Hey Lynn,

I have thought about it every day for weeks - I think I will end up celebrating it in tears DH and I are going to see our mums on the Saturday instead so that we are not put under that pressure to be "ok" on the Sunday. DH asked me what I wanted him to do in terms of a present and I didnt really know what to say. I was thinking if he was to buy me something I might get upset because Nicholas should be here to give it to me but then if he doesnt I might get upset thinking that I am a mum and deserve something too. God sometimes I think our "Mum" jobs are harder than those with living children because they get the rewards with the stress, we only get the stress and the heartache, there are no rewards whatsoever being "Mum" to an angel baby (well apart from the compassion you learn for others). The only thing I know for sure is that I dont want him to give me anything from his kids because it would almost be like rubbing it in iykwim. He said he wouldnt do that but he would like to do something "from him and Nick".

Do you have any idea what you are thinking of doing? I think maybe I would prefer DH take me out to a nice dinner and the movies and spoil me a little rather than buy me a present. At least that way it will keep me distracted.

Hey maybe we can all hang out on here depressed and crying together LOL