Spring - that was a beautiful gift you received from your parents Harrison IS still with you, not the way we want but still here. He is everywhere you look and everywhere you are.

Caitlyn is always with me. Her spirit brings me cloudy days when I need her close (she was born in rain and a storm) and the full moon reminds me of her birth and existence (in a much nicer way these days) . A candle gives me a connection with her when I need it.

The first Mother's day was so very hard. DH bought me flowers and we spent the day together. I had the same poem Rach posted and cried a river of tears. You feel like you aren't really a mother and yet you believe that you are.

This year will be different. I will still mourn that my baby girl would be 18 months old, walking, talking, being a real little person. I will miss the cuddle I could have receieved and the special moments to share. This year though I will also have hope. Hope that this little boy will soon arrive safe and make my next Mother's Day a little more special rather than sad and a little more real rather than the illusion I feel it is.

Sunday May 13th is our day as much as anyone elses. We are mummys to very special babys. Special little angels to watch over us