Millie---we must fight to move on. It's strange to think of, but Oliver wouldn't want you to stay in bed, would he? It's hard to move on... I know it. My daughter was born stillborn on the eighth of May, so I'm still going through this hell. I know what it's like to wish every second of every day that I had died, too. I'm lucky in a sense---I don't have to deal with a husband who will try to ignore the issues.

I try to think of it like this: our babies can only push so hard to get us out of bed every day---to bring new smiles to our faces, and to try to get us to function. They aren't in our arms, but that doesn't matter. The love between us will never end, and someday we'll be with them again.

I want to get pregnant again---and I know how guilty that feels, but I believe our children will understand that we need one of their siblings with us. Yes, there is a risk. Yes, there is that fear... But if we all gave up when things got tough then we'd all be dead. Please, let's keep going on strong. It's hard, but we're here. All of us. We'll get through this together.

For now, we can cry, we can scream, we can let it all out. It will never go away, and we'll never be who we once were... but we can still be beautiful things. You are a mother, Millie. There is nothing on this earth that is more beautiful or holy than that position.