Dear Aunty M

Sorry to hear about you losing your precious magical baby Yeti. The pain is still so raw and that is normal - it only just happened. There are quite a few of us here who have lost babies for whatever reason and underneath we all feel the same and have felt the same way through our grieving stages. What you are feeling is normal. Trying to find "how and when do i pick myself up (and why bother)" is the hardest part.

I didn't want to be alive anymore when we lost our son - but that thought only stayed with me for a few moments. Once my friends started visiting it got me off my backside as i had to "tidy up the place" before they came, however before that i would just be lying on my bed staring at the wall. I think trying to get some normality back was a big step - i actually got off my backside to do something (although little) and knew that was a step forward.

It is a very difficult time and i can say it does get easier as time goes on (doesn't "time heal" ?). Not saying i do not cry - I DO - and i still get very angry. The first thing i said to my DH when we found out our son had died was "we can get through this and this is only going to make us closer and stronger". So far so good - although i must say we argue a bit more than we used to. We are very much alike and understand each other quite well so i think that is keeping us together. Plus we will not let somethign like this tear us apart.

I don't know about trying to stop coping with Yeti's death. How can one do that - i don't think it is something that you can escape. Just take each day as it comes and if you need to cry (even if you are out shopping or at work) JUST DO IT. Don't worry about what people think. Talk to people about it - i find this helps alot. And if you have some sort of counselling service then use it. Very helpful.

I wish you well in the coming months - they will be tough. And i also wish you the best with TTC - that is a step forward.

We are all here always - every day. So keep popping in to say hello and tell us how you are feeling. Take care

XX Tommysmum