Auntie M, our stories are very similar I had a routine u/s at 36w6d and was told that they couldn't find a heartbeat. When my precious son Cooper was born the next day at 37 weeks the cord was tightly around his neck twice.

The pain is so strong and even 6 months after Cooper was born, the pain so days are still unbearable. Just today has been a hard day for me. It has been raining for days here and we have been stuck inside. I said to my DH today, I am bored, but I shouldn't be. I should be feeding my baby, changing nappies, getting some sleep. I still don't understand how and why this happened to me.

Although I am pg now I actually find that my grieving for Cooper has become a lot stronger because I can remember what it is was like when I was pg with him. I just wish I could go back..........but I know I can't. If anything I can be grateful for the most beautiful 9 months that I carried my sweet boy. I loved being pg with Cooper and I don't think I will love being pg again................the innocence is lost.

Just take each day at a time and cherish the 'ok' days. Reach out to people that understand and that can support you through the darkest days. I agree with the other girls, join the TTC thread. If it wasn't for the girls in that thread, I wouldn't be where I am today. I also had counselling and while I think it helped me to speak openly and honestly about my feelings, I felt that *speaking* with the girls in the TTC helped me more.

Take care, thinking of you and your beautiful son Yeti