Beata, 40 days & 30 Days til my holiday! And yes, little terrors those children are when they don't have enough sleep. My heart was in my throat!
Dee, I'm sorry you got a BFN. Sending you baby dust for your next cycle. It WILL happen! And thanks for the healthy vibes! They worked a treat, I feel my normal self again!
Tildy, you clever little thing! Typing to us with one hand! Hope you's are settling in!
Sue, thanks so much for your thoughts I have had a few cries over the last couple of days Mostly because we have a few parties and things around that time, and a few of my friends that are pregnant will be there (of whom I've been avoiding like the plague.. I know, I'm aweful) and I'm not overly excited about it. But, as DF said last night, I can't avoid pregnant people forever, and I can't not be happy for them because of my own bad luck, so I'm pulling my chin up. My baby will come to me when they're ready to, and when they do it will be our special little earth baby
AFM. I FOUND MY WEDDING DRESS! They have to order in my size (And it comes in US sizes, so I'm a size 10 woo! :P) but when I get it (and when I'm allowed to take photos - they don't let you take photos til you pay some dosh, incase you get it made) I'll post it up. When I explain it to people I get a eewwww-are-you-really-going-to-wear-that-screwed-up-face look so I don't think I'll do it any justice if I try now. But, it's just gorgeous.
Found a celebrant as well, she sounds lovely. She suggested a few ideas for the ceremony, one being The Warming of the Rings. As she is doing the vows she passes our rings around in a little velvet pouch, starting with my mum, to all the guests who put good luck wishes on them, then they go back to DF's mum and she passes them to us. I thought it was really sweet, and something I have never heard of before.
ETA, just wanted to share some exciting news with you all. The man that causes alot of troubles for us in our office resigned today. And I may be in the running for his position. Which means a company car and possible payrise. Wish me luck!!
Dee, I tried to post several times last night, but BB kept crashing. I am so sorry that you got a BFN hun, but am glad that you are feel optomistic about the future, you are right, it WILL happen for you. I'm also glad that you spoke to your DH's family about how you are feeling, good for you. Take care.
Beata we have 2 embies left and then we are having 6 months break before doing a new cycle just so i can have my body back for a bit if we need to go their.
Teagz thanks for the message, how exciting about the wedding dress i can't wait to see it. I fell in love with the first dress i tried on and i love our photos.
Berry thank you, you are such a sweet person and yes i have to say i feel quite proud to actually speak out about how i feel to dh family and i think it has made me and dh a lot more easy with each other cause he no longer feels like he is stuck in the middle.
My parents arrive on saturday for a couple of days and i can't wait i'm like a little kid at christmas i haven't seen them since christmas and this is the longest that i have gone between visits and it is the first time that they will see chloe's cupboard so it will be extra special.
okay i'm rambling now will chat later and all take care for the end of the week.
Dee - so sorry that you didn't get your BFP this time around. You do sound so very positive and part of that is the new confidence that you and DH have with dealing with his family - well done! I hope one of your little embies will be your earth angel soon
Teagz - what an amazing strength you have to deal with all those celebrations with children and pregnancies around you. I only hope that one day I can be half as strong as you! And congrats on finding the wedding dress - can't wait to see the photos. I had to have mine altered to allow for my exploding boobs - the zip had to be removed and it was replaced with a panel and a lace up back. Our celebrant suggested a Wine Ceremony as part of our marriage as both of us are wine buffs (not that I have had a drink for ages now!). It was nice to personalise the service for us and it sounds like the Warming of the Rings will be lovely.
Beata - thanks for the healing energy thoughts. They must have worked because my cold hasn't gotten any worse - it's just hanging around being a little bit annoying and making me quite tired still. I hope your painting is going well - I think you will deserve a full body massage when you're finished to deal with those aching neck and shoulder muscles I always seem to get when I paint!
to Berry, Tildy, Nae, Sue, ALM, DD and everyone else!
AFM - I had coffee with my boss yesterday to discuss how and when I would come back to work. The meeting didn't start off too well as I ended up in tears after his first question, which wasn't meant to be hurtful, it was just a simple question about whether DH and I had had a chance to get away for a break. This made me think back to our honeymoon and how happy we were with no idea of the heartbreaking time we were about to encounter. I simply can't talk about those things with people, not because they were not happy times, but because it reminds me of my baby and how I miss him so much. I still find visiting places where I was when I was pregnant makes me feel the same way, and some days I can't deal with it and have to leave and other times I get through it, just. My GP has written me a Dr's certificate which essentially says I can come back to work at my own pace over the next 6 weeks. She is happy to review that if I am still not up to full time working by the end of the 6 weeks. I am very worried about how I will be mixing it with my work colleagues, who I know only have my best interests at heart. I am sure they will ask me questions which I am not ready/able and may never be ready to talk about. And I am dreading the trite comments of "don't worry, you can always have another one" or "it was for the best". I have heard these from my own mother so why would I expect that well intentioned colleagues wouldn't say the same things? I guess I will have to work out my own way of dealing with these comments before they happen - I need to be prepared. Anyway, enough rambling from me.
I was so thrilled to see that we welcome Kaitlyn and Benjamin into this fabulous world. Congratulations Mum's and Dad's - I was reading your smiles in your posts.
Shez67 - welcome (sadly) but yes, this place is amazing and is full of awesome women who know more than ever how difficult trying is after a loss of any kind - be it late or early. Thank you for checking in on me, that is very sweet
Nae, and Di, I hope you are getting on ok, DIANA, Atake it easy woman. Put those feet up and enjoy some you time.
AFM - really really really over the MS now. Seriously, going a little insane. All I do is sit inside and move from the lounge to the bedroom. Its seriously driving me insane. Sorry, again, I won't complain. Hopefull it will end at 14 weeks (with Grace it went till 16 but I choose to be optimistic).
I'm a bit like Nae and feel bad about popping in about my preg stories. Especially since I am semi-complaining coz of the sickies. (Please know I am really not). With my story, I have had two losses - one at 14 weeks and the other at 23 due to what docs believed to be an incompetent cervix - that is still being investigated however. Anyway, we tried for six months afterwards and finally we fell pregnant again. Its still only early days and we'll just enjoy each day as it comes but hopefully it reminds you girls that one cycle, just when you think its gonna be just one ol line again, that second little line appears and it knocks you for six. I really hope this month is your month.
Chez, I just wanted to wish you heaps of love. I just properly read your story and feel every part of what you are going through. I really am so very loss for both you and your partner's loss. It is such a difficult time and its a very lonely feeling. You know I have lost a few friends over my experience with Grace - because I felt a lot of them treated it as "just a miscarriage". But I held my beautiful daughter in my arms for thirty minutes before she passed away peacefully, I even heard her beautiful little cry. And the fact that some of my friends were thoughtless enough to suggest I go dancing only 3 months later blew me away. So if ever you are feeling like you have to keep it together for everyone else, I say bugger them. You look after you and your partner.
My husband and I got married in Europe and then we came home and tried for Grace. We were successful after just one month of trying but now, like you, whenever I see our amazing photos of our beautiful adventures together, I always think "we had no idea what sadness we would endure only a few months after our return". So I understand what you are feeling. I'm sorry that your TTC journey has taken such a long time - your loss must have been amplified.I know for DH and I, if this doesn't happen for us (fingers crossed it does), we believe we can't go through this again. Not for at least a couple of years. So we're thinking about foster parenting and possibly adoption, again, only if pumpkin is taken from us.
Lots of hugs to you Chez, you're a strong person, just like the other strong women in this forum.
Love Joselyn/Jasmine (Jos s my forum name - Jas is my real name). xxx
Thank you so much for your post. It brought tears to my eyes reading about holding your beautiful little Grace in your arms and hearing her cry. We never got to hear Ryan or see the colour of his eyes. God, how can life be this cruel? I am continuing to take each day as it comes, carefully and with respect for my and DH's feelings at the time. Some days are good and I feel like I am getting a bit stronger. My psych says I am doing very well, but I don't really know. How can anyone ever recover from this depth of grief and sorrow? Reading the stories from the other lovely women here at BB makes it all a little easier, and their support as always is invaluable. It is my lifeline each day, checking and reading but not always having the strength to post as writing the words sometimes amplifies my pain which I am still struggling with. Now that most of the physical effects of the birth and D&C have gone, I am trying to look forward to AF arriving (it even looks weird when I type this!) so that I can regain some control over TTC again. We want to start again straight away but until I know what my body is doing, that's hard.
Anyway, thanks again Jas and I wish you a very H&H pg. I hope that we will be comparing MS stories very soon!
Cherylxx
Hope you's are settling in!
I have had a few cries over the last couple of days
Mostly because we have a few parties and things around that time, and a few of my friends that are pregnant will be there (of whom I've been avoiding like the plague.. I know, I'm aweful) and I'm not overly excited about it. But, as DF said last night, I can't avoid pregnant people forever, and I can't not be happy for them because of my own bad luck, so I'm pulling my chin up. My baby will come to me when they're ready to, and when they do it will be our special little earth baby
to Berry, Tildy, Nae, Sue, ALM, DD and everyone else!
Bookmarks