Chez, I just wanted to wish you heaps of love. I just properly read your story and feel every part of what you are going through. I really am so very loss for both you and your partner's loss. It is such a difficult time and its a very lonely feeling. You know I have lost a few friends over my experience with Grace - because I felt a lot of them treated it as "just a miscarriage". But I held my beautiful daughter in my arms for thirty minutes before she passed away peacefully, I even heard her beautiful little cry. And the fact that some of my friends were thoughtless enough to suggest I go dancing only 3 months later blew me away. So if ever you are feeling like you have to keep it together for everyone else, I say bugger them. You look after you and your partner.

My husband and I got married in Europe and then we came home and tried for Grace. We were successful after just one month of trying but now, like you, whenever I see our amazing photos of our beautiful adventures together, I always think "we had no idea what sadness we would endure only a few months after our return". So I understand what you are feeling. I'm sorry that your TTC journey has taken such a long time - your loss must have been amplified.I know for DH and I, if this doesn't happen for us (fingers crossed it does), we believe we can't go through this again. Not for at least a couple of years. So we're thinking about foster parenting and possibly adoption, again, only if pumpkin is taken from us.

Lots of hugs to you Chez, you're a strong person, just like the other strong women in this forum.


Love Joselyn/Jasmine (Jos s my forum name - Jas is my real name). xxx