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Thread: Trying to Conceive after Late Loss/Recurrent Miscarriage/Stillbirth ~ March 09

  1. #73

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    Hello girls,

    Nae, I've been praying so hard everythinkg is OK with your little bubba and I haven't been able to find your thread with the good news, but it sounds like the news is good so I am just so happy for you hun!!!! I'll check in tomorrow, hopefully you would have updated us.

    Teagz, I just want to reach over the screen and give you a huge hug I know the feeling so well, and I wish it could be different for us but we have to be patiens as I'm sure our turn is just around the corner hun xxxx
    And a big cry sometimes it actually really good hun, so don't hold it in .



    Diana, I hope your scan went well hun. Sending you big hugs and big belly rubs for your bubbie xxxxx

    Jo, can't wait for your announcement soon hun. I hope removing the stich is not so bad, and I'm sure you'll forget the pain the second you meet your little princess . This is so exciting now isn't it?? Big hugs hun xxxxx

    Hello to everyone else, sorry for the quick post but I just wanted to check up on Nae and I'm so glad I did as I now know all is well, thank goodness. I will come back tomorrow and do the rest of my persies

    Lots of love and big hugs
    B xxxxxx

  2. #74

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    Default Hello - new to this thread

    Hi everyone

    While I have been a BB member for a while now, I am new to this thread and wanted to quickly introduce myself. DH and I were married 5 weeks ago - 2 weeks ago we buried our little miracle, our son Ryan. The results of an amnio showed he had a chromosonal abnormality and, one week later, at 18weeks I was induced. 36 hours later our little boy was born sleeping.

    The last two and a half weeks have been very hard. DH and I are working together to get through this day by day; we have seen a counsellor and will probably keep doing so for a while yet. I don't have the courage the return to work yet - maybe sometime after Easter.

    While I am not physically ready to start TTC again, I need to start thinking about it because I don't have time on my side (I am 41) and we found it so hard to conceive Ryan that I don't expect anything to happen quickly, or possibly at all. I am seeing an AP/herbalist who wants me to wait at least 2 months before TTC again, which sounds reasonable to us.

    My question is, how long physically should it take my body to heal? *TMI alert* I am still bleeding and in the last few days I noticed I am now passing pieces of tissue (endometrium?). Is this normal?

    Sorry for the lack of personals, I will try to catch up on everyone's posts over the next few days.

  3. #75

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    Howdy All,

    Firstly, Chez67,

    I am so sorry you have found your way into this thread and for the passing of your son Ryan. I don't have any answers fr you about when to start TTC my journey after Nikita was a little different and we were told to wait 6-9 months before we start TTC because she was born via emergency C sec. I am glad you are seeking help too, it is a very personal journey that you are going through both you and your DH will come along in different stages and the grief will be different for both of you as time goes on. You will find a lot of support in here many wonderful women and lots and lots of different stories.
    I guess if I was to offer any advice it would be to start TTC when you and your DH both feel that the time is right because it can be different between you both.


    Sorry I have not been in here since my post in my beanie baby thread, I had to download the updated version of my virus prtection program and because I am on crappy old dial up it literally took all day to do 9hrs just to get 69mb then yesterday I couldn't get on to BB at all think it may have had something to do with DLS? maybe the system needed to wind back the clock or something - so I sat and watched all of the matrix movies *sigh* Keanu

    Well as some of you already know, we had happy news on friday and I was a blubbering mess. Beanie measures 8 weeks old and had a 154bpm heartbeat, we're expecting to pop around 13th Nov so we should have our first real family christmas this year. I have my first Ob appointment today, it was soo funny because I din't even make it. Mr GP rang my Ob to tell him what has been going on and my Ob went out to reception made an appointment and told then to ring me and let me know I was expected today - god love him. He is an awesome Ob I guess in some respected we got to know him a fair bit last year when I was in Warragul hospital aside from the fact that my DH taught his daughter when she was in the choir. Thats the best thing about living country I s'pose

    Hey Beata - wanna know something - I spoke to a Beata on Friday (I think) for my job. DO you know until I met you I never knew another Beata and then I get a call from one at my work - how funny.

    Teagz - big super dooper hug hun, those days are aweful aren't they. I am getting a few more of them lately as we draw closer to Nikita's first birthday and 1st Angelversary. We need to have a big cry every now and then - its healthy. While I am absolutely thrilled about finally getting past the 8 week mark I am packing dacks at the same time especially when I have little bleeds. Your time will come honey, just be patient when its the right time things will work out for you.

    Hi to everyone else.

    Much Love to all
    Nae x x x x x

  4. #76

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    Dear NaeNae,

    I am so happy to hear your news. I have been checking over the weekend.

    Congratulations and I wish you a safe and happy pregnancy.

    xxx Sue xxx

  5. #77

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    Hi girls

    Just popping in to say a quick hello and have a huge vent. Sorry for lack of perssies but will try to catch up soon, promise. I have 3 more weeks til this event is over (without one day off!) and can then take some time for myself.

    Few things first:

    Chez, welcome to our wonderful thread but I really wish you didn't have to find yourself here. I am so very sorry for the loss of your precious Ryan.

    Nae, so very happy for you sweets. What wonderful news. Sebastian was due on the 13th November, and this one is due on the 11th.

    Jo, wow can't believe how ready to pop you almost are! Am with you all the way.

    AFM, I met my new OB on Friday and he is so very lovely. He is a high risk OB and his office is right across the hall from my old OB so it was quite hard going back there and it stirred up loads of emotions and memories. Anway, I was talking to my new OB about my history and he got out my old file and had a read and concluded that I don't have an incompetent cervix, and truly believes an infection caused me to go into premature labour that anitibiotics could have fixed!! I told him my old OB said the infection I had came on when my waters broke but he disagreed and said the infection seemed to have started at about 14 weeks and basically nothing was done about it (which was when I first started complaining of pain with the old OB so it makes sense). I can't believe it.... I cried and cried so much in his office when he revealed all this stuff. To think a course of antibiotics could have saved Sebastian and all the while my old OB was telling me it was my cervix. What an absolute butcher. I am seriously considering legal action atm.

    Anyway, so for this pg, he wants me on antibiotics from 10 weeks (5 tablets a month) and 1 progesterone pessarie until 34 weeks (new study has found it helps with PROM). He said I won't need to have a stitch and will monitor me every week - he must have seen the look of horror on my face but said if I was set on getting it, then he would. I have until I'm 14 weeks to decide.

    Really not sure what to do. I want to put all my faith in this new OB but I'm scared. I put all my faith in my old OB and look where it got me...

    To stitch or not to stitch... that is the question. Any advice?

    big big hugs to all
    Last edited by dd0207; April 6th, 2009 at 12:02 PM.

  6. #78

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    Hi ladies,

    just a quick one, boobie monster is bound to wake up screaming for a feed any minute!

    Just wanted to welcome Chez, I'm sorry you lost your little boy. I like Nae had a c-section with my angel so not in the same situation, but I think from what I've read after your first period your body should be ready to try again. When this will come is luck of the draw though.

    Diana, also wanted to add that if your OB monitors your cervix weekly through U/S then you should be ok... they can do measurements and make a call from there. But if you really feel the only way you can have confidence is with a stitch then go for that.

    Love Rozzie

  7. #79

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    Hmm, DD, it's a tricky one. I can't see how there would be such a confusion in deciding whether what happened was caused by an IC or an infection though?
    If it were me, i think i'd demand the stitch and go on the antibiotics to have all my bases covered. But on the other hand he seems to be taking extra precausions with monitoring you closely... hmm, I think i'm just as undecided as you are, hun. Perhaps have a good chat with him, even ask if you can read your notes youself and see what you can make of them - I know we're not Dr's but somtimes common sense goes a long way.

    Syran, how are you and little bubba going? Not long for you guys now! I honesly cannot believe how fast the time has gone for everyone in that May thread.

    NaeNae. Yay! congrats for your scan! Hate to say we told you so... but we soo told you so Sending our huge sticky vibes to. Your ob sounds lovely. A bit like my GP, he gave up delivering babies about 3 years ago, but his heart is still very much in it (I think he mostly gave it up because of the hours, and he is getting on a bit) and he's truly hanging out for my BFP. It's wonderful that we get such lovely Dr's.

    Chez I'm so sorry you have had to join this thread, But you will never find a better bunch of ladies. As for healing. My Dr said to wait until after my first period before we started trying again and then in his second breath said if I was to fall pregnant before that it would be no big deal. I heard a rumour the only reason that they like you to wait is so they have a clear picture of how far along you are next time from your last cycle (if that makes sense) I know a few people who never got a period in between and have gone on to having beautiful lillte bubbas, my little (well younger because he's six foot something now!)brother is one of these. In saying this though it is what you're confortable with and if you're body isn't ready it won't cooporate with you anyway, so I've found out

    Beata, thanks for the hugs right back at ya! I'm surround by babies and pregnant people lately and it just gets to me some days that I feel like a sulking little 6 year old for not getting my own way. Humph.

    ALM, Wow! not long for you to go either! 14th of april isn't far away at all. You may even get a little easter surprise yet. Ouchies about the stitch, though. But all for a good cause!

    What has everyone got planned for the easter long weekend?

  8. #80

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    Wow Diana - just had to post after reading your update! That's a hard call for you to make re the stitch but as IC is so unpredictable, I think I would probably have the stitch done anyway. I read back on your original post about losing your boy and I know I am not an ob/specialist but how does he know 100% that you had this infection from 14 weeks? I mean, your symptoms of pressure/pain could have also been caused by your cervix changing, which it obviously was when they picked up the funnelling at your later scan. My ob always described it to me as a chicken and egg scenario as to what comes first - the cervix changing which allows the infection in, or the infection that then causes the waters to break and loss. Helen would be a good person to advise you further as from memory she was in the same position - should she or shouldn't she get the stitch and as we know she got the stitch just in case.
    On the other hand, weekly scans would be handy and hopefully would pick up any changes in time if you did need a stitch after all BUT preventative stitches have a better success rate than emergency ones (as you found out the hard way). Sooo, sorry but I have probably been no help whatever and in the end you have to do what makes you feel comfortable. As you said, you have some time up your sleeve in which to decide.

    Welcome to Chez and I am sorry to read of the loss of your son. What a rough start to your married life with your DH. I just looked up my diary from when I had Luke and it looks like I bled for about 2-3 weeks and ovulated 4 weeks past birth. I was pretty lucky with my body getting back on track so quickly. I hope your body sorts itself out for you soon as the last thing you need is all the physical reminders on top of your emotional pain and recovery.

    Nae - congrats again on your wonderful news and it is great to see that ticker in your sig!

    Beata - thanks; I'm positive the pain of the removal will definitely be forgotten once our girl makes her entrance! But in the meantime I stress...

    Take care everyone x

  9. #81

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    Hi everyone,

    I can't believe I got on belly!!! I have been trying to get on pretty much since saturday night, with no luck. I think there might have been a problem with belly as I was able to get on other sites.

    First of all, welcome Chez. I am so very sorry for your loss hun. I am sure that you will find incredible support here among us, we have a very special group of girls here.
    I lost my son Joshua in October last year, and had light bleeding for a few days initially (I had my placenta removed surgically). After a week of very light bleeding, I started to pass huge blood clots (sorry TMI) I was totally freaked out. That countinued for a day, and then the bleeing was very light again for a few days, and then it stopped. I got my period 5 weeks after I miscarried, and have had regular periods ever since (except my last one which came on day 27 of my cycle instead of day 29).
    Unfortunately I couldn't TTC when I was mentally ready to try again, as the reason for my miscarriage was a huge fibroid which has now been removed. I hope to do a FET in June this year. So to answer you question, try as soon as you are ready mentally. Phisically, we heal fairly quickly (except after a c/s) but it's the emotional side of things which decides when we are ready.
    Good luck hun, I hope to hear of a BFP from you very soon

    Nae, I am sooooooooooo pleased that your little bubbie is a littler fighter! I am absolutely thrilled for you hun. Keep up the good work and have some faith!
    How funny you spoke to another Beata! When I first arrived in Australia, I thought I was the only Beata here, but there seems to be a few here!! lol.

    Diana, I'm so sorry everything has been thrown up in the air again for you. I guess on one hand, to hear that it possibly wasn't an IC, is a blessing. But then to find out that it could have been an infection that could have been treated easily, would be understandably very upsetting for you. I guess you can go with your gut feeling hun, or just put yourself completely in your high risk OB's hands, if you have a good feeling about him. I really don't know what I would do, but I know the weekly checks would help a lot. Big hugs hun

    Teagz, if you want to be like a sulking 6 year old, just go for it. You have every right hun, this is how I often feel these days, although I'm trying really hard to be happy for people getting pg (except of course for our lovelies here!!!). I recently went to a SAND meeting, and one girl there lost a full term baby as the cord detatched itseld from the placenta in the last half hour of her delivery. That was 8 months ago. She came to the last meeting and I thought there was something different about her. She is now 13 weeks pg. I was honestly both thrilled and somehow envious to find out. I wanted to be her so bad, that feeling still overtook my 'happy for you' feeling. Oh well, we can only try hey? Not long for us to go chooky!!!!!

    Jo, wow! Not long to go for you hun! I keep everything crossed that all goes very smoothly for you. Where did all that time go?????? Please don't stress hun, you're almost there and I'm positive everything will go very smoothly for you.

    Rozzie, hope little Henry is behaving himself and looooves his sleep!!

    AFM, not much to report, someone asked if my FS is going to do a hysteroscopy to see if all has healed well in the uterus. Doc didn't mention that, only about the lining check and if he's not happy with the u/s images, he wants to do a MRI. He said that I shouldn't need one, but the girl raised an interesting question, one I'll be asking the FS in May. Feeling a little bit less stressed about things, I just hope and pray all looks good inside and I'm good to go in June.

    Big hello to all the girls, I'll catch up with you all soon.

    Love B xxxx

  10. #82

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    Hi everyone,

    I can't believe I got on belly!!! I have been trying to get on pretty much since saturday night, with no luck. I think there might have been a problem with belly as I was able to get on other sites.

    First of all, welcome Chez. I am so very sorry for your loss hun. I am sure that you will find incredible support here among us, we have a very special group of girls here.
    I lost my son Joshua in October last year, and had light bleeding for a few days initially (I had my placenta removed surgically). After a week of very light bleeding, I started to pass huge blood clots (sorry TMI) I was totally freaked out. That countinued for a day, and then the bleeing was very light again for a few days, and then it stopped. I got my period 5 weeks after I miscarried, and have had regular periods ever since (except my last one which came on day 27 of my cycle instead of day 29).
    Unfortunately I couldn't TTC when I was mentally ready to try again, as the reason for my miscarriage was a huge fibroid which has now been removed. I hope to do a FET in June this year. So to answer you question, try as soon as you are ready mentally. Phisically, we heal fairly quickly (except after a c/s) but it's the emotional side of things which decides when we are ready.
    Good luck hun, I hope to hear of a BFP from you very soon

    Nae, I am sooooooooooo pleased that your little bubbie is a littler fighter! I am absolutely thrilled for you hun. Keep up the good work and have some faith!
    How funny you spoke to another Beata! When I first arrived in Australia, I thought I was the only Beata here, but there seems to be a few here!! lol.

    Diana, I'm so sorry everything has been thrown up in the air again for you. I guess on one hand, to hear that it possibly wasn't an IC, is a blessing. But then to find out that it could have been an infection that could have been treated easily, would be understandably very upsetting for you. I guess you can go with your gut feeling hun, or just put yourself completely in your high risk OB's hands, if you have a good feeling about him. I really don't know what I would do, but I know the weekly checks would help a lot. Big hugs hun

    Teagz, if you want to be like a sulking 6 year old, just go for it. You have every right hun, this is how I often feel these days, although I'm trying really hard to be happy for people getting pg (except of course for our lovelies here!!!). I recently went to a SAND meeting, and one girl there lost a full term baby as the cord detatched itseld from the placenta in the last half hour of her delivery. That was 8 months ago. She came to the last meeting and I thought there was something different about her. She is now 13 weeks pg. I was honestly both thrilled and somehow envious to find out. I wanted to be her so bad, that feeling still overtook my 'happy for you' feeling. Oh well, we can only try hey? Not long for us to go chooky!!!!!

    Jo, wow! Not long to go for you hun! I keep everything crossed that all goes very smoothly for you. Where did all that time go?????? Please don't stress hun, you're almost there and I'm positive everything will go very smoothly for you.

    Rozzie, hope little Henry is behaving himself and looooves his sleep!!

    AFM, not much to report, someone asked if my FS is going to do a hysteroscopy to see if all has healed well in the uterus. Doc didn't mention that, only about the lining check and if he's not happy with the u/s images, he wants to do a MRI. He said that I shouldn't need one, but the girl raised an interesting question, one I'll be asking the FS in May. Feeling a little bit less stressed about things, I just hope and pray all looks good inside and I'm good to go in June.

    Big hello to all the other girls, I'll catch up with you all soon.

    Love B xxxx

  11. #83

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    Hi everyone

    Thank you so much for making me feel welcome in this thread. It is so lovely to be able to talk to people who understand me. Where we live I don't have any family around - they're all interstate - and so are my friends as we only moved here 18 months ago. It is sad that everyone has taken such painful journeys to be here, but hopefully we can all support each other in our quest for a BFP!

    AFM, I have given into my DH's nagging and have made an appointment with my GP for tomorrow re the bleeding. I figure it can double as a pre-conception check up as well just in case I need to have any more tests done or injections/boosters which might be due. Best to get them done earlier than later. I really have no idea what my body is doing at the moment, but maybe once the physical stuff settles down I will feel more interested in TTC. DH has organised a trip to Tasmania for the Easter weekend to get away from everyone and everything and just be us without all of the reminders and the questions. We are both looking forward to the 4 day escape as life has been difficult these last few days.

    Sorry for no personals, but I offer my congratulations to all those with good news, and lots of for the rest of us who are taking each day one day at a time.

    Cherylxx

  12. #84

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    Hi girls
    Congratulations to Nae! See we all told you not to give up! I am so happy there was a little HB thumping away in there.
    Chez you will find great support from the women in here, the thread got me through some very dark times. I just wish you never had to venture onto this side... In regard to when to try again, it took me 3 months roughly to get my first cylce back, the OB suggested to wait for one cycle after that. Everyone is different though and he made the comment it is really only for dating purposes, which they have scans for anyway.
    Diana, I hear exactly where you are coming from! They really don't know 100% what started my labour off either, I was 4cm dilated when I got to hospital, only reason I went in was I had just had a run of BH, and a show. Was put on bedrest, but sadly delivered our little boy 2 days later. When I fell pregnant again, we spoke about doing exactly what your OB is describing as mine also thought it was more likely the infection, but could not rule out IC. I spoke to my Gynae who was also an OB (who thought it was more the other way around!), and then back to this OB and we decided to do the stitch anyway. My biggest fear was even with weekly monitoring I could have great length only to go home and have it shorten/funnel overnight (so to speak). It is hard because the stitch also carries an infection risk, but looking back now I am glad I had it done for my piece of mind, so far touch wood it has been stable all the way through and I am wondering whether IC was ever the problem. For me it was a matter of doing everything 'just in case'. Good luck, it is a tough one.

  13. #85

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    Hiya girls, thanks for your advice and hugs.

    Jo, to answer your questions, my new OB said IC would not cause the pain I had for weeks and weeks on end. He said generally IC gives very little warning and within days of first sign of pain, or in some cases no pain at all, you go into spontaneous labour. My pain started at week 14 and continued every single day until I went into labour at 21 weeks - he said what I had are classic symptoms of an infection, not IC. Plus he kept looking at my file, shaking his head and kept saying "yep, you had an infection" so I don't know what he was looking at. I believe you and Helen didn't have much warning right so it does make me wonder. I just don't know what to think or believe anymore.
    I think I will have the stitch anyway. I will be on antibiotics from week 10 so my risk of infection from the stitch will be quite low anyway and as you said, it's better to do it now, rather than in an emergency situation.

    Thanks Helen, I think I will do whatever "just in case" with this pregnancy too. I just don't want to take any chances. Obviously one of the two caused Sebastian's loss so I think it's best to treat both things and be safe.

    I've decided not to dwell on the "what if" again as it's really upsetting me too much. I am going to concentrate on getting this little tiger over the line and home with me.

    You girls are the best.

    Hello to everyone else and huge huge hugs x

  14. #86

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    DD - I think if you have doubts then to get a second opinion. I have my first Ob appointment yesterday and we did a swab test etc. Ob doesn't want to put a stitch in unless its necessary because it causes more complications later for women who do not have IC. I am seeing a specialist sonographer who is Gyn/Ob trained they will do my NT scan and have a good look at my cervix and will monitor this from 16 weeks (though I may remind Ob that he said from 14 weeks as we get closer) I told my Ob and will be telling the sonographer the seond they think a stich should go in then I want it done. I don't agree with unnecessary interventions personally despite what happened with Niki so I trust they will keep a close eye on things.

    I am wondering if you had swabs or bloods taken at all during the 14 week - 21 week appointments? If this new Ob is more specialised in High risk pregnancies I would tend to trust his judgement especially if he actually told you what happened with Sebastians pregnancy. and yes while things can change so quickly with IC, there are risks associated with a stitch too. How frequently are you seeing him?

    Stitches can be put in from 14 weeks onwards the complications they have at later dates is the cervix thinning but that doesn't happen earlier on. Why don't you see how you travel with this new Ob first and see how things develop then between 14-16 weeks which is when you started having touble last time you can always demand it then ?

    Its your own personal journey though hun so whatever you feel is best but this guy sounds pretty switched on and sounds like you are in pretty capable hands.

    Best of luck with your decision.

    Nae x x x

  15. #87

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    Beata, My mum suggested that I go to a few SANDS meetings but I just don't know. I think I like to babble here so I can hind my face a bit better hehe.
    That's horrible about one of the girls there, everything about pregnancy is just so unpredictable, isn't it? There are no garantee's. Gosh I'm going to be packing myself next time around I think! I must say I do admire all the preg mumma's here, they seems so calm mostly!
    I hope you're all good to go in June as well... Think nice calm, plush, squishy, 5 star hotel womb thoughts (get it? womb? room? Aaahaha. yeeeah, i wonder about my sanity aswell sometimes, don't worry! hehe) Only 54 days to go! Not that I'm counting...

    Aah, Chez, sometimes the OH are worse than us I think! DF had a bit of an internal battle with himself when we started TTC again. One minute he wanted to wait for all tests results to be back, next he wanted to just go for it and see what happened and then he demanded medical attention at any site of blood that appear in the wrong time frame of my cycle. I think he was stuck between making sure I was ok, making sure what happened never happened again, and then his instincts for being a dad and wanting a bub were taking over as well, poor bugger.
    After we lost Jayvan we disappeared for a few days after chrissy, it was wonderful. Despite the circumstances. It was great to get away and into our own headspace without any outsiders iykwim. I hope you guys have fun together

    Hi to everyone else! I will come back later and do more perssies. My head is a bit fuzzy lately and I'm very unmotivated atm! (hence procrastination!) Weddings plans are stll going full steam ahead. I now have half a celebrant (waiting for her to get back to me!) a place for a ceremony (an old heritage listed homestead out in the middle of nowhere, so pretty! A work friend of mine knows the owners so its the right price too) and a florist (my cousin, who informed me that I am jumping the gun a bit with organising flowers now. Oops!). I was saying to mum the other day I don't know why people get so stressed out over organising weddings, so far everything has been so frikken easy with getting everything on the right date. But I was told I'd be swallowing my words two weeks prior. Oh well, a girl can dream of a stress free wedding, right ?
    Bring on the long weekend, I hope everyone has a nice relaxing easter xx

  16. #88

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    Hi all

    Just thought I would update you on my GP visit. She's concerned about the ongoing bleeding so I am scheduled for an ultrasound tomorrow afternoon. I really hope I don't have to go in for a D&C. I've also had some blood tests done to check a few things including my iron levels. I've started iron tablets as of today on my GP's advice. She has also referred me to a pysch for some grief counselling. Since I didn't really connect very well with the last counsellor I am hoping that the psych will be different. Back to the GP again on Thursday for the test results.

    I had the most awful e-mail from my mum today who thinks I have post natal depression and "should have moved on by now", i.e. gone back to work and pretended it didn't happen. She told me I needed to see a doctor to "cure my problem". I was so angry at her. I wrote back that she wasn't being supportive or helpful, and that we needed to take the time to grieve for our baby, no matter how long that took. I am not too surprised by her insensitive comments. I guess it is her generation but she's a mum, surely she should be able to begin to imagine how I am feeling? AAAHHHHH!!

    Anyway, that's enough from me. I would love to be able to be part of your discussion about whether to stitch or not, but I only know about IC from the grief books I have read recently. Honestly, with so much that can go wrong during pg and birth I don't know how we continue to reproduce as a species! I guess my gut feeling, if that counts for anything, would be to go on the anti-biotics early and if the u/s showed any hint of anything happening with the cervix then put the stich in then. Not sure if that helps.

    Hi to everyone here. Hope your TTC is a short one.
    Cherylxx

  17. #89

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    Cheryl,

    just noticed you're in Canberra, so am I. I can recommend Sids and Kids for counselling, we found them quite good.

    I can't believe what your mother said... I won't even go into how wrong she is. But I would like to say that your loss is so recent that of course you're going to 'feel' depressed. I remember the counsellor telling me that often depression is misdiagnosed in grieving parents when it's really intense grieving. The midwife asked me last week if I was depressed after our loss and I thought about it and don't think I ever had clinical depression, just grief. Don't question your feelings because other people want you to be 'over it' and back to normal.

    Beata, I'll be interested to hear how your doctor checks your uterus...don't remember if I posted this but during my C-section they said my uterus was paper thin in parts and whilst I can have another pregnancy, if it happens again it may be my last.

    Jo, only one more week is it? Can't wait to hear of your little girl's arrival!

    hugs to all,

    XXX Rozzie

  18. #90

    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Canberra
    Posts
    670

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    Thanks Rozzie

    We saw a SIDS and Kids counsellor last week and while she was nice enough, neither DH or felt that she understood our situation or that we connected with her. It did help me to realise that what I am feeling is 'normal', if there is such a thing. Thank you for your kind words of support regarding my mum's message. Some small part of me thinks that maybe by trying to return to normal life and pretending that everything is ok will be of help, but the other (major) part of me believes that that will only cause problems for me in the future. When my dad passed away (I was 15), I went back to school and exams the next week. I wasn't allowed to grieve for him and it took me more than 20 years to recover to the point where I am now be able to speak about him and his illness and death without breaking down in tears.

    And I would also be interested in finding out about how the Dr checks the uterus lining. My periods have always been light only lasting for 2 or 3 days at the absolute max and I have always wondered whether this might be an indication of a thin uterus lining. I have had a couple of early miscarriages at 4.5 and 5 weeks. Perhaps that's why?

    xx

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