Trying to Conceive after Late Loss, Still Birth or Recurrent Miscarriage April '08

[Inanna]

If you have found yourself in this forum you no doubt have had a painful journey. TTC after recurrent miscarriage/stillbirth or Late Loss takes special courage and support. The aim of this forum is to provide a place where women who have endured loss can share their stories, friendships, treatments and triumphs!

My greatest wish is that you all leave this forum with nice big fat positives in the shortest possible time!!!

I hope so much that this month is YOUR month.

If at any time you'd like to make a suggestion, or provide any constructive feedback for this forum, please contact one of your following moderators:

Fllowerchild
Niliac
Alternately you may contact Kelly (however she may take a little longer to respond at times!).

Email addresses can be found here.

We appreciate all your feedback as it does help to make our forums a much happier, relaxed place to chat! We will always take your comments seriously - all comments are treated confidentially...

You will find the previous thread HERE

[Katiegirl]

Hi all. I just wanted to ask if you could remember DH and I tomorrow as it is Nathaniel's EDD. We are heading to a beach to watch the sunrise and we have a single white rose for Nathaniel and then will head to mass. DH bought him a lego which will go in his memorial box. We then hop on a plane for Tasmania for 5 days. I am just so glad that we have taken time off work so that we can do whatever we have to in order to face this coming days. So if you can just spare a moment to think of Natheniel, it would be much appreciated.

Thanks

[jo76]

katie - thinking of you already for much of the week as i knew his date was approaching. I think it sounds beautiful what DH has done with the leggo and the white rose is a really sweet reminder of your little boy. Take care, sending you loads of love and hugs! I hope the sunrise was extra special for you both!

[Hammi]

Hi Katie, thinking of you and your little family. I'm sure Nathaniel is giving you lovely angel kisses.

[jo76]

barbara - i was thinking about your due date today...have you done a due date calculation? As you must only be a few weeks if that behind me and i have a due date of dec 10th (at the moment -we'll see what the ultrasound says) so does mean you will have a chrissy / new year bubs???? Hopw you are still on cloud nine! When do you go to the docs etc!!! questions, questions!
x

[jen805]

Katiegirl--Thinking about you and you DH today. What a blessing your Nathaniel gave you for his anniversary! I'm sure the sunrise was beautiful!

Unfortunately I'm 17 hours behind you guys, so it's Wed. here and already 4 am on Thurs., so I really should have sent this yesterday. I always forget about the time difference! I'll be thinking of Nathaniel and you & your DH all day today since it's his day today! Hope you have a great time in Tasmania--I'm envious! Sending many your way!

[Anthonysmom]

Hi ladies - hope all is well. and thanks for the congrats.
Jo - I only used one test (mainly thats becasue i only had 1) saw the doctor on tuesday for bloodwork and took a pee test there as well. then since i am impatient and dr didn't call me back yesterday with HCG levels I took an OPK (I heard they also detect HCG.) It came up nice and dark so i was happy. My EDD for now is Dec 27. i have my first u/s on March6. so nervous.

Jen - I too think Anthony had a hand in this. glad to have someone else from the states in here. what part of cali are you from? DH is from LA county and I lived in Orange COunty for some years.

Simba - I was so upset when I wasn't pregnant by Anthony's due date that I decided he wasn't ready for me to be pregnant yet. It was still his time inside of me. Now my body is ready for a new baby. although i so wish i ad anthony with me.

TM - Are you stil in TWW? hope temp is nice and high.

Katie - I thought about you and your family all day on Wednesday, just not near a computer. I hope you enjoy and find some peace during your time away. God Bless little Nathaniel's heart.

Hammi - Hope you are all good as well.

AFM - On my way to dr. this morning for follow up blood work. although i never got back tuesday's bloods, so hopefully they will have them. the dr was great. she gave me a prescript for progesterone in case its low and already has me set up with my first u/s and next dr appt (two weeks) i also will be taking some u/s at the hospital with the high risk dr. they are trying to keep me sane. i am nervous about the u/s as we didn't see a heartbeat with Anthony until late 7 1/2 weeks. so i have decided not to freak out (yeah right) if they don't see a heartbeat at that u/s as I will be 6 1/2 weeks. arghh!!! i have to go to work today, i have the week off for spring break, but am such a procrastinator i am way behind on paperwork. ok off to dr then work. buy ladies.

Barbara

[jen805]

Anthonysmom--Hope BT are really high! I live less than an hour north of Santa Barbara, right on the central coast. Got a BFN this am... feeling a little stressed about it at the moment. Guess that leaves me waiting for AF (d**n it!)

[Anthonysmom]

Hey Jen sorry about your BFN. Like we say here though it isn't over until AF comes. I got my results back and have to go back again on Monday for more results. MY HCG was 374 on Tues and 956 on Thurs. the nurse said dr wants me back b/c it is such an early preg, but I am still freaked out. have a great weekend.

Barbara

[jen805]

Anthonysmom--Nice high numbers, they more than doubled in 2 days! Are the tests on Mon. to check the hcg again? At least your dr. seems to be on top of things, making sure everything's progressing as it should! Before you know it you'll be Hope you have a stress-free and relaxing weekend!

[Simba]

hi all just thought i'd drop in quickly and say hi. we have had a nice relaxing long weekend away. now back to reality at work tomorrow for another week. on work i have found out that i am still entitled to paid mat leave if i finish teaching at the end of this term (another 9 weeks). i would be able to take unpaid leave for term 3 and am able to work as a replacement teacher while on this upaid leave. my paid mat leave would then start a couple of weeks into term 4. i figure when i am doing replacement teacher work i dont have much responsibility and also it can be more flexible. i would probably do 4 days a week and cut back if i needed. dh is not too happy with this but i have to be strong and just say to him its what i need.

Barbara - hope all is going well, a xmas baby how special! so how many weeks does that make you? i know what you mean about still wishing you had anthony with you. i struggle with that feeling a lot. i want this baby so much but in many ways i want my Lani more. i feel a bit guilty for saying that but just wanted you to know that you're not the only one that feels that.

Katie - hope that you had a really special time away and was able to cherish nathaniel on his special day on the 23rd. i am sure it would have been a tough day for you but all the special things you did will help to make positive memories for you both to treasure always. good luck also for the scan tomorrow.

jo - congrats on the due date, when do you have the scan?

TM - hope that you are doing well - hope this is your month

jen - not sure if we have actually met i havent been posting in here much lately. anyway hi and sorry to hear that you got a bfn but barbara's right its not over till AF arrives she doesnt arrive.

Hammi - thinking of you and hope you are doing ok

[jen805]

Simba--We actually haven't met, but hopefully we'll get to know each other now! Not the best of circumstances to meet, but I think God put us all here together for a reason. Since you're speaking of maternity leave, I'm assuming that you're pg? Congrats! When are you due?

[jo76]

hi everyone!
Well, this sat (3rd may) is our turn to remember Jack, as that would have been his EDD. Really conflicting feelings at the moment which are'nt helped by battling a tiredness i have never felt before!I still don't know what we are doing for Jacks day - DH seemed so blase' about it last time I asked and its really ****ty esp when all of your DHs seem to have been so supportive and proactive in helping you all. I really am afraid he just won't get it if i do have a mini breakdown over the weekend. I feel quite horrible about the day right now so i don't really know what to do...i am hoping the right thing will just come to me and we will be ok on the day. I really want to get a new urn for his ashes so maybe that will be a good start!
As for this preg - like i said i am so tired its not funny! I have the day off today (thank-god!) and feel like i could spend the day in my dressing gown! I am trying to resist the daggy urge though! I have so much to do! I have my ultrsound next monday (5th) so it will be nice to have coming out of the weeknd for Jack and i think it will be something at least to look forward too. (although i am incredible nervous! I'll be 8 weeks so hoping the heartbeat is steady and strong for me!) I am still conflicted over this preg also. Want to happy, afraid to be...its like i don't want to allow myself hope and every time i go to the toilet i am looking for spotting which i hate but it all relates back to Jack and what happened there as it was so abnormal for me. But good news is i am peeing like a champion at night and all day so i figure that means this baby is fighting its way for me! its just hard esp when i went for the confirmation at the docs last week and she says "oh, the computer says you should be 38 weeks" i have'nt stopped thinking of that comment. What part of a flat belly did she not get! Quite obviously i was'nt and i got angry about it when i told one of my friends and she was furious with the doctor, purely for being an idiot! So that has been festering ...
ok for you guys! I feel like i have'nt been here for ages!
simba - hello! Glad all is going well for you! I really believe in you doing what you need to do and do what you feel is best for your body! If you need to drop hours or leave work sooner -do it!
jen - Welcome (for the wrong reasons), you will find incredibly supportive girls here! they have been my backbone many times! We did the drive right up the coast where you live last aug and loved it! Amazingly beautiful and i took a thousand shots of it all. We are over in the states very 2 years and at the moment are having major New York (our fave place!!!) withdrawals, we won't be going next year as we will have a new born but here is to a year after! keep dropping in, i agree we are here for a reason beyond our losses!!
barbara - wow - your dates truely are a chrissy /new years bub! wo-ho!And your ultrasound is a day after mine! Here is some hope for fab news for both of us to share!I have also had to book my 12 week ultrasound as they are all so busy in my area, it was a hard thing to dobut that will be on the 2nd june. And your levels are looking great - i am really happy that you doctor seems so set on looking after you - it will be interesting to see what my OB does this time around. I love him but he is very matter of a fact and i don't think i will get the extra ultrasounds etc so i may have to go to my reg doc and get the referral from her if i feel i need reassurance!
tm - how are you? hope you are feeling up and you are ok! i really hope this is your month! you don't seem to have been around...i hope it is because you have taken up some of that dancing.... please let us know how you are!
katie - hoping you have had a wonderful relaxing trip and that tassie was'nt too cold for you! We went in summer and had winter jackets on at the beach!I hope you and DH are ok also and that you've got through the last few days ok!!
hammi - how are you going???
ok! i hope i got you all! everyone take care! you will al be happy to know the dressing gown is on! its started raining and its too cold! thats my excuse and i'm sticking to it!
xx

[jen805]

Hi, Jo, thanks for the welcome! Good luck with your u/s next week, I'm sure you'll see a strong, steady I'll be thinking of you and your Jack on Saturday. I'm sure you'll find just the perfect way to celebrate him.

[Katiegirl]

Hi Everyone. I am back from Tasmania. Thank you all for your lovely thoughts and words in memory of Nathaniel. Last Wed ended up being quite a nice day - we got up early and went to the beach - the sunrise was not so great but I am still glad we did it. We then went to church for a 9am service and then straight to the airport to catch our flight. I think the day was not overly difficult was due to the fact that we had taken the time to remember Nathaniel and give ourselves the space we needed. Tasmania was lovely and it made me realise how much we needed a break from the everyday.

Today we had our 12 week scan and all was great news. The baby is measuring 12 weeks 3 days and had a good strong heartbeat. All was good and was a great relief. We now start having weekly scans with my ob until I am either sick of them or more relaxed.

Good luck to everyone else having a scan or test this week.

Jo - I will definitely be thinking of you this Saturday. I can recommend doing something special for Jack - even if it is just something little like lighting a candle - as I do believe this helped me. I still found the days leading up to the EDD difficult but I found I would have a good cry and then keep going - rather than it being the start of a deeper grief. So please take care of yourself and I hope your DH proves to be supportive.

I will write more later - thanks again to you all for being so wonderful.

[jen805]

Katiegirl--Glad to hear you're back safe from your trip, and that all went well. I think you definitely needed and deserved the break! Congrats on your 12 wk. u/s and strong I'm sure the weekly scans will help keep your sanity!

[Simba]

katie - so glad that the scan went well and that your time away was a positive experience - even if, as i'm sure it was, a very emotional time as well. i am looking forward to seeing your ticker soon... i nearly did one the other day then i chickened out! hopeless i know. i have my 12 week scan in 2 weeks so i think i will put one on. anyway all is well with me but bit tired so think i will drag myself off to bed now so hi to you all and hope that you are doing well and will do some more personals tomorrow.

[jo76]

hey everyone!
well, officially i got hit for 2 days straight with the worst nausea i have ever felt...to the point i vomited! Blah! I felt so disgustingly crappy after i last posted i am surprised i could function. The nausea has gone now thank-fully but i have the sorest throat now-so i really hope i am not getting sick or i'll be dragging myself off to the docs! I have lost a bit of weight which i am little concerned about as i don't want that to happen either. One of my friends who knows said that i always lose weight when i am pregnant at the start which i have never really noticed, perhaps due to losing Jack i am just trying to be more on top of what my body is doing!
katie - so glad you found comfort in your trip! and that all went well on nathaniels special day! I am really happy to hear about your scan! that is one of the really important ones so its a big boost for yu to have it go so well, although i am still nervous i am a little excited that i will be 8 and a bit weeks for this one on monday and then get another peek 4 weeks later for the 12week! I'll be shattered if my dates change backwards as the 8 weeks have already raced by! As for jack -i do have a candle from his service that was especially made for us through our celebrant. My other 2 kids have the same candle with their names on it also from their naming days so i will def light that. But i want to do something else so i am sitting quietly...waiting for the right inspiration to come my way. Maybe we're not meant to do anything but just go along our day...i'm not sure. I am usually so good at things like this for friends, just can't think for myself!
jen -thanks for your kind words re: jack and ultrasound!
barbara - hope you are going ok and feeling good! thinking of you!
tm - ??? really hope all is well!
take care everyone!
talk soon!