hi everyone!
Well, this sat (3rd may) is our turn to remember Jack, as that would have been his EDD. Really conflicting feelings at the moment which are'nt helped by battling a tiredness i have never felt before!I still don't know what we are doing for Jacks day - DH seemed so blase' about it last time I asked and its really ****ty esp when all of your DHs seem to have been so supportive and proactive in helping you all. I really am afraid he just won't get it if i do have a mini breakdown over the weekend. I feel quite horrible about the day right now so i don't really know what to do...i am hoping the right thing will just come to me and we will be ok on the day. I really want to get a new urn for his ashes so maybe that will be a good start!
As for this preg - like i said i am so tired its not funny! I have the day off today (thank-god!) and feel like i could spend the day in my dressing gown! I am trying to resist the daggy urge though! I have so much to do! I have my ultrsound next monday (5th) so it will be nice to have coming out of the weeknd for Jack and i think it will be something at least to look forward too. (although i am incredible nervous! I'll be 8 weeks so hoping the heartbeat is steady and strong for me!) I am still conflicted over this preg also. Want to happy, afraid to be...its like i don't want to allow myself hope and every time i go to the toilet i am looking for spotting which i hate but it all relates back to Jack and what happened there as it was so abnormal for me. But good news is i am peeing like a champion at night and all day so i figure that means this baby is fighting its way for me! its just hard esp when i went for the confirmation at the docs last week and she says "oh, the computer says you should be 38 weeks" i have'nt stopped thinking of that comment. What part of a flat belly did she not get! Quite obviously i was'nt and i got angry about it when i told one of my friends and she was furious with the doctor, purely for being an idiot! So that has been festering ...
ok for you guys! I feel like i have'nt been here for ages!
simba - hello! Glad all is going well for you! I really believe in you doing what you need to do and do what you feel is best for your body! If you need to drop hours or leave work sooner -do it!
jen - Welcome (for the wrong reasons), you will find incredibly supportive girls here! they have been my backbone many times! We did the drive right up the coast where you live last aug and loved it! Amazingly beautiful and i took a thousand shots of it all. We are over in the states very 2 years and at the moment are having major New York (our fave place!!!) withdrawals, we won't be going next year as we will have a new born but here is to a year after! keep dropping in, i agree we are here for a reason beyond our losses!!
barbara - wow - your dates truely are a chrissy /new years bub! wo-ho!And your ultrasound is a day after mine! Here is some hope for fab news for both of us to share!I have also had to book my 12 week ultrasound as they are all so busy in my area, it was a hard thing to dobut that will be on the 2nd june. And your levels are looking great - i am really happy that you doctor seems so set on looking after you - it will be interesting to see what my OB does this time around. I love him but he is very matter of a fact and i don't think i will get the extra ultrasounds etc so i may have to go to my reg doc and get the referral from her if i feel i need reassurance!
tm - how are you? hope you are feeling up and you are ok! i really hope this is your month! you don't seem to have been around...i hope it is because you have taken up some of that dancing.... please let us know how you are!
katie - hoping you have had a wonderful relaxing trip and that tassie was'nt too cold for you! We went in summer and had winter jackets on at the beach!I hope you and DH are ok also and that you've got through the last few days ok!!
hammi - how are you going???
ok! i hope i got you all! everyone take care! you will al be happy to know the dressing gown is on! its started raining and its too cold! thats my excuse and i'm sticking to it!
xx