wow, I am so busy at the moment. I check in on here everyday but don't always have time to post. I can't wait till February when all my study will be over and I can get my life back.
Katie: every time I see a message posted by you I get so excited. I was telling DH last night how we are all on tender hooks awaiting the good news and that you are our trailblazer in here. Showing us all that a happy outcome is possible. Can't wait to hear all about your little girls arrival.
Jo and Lan: ttc at last, it seemed like so far away and now the time is here. I am beside myself waiting to hear about your BFP's.
Rozzie: congrats on the wedding anniversary and I agree with your Mum. Take it easy when you can. You have a big few weeks ahead of you and I'm sure you'll be carrying around plenty of extra stress so rest up when you can. Your ticker seems to be on steroids. Feels like just yesterday you were only a few weeks PG and now look, nearly 20 weeks!!
Sue: I am so glad you were able to get in to see your GP straight away, and it must be comforting to know now that you have that option when you feel you need the reassurance. There is nothing worse than that feeling of fear that washes over you. I don't think anyone who hasn't been through what we have can understand but good on you for getting the reassurance you needed. Yours is another ticker on steroids. I love it
Tildy and Laney: congrats on the scans. It is such a nice boost in here when someone comes back from an OB appointment with good news. It gives me a real boost of confidence every time to see how well you girls are doing. Another milestone down for both of you. Yay!!
Helen: will be thinking of you Monday, you are so close to 12 weeks now. Make sure you rest up, sounds like you've been a bit crazy busy with taking care of your properties. I hope DH has recovered!!
As for me I'm not sure where to start...
I have had a shocking couple of weeks. I've been on the thyroid meds for nearly a month. The first few days I felt great and then PMS kicked in and it was the worst I've ever felt. I cried for nearly 3 days straight and was so sad about losing Charlie that I thought I was going to die myself. I just couldn't seem to pull myself out of it no matter how hard I tried.
DH wanted to check me into a mental asylum and my naturopath gave me all these anti depressants etc. It got to the point where I was feeling like 'hey why can't I just be sad that my baby is dead, stop trying to fix me'.
Anyway, i decided to make another appointment with my thyroid dr who had suggested I get my hormone levels checked. I had that appointment today and he said I'm low on progesterone so now have some progesterone cream which should help with the anxiety etc. I read about a lady who had 2 healthy kids, then a miscarriage, then a stillbirth and then another stillbirth. She went on progesterone after the miscarriage but they told her to stop taking it after 12 weeks with the next PG because the placenta is supposed to take over after that. She lost the 2nd bub a week later. With the 3rd PG she took the progesterone until 15 weeks and then they told her to stop again. Again she lost the bub a week or so later. The autopsy of her second bub showed hypercoiling and they put it down to that although said it wasn't conclusive because this can happen after the bub dies.
Anyway, her story sounded so much like mine, same symptoms etc. I spoke to the dr about it this morning and he said progesterone is required right through pregnancy and if your on supplements you shouldn't stop. He seems to suggest that is the reason for my losses.
So now I'm on this cream and I will be managing it so carefully during next PG.
Speaking of which I am finally at a point where I am ready to get PG again. I have spoken to my new boss and she is totally fine with it. So everything is perfect except for these bloody hormones. I am hoping they will be sorted out by Dec so we can ttc then. If not I really hope January. Part of me just wants to say what the hell, but I know if I suffered another loss down the track I would never forgive myself for not having waited a month or so to get things right.
I am so jealous of you Lan and Jo... Oh well DH and I will just have to practise for a bit longer. The cream is supposed to help with my libido so DH is getting excited!!
Sorry to have gone on but I wanted to make up for not having time during the week.
Love to all and belly rubs, baby dust and sticky vibes to all
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