Hi ladies!!

Teagz, I think all Mums of angels will find something to feel guilty about after their loss... I REALLY wanted a girl and was disappointed to find it was a boy, but I got over it pretty quickly and was happy again. Then we lost him and, well of course I felt terribly guilty- plus the feeling like a failure etc. It's easy to see rationally that we have nothing to feel guilty about but we still do. I really don't think though that God/nature/karma whatever punishes us for minor things like that when so many truly undeserving women have healthy babies that they neglect and abuse. You know you loved your baby with all your heart.

Well as for me, scan went fine, all measuring almost a week ahead. When I saw the doctor we discussed the birth. He basically said I'm a unique case (C-section at 22 weeks) and there was no data to judge my risk of rupture during a VBAC. He said that for a normal scar risk is about 1% and a classical can be as high as 20% and I was somewhere in between, but we don't know where!! I can have an ultrasound to see the thinkness of the uterine wall but this is not a reliable predictor of rupture. So then we discussed the risks to future pregnancies of repeat C-sections, worst case scenario if I get placenta accreta there's a high chance of hysterectomy being needed, but the odds of having it are only about 2%. So worst case scenario we get two kids and no more, best case we can have four which is what we want. The risks of VBAC though are rupture which could brain damage or kill the baby, I need a hysterectomy or I die... so I'll go for the 2-kids-at-least option I think!!!

I feel better having some certainty but I am disappointed I won't go through labour ever... the doctor said he'd do the op himself which is a huge relief as normally a registrar would do it as opposed to the chief high-risk OB. We also asked if we needed to do the antenatal classes if I wasn't going to go through labour as we had not enjoyed the VBAC class... he said he and his wife never did a class and they had 9 CHILDREN!!! wow.

Anyway that's me, doctor has to think about when to schedule the op, sometime around 37-38 weeks. Not long to go!!!

Love Rozzie