Teagz, I am so happy that you feel a little bit better, a good cry always works for me ! It's good to let all the emotions came out every now and then. And I'm so glad you've brought a little outfit for your next bub, I really like the way you think ! Positivity never goes astray !
PS You really make me laugh when you have a pick at yourself, you are a dag !! Vent all you want hun, this is why we are here !!!!
I also just wanted to let you know that even though you might not find out what caused Jayvan's chest to fill with fluid, the chances of that exact thing happening again are very remote. I have read something about that in the few books on miscarriages. So now that you're officailly TTC, bring on a BFP fast !!!!!

Rozzie, fantastic news about your bub ! I know what you mean about not having a VBAC birth, as when I fall pregnant, I will have to have a c section too, as the risk of the uterus bursting is very high. When I told my OB that I am a litle bit disappointed with that, he told me that it's much better to have the c section and a healthy take home bub, than risk the rapture to the uterus and risk the baby's health. Then he said to me, what do you think you had with Joshua ? And suddenly I though, you're right, I did have a natural birth with him which is such a blessing that I was lucky enough to have experienced it. It's just that I was so afraid of the actual labout pains when I first found out I was pregnant, that after Joshua came, I thought to myself, I don't care how long the next labour goes for, or how big the baby is, bring on the pain (with no drugs of course - you probably agree with me that after you lose a baby you think you can put up with just about anything the next time!). As long as my baby is OK, I dont care what I have to endure, at least I can bring home a healthy baby !
So I am still slightly disappointed that I will probably never experience giving birth naturally to a full term baby, but I know now that I will do whatever is necessary to just have a healthy bub.