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Thread: TTC after Late Loss/Recurrent Miscarriage/Stillbirth after the 1st trimester ~Jan #2

  1. #19

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    Hey everyone,

    Well I couldn't control myself and did a HPT this morning with FMU... needless to say it was negative, further adding to my gut feeling I am not UTD! Unfortunately I used my last test this morning and haven't gone to buy anymore so will be unable to test before tomorrow night... how sad, I will be forced to drink the margaritas afterall :frown:

    Spring - Hope those dogs are behaving themselves a little better tonight

    Jo - I think naming your angels after something significant like the birth stone for the month they grew wings is beautiful.

    Lynn - I know you have had a rough day, I am thinking of you I have been wondering all day what goes through peoples heads sometime, some people need to learn when to speak and when to shut up! Anyway, hope you are ok.

    Hi to everyone else, I am off to have a big plate of vegies... dietician's orders

    Mel


  2. #20

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    Hi Kerry I am so glad that you are feeling a little bit better with about your angels. I think your idea about naming them after their birth stone is such a wonderful idea. When you said in your post about your babies who weren't meant to walk but were meant to fly, you send a shiver all over my body. That is such a perfect way to explain it. I am so glad you feel safe enough with us to just be yourself. :hugs: sweetie

    Mel: Hey a BFN means nothing just yet. If I remember correctly you aren't due until the 5th so don't get too disapointed just yet. On the other hand, spoil yourself rotten for your B'day tomorrow and have those margaritas babe. I hope you have such a perfect day. I know tomorrow will in some respects be a day of mixed emotion but you deserve a wonderful birthday. Yippie, I love birthdays.

    Lynn: Big fat +ive vibes for you babe. I want nothing more for you. Are you testing yet? I know it may be a little premature but I basically test from the moment AF finishes (lol)

    Well I am going to make dinner. The dogs are still putting on a turn. I gave in and let them sleep in the ensuite last night. Don't tell the landlord. As soon as DH goes away they just get so clingy. I talked to him about it today and he said that given the fact that sleep is really important at the moment, let them sleep in the ensuite and then when he gets back for good they can go outside again. Cheeky buggers.

    Oh well, hope you are enjoying your veges Mel, I am going to have a baked potato stacked with Corn, cheese and any other goodies I can find in the fridge. Boring I know but I couldn't be bothered tonight.

    CYA
    Spring

  3. #21

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    Hi girls

    just a quick one I'll post personals later, back to school routine etc.

    Tess Im so sorry for you angel Thomas having to go, I hope we can make this time a little easier for you, the girls are wonderful with support and advice. Like always I wish you didnt have to be here like the rest of us, but I hope you find peace, comfort and a smile from these wonderful women.

    Me, Im not sure if I should be saying this and im sorry if I offend anyone but Im having a bummer of the last day and today, my baby went back to school yesterday. I didnt cry the day he started kindy but hay he starts primary school and I lost it (what the!) I went to the gym worked out hard came home and........nothing I was all alone. Today I should have been 20weeks......I think I thought that when he went back to school I would have something to look forward to but theres just nothing except tears, why is it still so hard? Life s*%$s sometimes. I never thought that I would be in place in my life I wanted three or four babies and look where im at after seven years I havejust one and 13 angel babies, and dont get me wrong one very precious monkey that Im so thankful for each and every day but its just.......well life is just strange.

    Im sorry for going on and maybe sounding ungreatful but I need to just get it out so when I turn up in the playground this morning I dont start again!!! And to top it off I said I would help out with tears and tissues morning tea for all the mums who babies start kindy........go figure.

    I hope you are all having a much better day then me and you can have a good old laugh thinking about the dumb mother standing there severing tea with tears!!!! I'll pop back later and catch up with you wonderful souls. xxxxx

  4. #22

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    MEL- HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABE enjoy your day, I hope you get spoiled rotten you deserve it. P.S Boy I hope this wasnt meant to be a secret!

  5. #23
    kerry Guest

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    Mel - happy Birthday 21 Again :wink:

    Dream - your not a silly mum at all. I cried this morning just driving past a school with all the little ones walking in for their first day. Besides you have had your DS with you to keep you occupied and not dwell for the past month so of course everything is going to seem more real once he has gone back to school. Does his school have a parents reading assistance / class help program? Tuckshop(canteen) duty... there are heaps of things you could do at the school to help keep you busy. Or even do something for yourself, I think as mum's we always put ourselves last in a very long list of things so maybe now DS is back at school you could use a part of every day to just do something for you.

  6. #24

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    MEL



    I hope you have had a really nice day getting totally spoilt.

    I know you will be out to dinner tonight but I just want you to know that I am sending massive birthday hugs.

    YIPPPIE for the Birthday girl



    Dream: You have every right to feel how you are, it is not ungreatful at all. I hope DS has a nice first day. I for example was a major dork and loved school so I hope he does to. Take care babe.

    Pop in later
    Spring

  7. #25
    clare076 Guest

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    Happy Birthday Mel, hope you had a lovely day.

  8. #26

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    Hi ladies, I hope you are all well.

    It's my first day back at work tomorrow, how did you guys handle going back?

    to you Mel, hope you have a great day!

  9. #27

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    Hey everyone,

    Thank you ALL so much for your birthday wishes I ended up having a really nice day, I did get spoilt rotten! I got lots of pressies from my work mates (including a scratchie from 1 girl and I won $20 ). When I got in this morning my desk was covered in streamers and a happy birthday sign, I got two huge boxes of flowers (gerbras - my fave) with balloons (one from a friend who moved to Brissy recently, the other from my family with a gorgeous teddy - that strangely looked pregnant...what the? - and a box of choccies). Got lots of text messages. Went to dinner with DH and MIL tonight and she gave me $100 (woohoo, bring on the weekend - yay, shopping ), got a card in the mail from my uncle with a JB Hi Fi gift voucher... And that is all on top of getting a bracelet on Saturday from parents, beautiful large frame from sis to put wedding photo in and ipod nano with accessories from DH. OMG, and I was dreading this day... what is wrong with me?

    Anyway...

    Spring - I had a card from Aust Post in mailbox when I got home from dinner so I think your pressie has arrived, I have the day off on Friday so I will go pick it up then... so excited!

    Lynn - The e-card was absolutely beautiful, it made me cry... but in a good way if that doesn't sound too strange, what you said in the card was so sweet and it meant alot to me, so thank you.

    Dream - I don't think you are being ungrateful at all, you are entitled to feel whatever emotions come up about anything to do with your baby (my mum tells me that your kids are always your "babies" no matter how old). Can I ask a question though? I might sound like a bimbo but does your sons primary school have kindy or is that what we call Prep? Spring was saying it is different in Brissy to Melb so I am thinking maybe its the same in Syd.

    Bailey - Good luck for your first day back tomorrow, I will be thinking of you. It may be hard at first but in some ways it can help you cope. Are you close with your work colleagues? Sometimes it is really good to keep yourself busy, but just don't pressure yourself to be "ok" or "back to normal" and just take it as it comes.

    Anyway, thank you all once again - I have had a very special day, and I have decided I would like to turn 30 every day

    Mel

  10. #28

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    Afternoon Girls


    Firstly a big thank you to you all for making me feel much better, needed to get that off my chest and you are all so supportive. It has helped.


    Mel Im so glad you had such a great birthday, it sounded wonderful I wish for you for every day to feel like this my love and not a dumd question, we start kindy here which you can be 4and 1/2 but DS B/D is in May so we held him back so he was 5.5 when he started so year 3 is primary here in NSW. He will be 9 this may........Oh no 9!!!!!!!where is my baby!! Your mum is so right I think even when he towers over me, he still be my baby...poor child I have visions of that Nutra grain add me running out to protect him!!!

    Clare Are/have the fires over there been close? I hope your copeing with work, how many more days? That boss sounds like a real %$#^ (you can fill in the blank!) Im sorry you had to deal with that but maybe this is the right decision....leaving! Hope m/s is easing up.

    Jo Thank you for all your kind words, and Im very involved in the school already it was just hard with all the routine and me expecting that I was going to be 20weeks when he went back to school....well you know what I mean. Hope your feeling well sounds like things are better for you. Im glad you have found some comfort in the naming of your angels sounds like a nice idea.

    Bailey Hope you first day back was ok, dont be to hard on yourslf, take time and go slow. Beening busy also helps past the time.

    Spring How are you? When's DH back from work? Sounds like those puppies have you round there little finger! And thank you for you words of wisdom, and dork no I also enjoyed school but for the sport and social side!!! but DS loves school, he want to be an aironautical engineer and plans to go to uni, so I hope this keeps up when hes a teenanger!!!

    Tess Hows your day going,Hope your feeling a little better.

    Lynn Take care me love. Thinking of you.

    Well I have found myself keeping busy for the last two days so things a better and all with the help of you wonderful women, my God im not sure what I would do without you so from my a big big big to each and everyone. I think im at day 13 today so we have just been bd every second day trying to catch that ever allusive eggie!! I didnt do the opks this month even though the presure of "thats it after this" Im trying not to add pressure......DH thinks my idea is wonderful every second day till we get that + or AF (or blood test next week!!) I have been reading that a relaxed uterus is more accepting of implantation then a stressed one (W/T) but i'll try anything!!!!

    I will pop back later to catch up with everyones day have a great afternoon.

    Nat x

  11. #29
    clare076 Guest

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    Hi Girls
    Not much happening in here today,

    Mel - glad to hear you had a lovely bday, sounds like you got lots of lovely pressies, I hope I am as spoilt next week. Yeah right, I asked DP what he was buying me for my bday, to which he replied "dont know yet, got plenty of time" had to remind him its next week so not holding out much hope.

    Dream - no sign of any fires for the past few days, but weather starting to heat up again this weekend so on needles again. I started taking that blackmores morning sickness formula this morning, which seems to have taken the edge of it. Thankfully.

    Spring - how are you and little bean? Are you booked in for your first scan yet? Any signs of m/s?

    Kerry, Lynn and Bailey - hope you are all well

    I have booked my next scan for next thursday, so hopefully bubs is measuring at least 9weeks. I am not going to pretend I am not petrified, it was around 9 weeks I started bleeding with Shelby and Max, so that as well as the worry of another chromosomal abnormality is stressing me out. Hopefully after thursday I can relax for a couple of days, before I start worying about the NT scan.

    Big hugs and kisses to everyone

  12. #30

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    Hi Girls

    Wow Mel you were spoilt!!! Sorry the pressy arrived a little late. I hope you like it. I am a big sucker for Birthdays, every woman deserves to be spoilt. In a more serious way though, it is a reminder how many friends and family love you. I am so glad that it was a positive day.

    Bailey: How was your first day back hun? I went back about a month ago and I was sick to my tummy with worry. Just remember it is ok to cry if you need to and if you feel like you need a break just remove yourself from the situation and have some quiet time to yourself. Unfortunatley this is usually in the toilet but at least you can have some privacy. Mel is right, don't expect too much of yourself. Just take it day by day. Do you have a close friend at work who you can turn to if you need to? Getting back to work was a really good distraction for me and keeping busy makes the days go a little quicker. Even though I was dreading going to work so much, it has actually turned out to be fairly positive.

    Dream: I am glad that you are feeling better babe. How is DS going with school? Go the dorks I reckon!!! Wow and aironautical engineer, very impressive. I am sending heaps of +vibes babe. Go and get that jiggy and catch that eggie

    Well me, I think I am having a bit of morning sickness. I wake up feeling really nauseous but can't get out of bed to eat quick enough. The funny queasy feeling continues until about lunchtime and then I start to feel better. It is like I am so hungry but I don't want to eat. I don't know if it quallifies as m/s as I didn't have it at all with Harry. Looks like DH may be coming home on the weekend. Won't be able to confirm until tomorrow which is a bit of a bummer. Oh well, one week down and only 17 to go. By the time he gets home I will be about 24 weeks so I am just hanging out for that day.

    Anyway, I am going to go and have a long hot shower (sorry water restrictions) and watch RPA. I don't know why I watch it because I cry every time.

    Kerry, Lynn and Tess I hope you are all doing ok. Pop in and let us know how you are going. Flowerchild if you are out there, just know that I miss you and hope that everything is ok.

    Lots of luv

    Spring

  13. #31

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    Hi Girls,

    Mel - Glad to hear you had such a great day, you seemed to have done pretty well in the prezzie department huh!

    Dream - I don't blame you for being down about DS going back to school. I don't know how I'll go when I have to send my little bloke to school. I've still got 2 years til he goes but I am already dreading it. Well hopefully you're feeling better now that it's almost the weekend. Have fun with the bd'ing this week and here's to your relaxed uterus

    Spring - Woo hoo on the m/s. I used to get the same thing, I'd get sick before I could even get out of bed and get anything to eat. I started keeping those pre-mixed milo drinks next to the bed snd just gulp those down before I even sat up. It helped abit. I hope your hubby gets to come back for the weekend. It must be so hard to have him away during this time. It must also be so hard for him too.

    Wow, I've had a big week. The lady from Sids and Kids called me on tuesday for that support group. It was OK, she just asked me about all the details of what happened etc. I didn't feel as comfortable talking about it to her as I do with you guys. I don't know, it just seems so weird to really vocalize it all and not just type it. Yesterday we had our appointment with the Geneticist to give us an idea about the chances of this happening again. Although they know what caused Asha to pass away, they don't really know why she had it. So they pretty much said it's highly unlikely that this is a genetic thing so the chances are small. So I guess this is good news. Aarghh! Work today. It was not as bad as I thought it would be. I guess what was good is that the office I work in actually closed while I was on leave so I went to another office within the same company, but it was a totally new environment with people I didn't know. I am positive they all know what happened cos no one asked why I had time off, so I guess everyone is avoiding it. I am actually glad though, because it was a little break from thinking about it constantly, and I too drained after the hospital stuff yesterday to go into it all.
    Just something the Sydney girls might be interested in that I heard today. My friend's aunt is a midwife and she said that the RHW at Randwick has almost finished a new part of their ante-natal department that is specifically set up for women that have had pregnancy losses or are at high risk where they can go to have extra monitoring and as far as she knew extra support. I don't know anymore about it than that and that it will be ready in about 6 weeks, but I will find out about it and let you all know the details as I get them. it will be interesting.

    Wow, I think that I have babbled enough for now. I hope you are all well.

  14. #32

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    Just a quick one till later,

    Bailey did you find an OB, I used Jan Duddley she is a t randwick and is the best, very kind understanding etc as well as exellant with care. I had a girlfriend who uses her and had placenta rupture if not for Jan both mum and bub would not be here. I only not use her now as I need extra effort over and above what she can do but I think Gavin Sacks also works out off Randwick I think he is at IVF Aust E/S and I can not begin to tell you how wonderful he is either one I would be very comfortable with.

  15. #33

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    Hi Girls

    It has been a little quiet in here today.

    Bailey: I can imagine how you felt uncomfortable talking to the Sids and Kids group but hopefully it works out to be a positive experience. It is also good that the Geneticist said there is very little chance of you having the same issues you had with Asha again. Harry had problems also, they can't put a name on it but he had single umbiliacle artery and lumbar hemivertebre (sp?) and out doctors / specialists said it would be like being hit by lightning twice. Well when you have been hit once you sort of get scared of playing in the rain. I hope you feel better since you appointment. I am also happy to hear that work was good.

    Dream: about what Bailey was talking about at the RHW, that sounds like a wonderful place but way to far for us. I have been doing so research about my ob and he is apparently the Obstetric Spokesperson for the AMA. I was impressed. Anyway, only 11 sleeps until I get to meet him.

    Well to all of you other gals, hope you are well and have exciting weekends ahead of you. DH is almost home so I am so excited. We are both totally exhausted but just being able to fall asleep in his arms makes it all worth it.

    I'll be back tomorrow to say hi.

    Luv Spring

  16. #34

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    Hey

    Not sure if anyone is around but I just wanted to get something off my chest. Mail arrived for DH yesterday and he only got around to opening it this morning. It was from the Queensland Government and it was only when he opened it we realised it was Harry's Death Certificate. I am angry that it took almost 4 months to arrive because it is the last thing I want to see at the moment. I remember asking for it to be addressed to DH because I didn't want to see it. As you can expect I got really upset

    Thats all, we are both feeling pretty low and sorry for ourselves so we are going to watch DVD's and eat choccies all afternoon.

    I will never ever receive the death certificate of any of my children ever again.... That is my mantra for today.

    Spring

  17. #35
    clare076 Guest

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    Oh Spring, I am so sorry hun, I second your pledge.

  18. #36

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    Thanks Clare

    So far I have downed a King size Cherry Ripe Mmmmmm and we have a packet of Malteasers in the fridge.

    We watched An Inconvenient Truth which was a real eye opener but probably a stupid choice because I cried my eyes out. Oh well we are about to watch Over The Hedge so hopefully that is a little cherrier. DH leaves at 9.00am tomorrow so just trying to make the most of my time with him. He won't be back for at least 2 weeks but by then I will be 9 weeks so that is something to be happy about.

    On a good note, I am continuing to have nausea on and off all day. It is really bad when I first wake up. I actually had a spew before work yesterday because I felt so sick. I know you have really bad m/s at the moment Clare so I don't want to trivialise it, but I am so glad I am finally getting some symptoms. I am almost getting brave enough to do a pregnancy announcement.

    I hope everyone is well and I'd love to hear from you all soon. I'm sure I'll pop in tomorrow.

    Spring

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