Aries - I am so proud of you. Stepping away for a while is a hard decision to make. I am so proud that you can put you first. Hope the house move isn't too arduous, but setting up anew can be pretty exciting. Good luck with your course.

Gigi - I have a fair bit of peace and zen at the moment. It feels like for days, but perhaps its only been today. Who knows? Like you I have decided to try and be happy in the moment. And you know, this moment for me, is pretty exciting, and really is full of hope. Sure something sad might happen, but I don't think that I should worry about what might happen, good or sad and just be thankful for now. And today, I can be.

I went to a bbq this afternoon with DH and it was so good. I felt normal, maybe not quite as socially active as the group but I didn't feel apart from them. Up until now, in groups I have felt separate and apart from people - usually defined by my sense of grief and bereavement. So it's a sign of the progress of my healing I think to feel normal. Well done me. DH is pretty happy about it all. Including that I wanted to go and stayed for over 4 hours, chatting and laughing.

I don't think I will always be able to find this level of zen, but it will be nice to remember that I could find it.

Sorry Chez and Beata or not saying too much more today. I am really tired after being such a social butterfly today. Thinking of you.