Chez - one of the many things I am thankful for is a genuinely caring ob. He has yet to say or do anything that has upset me - oh except at our first appointment when he told me I was miscarrying and what to expect. Not a lot of love during that consult, but hey it was my first experience with m/c.
It's good to hear about your success at work. It is so good to get a sense of satisfaction from work.
I am nervous about getting a cleaner - but the ob has suggested that I not take on too much, and this is one thing. But the idea of coming home on Fridays to a clean house, or waking up Saturday's to a clean house, is just perfect. DH would do it if I asked, but I don't want to. I will talk to HR tomorrow about my options at work. In essence what will happen is that I will go on unpaid medical leave. The job I do can't really be done part time, so it would mean a total shift in what I do. Not sure if the organisation can facilitate that for me. I have been so tired since Tuesday that not working has been welcome! Not looking forward to having to go to work tomorrow.
Gigi - any developments? Hoping you made it to the organic donought shop! Hope your stay in Byron has been blissfull.
I am glad that you get something out of your SANDS meetings. I didn't. It actually upset me and I felt out of place. My DH asked me not to go back because I was so agitated and upset after the meeting. DH normally doesn't bat an eyelid at what I decide to do and is usually "positively supportive". I think part of it was me, I don't talk in groups. But in that first meeting there was a couple there who were talking about their very recent loss. It was very raw for them and I wasn't ready to take on their pain. Also during the meeting another couple broke down and left the room. The facilitator went after them and because it's in my nature, I took over the role of facilitator because the first couple needed to keep talking and needed help to keep talking. So I suppose in a way I thought that I might have been able to contribute to the session more, but I didn't, and ended up taking on others pain. I just don't think it was a good fit for me. I got much more from one on one counseling and coming in here to BB.
I have lurked in other forums and I just don't get the same positive vibes that I get here in BB. Has anyone else found that?
Blessed - I tell you I love looking at that av. Everytime I see it I am reminded of just how beautiful Seth and Tait are, and how much they love you and guide you. Glad to hear that TAFE has started and is going ok. You must be so busy.
cmegelles - are you getting some of that wicked snow? I hoping both that AF arrives and doesn't come either.
Beata, if you're lurking. Still thinking of you. Shrove Tuesday is coming up.
Aries, Samcougar, Dimples - thinking of you all too With lots of love.
AFM - one day closer to my dream. I have got to go and do something about dinner. The m/s has given away to a real hunger. Better go satiate it. Take care.
I got my AF today, Booo. But it really wasn’t unexpected. I have had NO signs of pregnancy and with our previous I knew pretty early. I decided that am going to enjoy a glass of wine and some coffee this week as a treat.
I have decided for the next cycle not to do an OPK (a little too confusing and a little too much for me) but I will do BBTs, because I am a little worried about having an anovulatory cycle, and I want to know—and because they don’t really dictate when to have intercourse….which puts less stress on me and DH. With all of the reports of people who worry too much about it and don’t get pregnant until they just let it happen whenever I am trying not to worry and stress too, but I sometimes find it difficult to not be obsessive (I definitely have a type A personality).
A good friend of mine who was pregnant with me had her baby on Friday. We are going to bring them dinner tonight and I am a little nervous I will cry when I meet the baby. I guess we will see.
I hope everyone is doing well, and hopefully my next cycle I will have good news.
Again I am running around like crazy (I have a big presenation tomorrow to the whole department-including faculty I don't really know) so no time for personals, but I will check back soon.
cmeglles, I'm sorry the ugly witch has arived hun I'll keep everything crossed for you for the next cycle . I personally found the OPKs very useful as it really did take the guess work out of when to DTD. I came to realise this as one month I O'd on day 14 and then on another cycle it was day 17 When I had my FET in July last year, they told me to use the OPK from day 14, and lucky I had a hunch and started testing on day 12 as I O'd on day 13. If I tested when they wanted me to test, I would have missed my window of opportunity and would have had to wait out a whole cycle.
GL sweetie x
Big , big and lots of and for all my lovely girls in here
Gigi - Sorry you got AF.. That is good SANDS are setting up a sub pg support group.. Bonnie Babes on the Gold coast isn't really big enough for that.. Generally there are only a couple of us that go regularly and then another couple of us that pop in from time to time.. When I started trying again I spoke to Deb (who runs it) what wouold happen and she said that pregnant women are welcome to our group, but maybe if she new about a new lady/couple that wanted to come she would warn them that there would be a pregnant lady there. At this stage in my grief, if I was pregnant and knew it would make someone uncomfortable I probably wouldn't go, as I would feel they would need the support more than me IYKWIM.. We will cross that bridge when we come to it..
Chez - Thats great you are having your uni fees paid for.. I wish someone would pay for my course lol
Dory - Glad all looked good in your scan.. That's great the morning sickness has given way to hunger.. I was starving in my early pregnancy. Before I knew I was pregnant I thought it could have been worms lol! I found it really interesting what you said about feeling upset and agitated after going to a support meeting. I agree, I remember the day after my first Bonnie Babes support meeting I got a phone call from Deb (who runs it) to see how I was.. She explained that coming to a meeting and speaking about the bubs can sometimes feel like a pimple being popped.. You have all this build up underneath the surface, then it is released and although it is crucial to the healing, it is sometimes a bit raw after. I found this analogy really helpful. It's amazing how some people deal different ways. I think I took on other peoples pain in the beginning because I didn't want to deal with my own (if that makes sense). DP can't understand for the life of him why "A group of women want to get together and upset each other". I explain its not about upsetting each other, it's about sharing stories. I don't know why, but for me it has been a crucial part of my healing.. Anyway I'm rambling I hope that made sense!
cmeglles - Bummer you got AF.. I have been using OPK's and temping and it just confuses me more I think! Sometimes its nice to try and relax and just DTD because you want to not because it's 'time'. How did you go meeting your friends baby? I hope you were ok.. It's a hard time. Especially if you were pregnant together. Does your friend know how difficult this may be for you? Hopefully she is understanding and you will be able to take things at your own pace without her being offended.
AFM - Well my cycle definitely is regular.. I got AF on sunday 14 day cycles with no ovulation. I did OPK's every second day from day 8 (all negative)then day 14 BANG - Hello AF!! Even though I am not pregnant or ovulating, I am still relieved to have some sort of cycle! I see the natropath TOMORROW so maybe it will just be a matter of stimulating ovulation with herbs which may in turn lengthen my cycle.. Who knows?? Sounds too easy though doesn't it! TAFE is HARD!! I am only into my 2nd week and I am terrified! I need to be so self disciplined to study.. Unlike Cert 3, if I don't work study hard there is no way I will get through.. One day at a time!!!
Hi to Beata and anyone else I missed.. to everyone
I went to the natropath yesterday and she put me on multi vitamins, fish oil, iron tabs, fibre all from health shop, as well as the formula she gave me. I asked her what was in the formula and she said she could give me a print out but I am getting it e mailed to me instead.. It cost me a fortune, and I was thinking it's a lot of money to spend if it doesn't work, but hey if it doesn't work at least I will be healthier! (Plus I figure it's cheaper than fertilty specialists/IVF and they aren't guaranteed to work either!)
She didn't cut anything out of my diet just yet, but I have to keep a food diary for 10 days. Mainly because she wants me to eat regularly, as when I am not at TAFE, I can get a bit slack and not eat properly. She advised me to see a counsellor, as she thinks I may have emotions and issues from my past blocking some energy. I am not going to though, because in all honesty, I am comfortable with where I am. I have seen many counsellors over the years and have never really found anyone helpful.. Apart from that I just have to keep temping and I see her again in 4 weeks.. I really hope this works
So sorry to hear you lost your little one. If you would like to share your story there is a thread for that too. (Although I realise you may not be ready for that yet) Welcome to our thread, you have found a great place to come to for support when you need it. We are a great group of ladies Good luck in your TTC journey, I hope it's a short one.. Take care and I hope to see you around
I just wanted to add - this is my favourite thread. I am in a couple of others, but I think I like the intimacy we have in this thread. Thankyou, for that.
And I am sorry, feeling all mixed up, forgot to say hello to Blessed, Bubo and Cmegelles. Hope to hear from you soon.
Dory, I had Amelia's anniversary in my diary for Tuesday and will light a candle for her, you and your family. I have been thinking about you approaching this day and understanding that the lead up is often the worst. Whatever you decide to do and whenever you do it, will be perfect. I have decided with me to lay of on the deadlines...it takes some pressure off and i can do things in my own time.
Dory, i will think of Amelia with you on that day. It will be 2 days before the anniversary of when we found out DD was sick and dying. I feel the date of her birth approaching too and the pressure to have something planned. I know i will do something early, late or on time. I will do something.
CMV is Cytomeglovirus...or something to that effect. Similar to glandular and from the same family as your herpes time viruses like chicken pox and shingles. The word herpes makes me cringe. Not good but i will get through it.
Gigi1 - I am so truly humbled and touched that you would remember and light a candle for my Amelia. Thankyou. I will be thinking of you too, and your DD will be close to my heart. It must have been heartbreaking to receieve that news, and the pain, and fear and numbess that soon set in. It's like your world just stops, and never really gets back to being the same, at least that's what I imagine.
I know you'll do what is right for you at the time.
That virus sounds yukkie. ( I know pull out the big words). Hope you are managing. Hopefully your recovery will be speedy. I suppose with all of those symptoms, you probably just feel like resting anyway? I know what you mean about the word herpes, it just conjures up.... well unpalatable images, where is chicken pox sounds much more benign ( even though its misery when ou have it).
Good idea to take some of the pressure off. You need to heal, and I want you to be better real quick.
Dory - Thinking of you and Amelia. The firsts are hard. I found that sometimes the anticipation was worse than the actually day, but then I had an experience last year, around Easter time which I didn't see as majorly significant yet around the time these overwhelming emotions hit me like a ton of bricks and I truly wasn't prepared for it.. Kind of like maybe how you feel with the events leading up to Amelia's birth. You focussed so much on the actual day, not the events leading up to it.. I hope I make sense. I find it hard to interperet words into text sometimes!
Gigi1 - I am so sorry you are sick. Doesn't sound nice at all. Just concentrate on resting and getting yourself better. I like what Dory said; At least you can't be quarantined from us!
Chez - Sorry you got AF.. I find it amusing when all of you ladies comment on doing too much, working too hard etc.. I NEVER have that problem LOl.. I do as little as possible! Anyway, take things gently!! Thats an order! Lol. Hopefully the timing of AF is a sign of new beginnings.. I really hope its your time soon.. It's so hard everytime AF shows up..
Hi to Everyone else cmeglles, Bubo, Beata, Aries.... Hope you are all doing ok..
AFM - I have been on my herbs for 10 days.. I am on CD15 and NO AF YET!!! Nothing to get too excited about pg wise but obviously there has been some sort of change (even if it is a small change) in my hormones considering I was a 14 day cycle..
I have been doing OPK's but sometimes they are hard to decipher. On CD 9 I got 2 lines, but I was sure 1 was lighter than the other so not too sure whether it was positive or not.. I did another test on CD 12 and there was only 1 line, so definitely negative.. I have decided not to use them anymore (Didn't I say this last time???) because I just get too confused and I figure if we DTD anyway then I have nothing to worry about!
Apart from that excitement, we have to move soon, so I am trying to house hunt which is never fun and I am studying lots. A group of us from TAFE that I was also in the Aged Care course with get together and study. It's good because we quiz each other. I feel I learn more from that than just reading over notes or writing notes. Well Monday is my cleaning day, so I better get my butt moving!
Gigi - I am so sorry that you are sick. Good on you for listening to your body and going to get some tests done. So often I think we just soldier on when we have non-descript symptoms and put them down to the stresses of everyday life. It is good that you found out before O time. Take care of yourself hun and rest up to recover real soon so you can jump back on the merry-go-round with the rest of us
Blessedatlast - what great news to find that you seem to have responded so well to the herbs and vitamins already! That's excellent. I hope you have lots of luck with the house hunting - I know it can be a tough job sometimes, particularly while studying.
Dory - I will think of you and Amelia and your family tomorrow. I know what you mean about thinking about events leading up to the angel-versary. I have been doing that recently and ended up in tears just again last night. I didn't expect to feel this way so early - I thought it would be much closer to the date in March. I really hope I can pull myself together for our 1st wedding anniversary dinner on Saturday night. I would like to celebrate the good things and not let the ghost of grief hang over us.
to everyone else. I hope your Monday has been kind to you.
AFM, I have decided to cancel my pap smear appointment for tomorrow. I just don't want to risk an irritated cervix just before ovulation which is due Wednesday or Thursday. DH is away for work from tomorrow morning until Friday afternoon so I have booked a flight to see him tomorrow night in Melbourne, and then I go back to work again the next morning. It seems crazy but I just don't want another cycle to slip by without having given it a shot. Now I just hope that my body co-operates and Os on CD11 or CD12 as I have done for the last few cycles! Cross your toes and fingers for me please!
Chez - thankyou I like your sneaky plan. Pap smear can wait! It's funny about smear timing. I was due for mine this year, but when I was feeling up to it, and wasn't TCC , in one of my m/c appointments with the ob I demanded a smear. Seems it worked out for the best. No way I would consent to one now. Hopefully it works out for you with a BFP.
AFM - well today was my darling Amelia's first anniversary. 23 Feb 2009; 14:28; 455grams; 27 cms; 21 weeks on the cusp of 22 weeks gest, our brown haired girl. I can't and don't think of it as her birthday. That just doesn't work for me.
Today, wasn't as hard as I thought it might be. I was more affected leading up to today than on today. DH took the day off work and I am not working( one week of no work for me as of today!), so we slept in and snuggled ( no BD for me, way too scared) and then went for brunch and then a walk in the park and along the river. In the arvo we snuggled again, looked through our photos, shared some precious memories and listened to the songs we had played for the funeral service. In the end as sad as I am, the most significant memory for me today is just how much our precious girl was loved and how much she gave to us in those fleeting joyous but heartbreaking moments. I am so blessed to have been given such a precious gift. So today? DH and I honoured our baby girl by living, and remembering her. I had day reams of doing something more symbolic, but in the end, for me, it felt contrived and we did what felt right for us. Weird sometimes how the right thing just sneaks up on you.
Thankyou so much for all the love and support you've each given me. Thanks for reading about my day, it was important for me to share. It's weird, no one else ( family or friends) seems to have remembered, or if they did, they didn't say anything. It means a lot to me that you have each remembered and your words and support have really helped me through, every day, not just today. Take care.
_
Don't have a lot of time now, but I want to say hello everyone!
Dory-what a beautiful way to remember Amelia. Happy Birthday to her....(we are on a pretty big time delay here). It is nice to remember the love and joy along with the sadness.
Thinking of all of you.
I'll write more after I teach dance this afternoon!
I'll keep everything crossed for you for the next cycle 
. I personally found the OPKs very useful as it really did take the guess work out of when to DTD. I came to realise this as one month I O'd on day 14 and then on another cycle it was day 17 
When I had my FET in July last year, they told me to use the OPK from day 14, and lucky I had a hunch and started testing on day 12 as I O'd on day 13. If I tested when they wanted me to test, I would have missed my window of opportunity and would have had to wait out a whole cycle.
, big 
and 
for all my lovely girls in here
14 day cycles with no ovulation. I did OPK's every second day from day 8 (all negative)then day 14 BANG - Hello AF!! Even though I am not pregnant or ovulating, I am still relieved to have some sort of cycle! I see the natropath TOMORROW 
so maybe it will just be a matter of stimulating ovulation with herbs which may in turn lengthen my cycle.. Who knows?? Sounds too easy though doesn't it! TAFE is HARD!! I am only into my 2nd week and I am terrified! I need to be so self disciplined to study.. Unlike Cert 3, if I don't work study hard there is no way I will get through.. One day at a time!!!
to everyone 
Good luck in your TTC journey, I hope it's a short one.. Take care and I hope to see you around 
Bookmarks