TTC after Recurrent Miscarriage/Stillbirth or Loss after the 1st trimester SEPT/OCT07

[Mel1977]

~ Happy 1st Birthday Harrison - I hope you enjoy your special day in heaven ~

Spring, DH & Oliver,

My heart goes out to you today, I wish I could say something to make it hurt a little less but thats impossible. Just know that your little man is with you, whatever you may do today. He is and always will be watching over his family and sending hugs and kisses from above.

Love Mel, DH & Nicholas

(P.S. I was going to post this in messages for other member but because of how this website is set up now I find it nearly impossible to find anything).

[Mel1977]

Hi girls,

Kat - Im sorry you havent been feeling the best, and I really hope the infection clears up. You know I believe in "the plan" though so

Klee - How you feeling? Still a bit blah? How long is your Mum gone for?

Lynn - Thanks for chat, really helped

Jo - Sorry about BFN, but dont give up til the witch sings

CeCe - I like your way of thinking about Eli, and only failing him if you dont get through this. I so wish I could think that way, its much more positive. Maybe your chart is an omen - a good one!

SJ - Dont feel that you dont belong, you are so welcome here and I dont think anyone would want you to leave us. Everyone has different experiences, but it doesnt make any one person more or less important than another iykwim.

Ellie - How you feeling? Everything looking hopeful for a cycle before Xmas?

Hi to everyone else, I apologise if I have missed anyone - I should know better than to disappear for a few days, its too hard to catch up.

Sorry I havent been around, I have been really busy but also maybe not in the most positive frame of mind and have been wallowing a little, but...

...I am extremely positive at the moment - we have actually had a week where a few things seem to be working out. I got some work with a surgeon in the place I worked back in March, 1 day a week and will be working at home 4 days a week (just perfect ). We finally managed to trade in our car we have been trying to get rid of for a year and bought a new one - we picked it up yesterday afternoon and we love it. Its a 2005 VZ Commodore station wagon, really good condition, and its getting a 3rd row put in in a couple of weeks which means when we have a baby we dont have to stress about how we will transport them all YAY!

But the best bit is I had an app at Melb IVF yesterday and they said everything looks perfect, although the follicles need to grow just a little more so I have a couple more days of FSH injections but I can handle that, and they have schedule an egg pick-up for next Wednesday and then embryo transfer for Friday Then I will have the hardest TWW in my entire life! But if I get a bfp out it, every single thing we have gone through will be worth every second of it.

Anyway, I have gone on enough now so I will shut up

[jlk]

AF was due 2 days ago.

[Lynn]

Well anything is possible until the wicked witch arrives - I still have everything crossed for you

[Mel1977]

Is it possible you O'd later than you thought? 2 days late is encouraging? Maybe give it til Monday and if still no AF get dr to do BT.

[klee]

jo - what kind of test did you use? maybe wait a few more days before testing again, everything is crossed for you.
mel - wow thats fantastic, such good news on all fronts. just think you are now a step closer, how exciting. its all about the plan.
me - am feeling crappy today, have a pain in my back which continues around to the front, so its getting me a little down, although it is getting me out of housework so thats got to be good, lol. also a hell of a lot of cm, so not sure what thats about. and feeling sickly but i guess thats got to be good. mums only away for the week, but she's bringing back my sister and nieces so am looking forward to that. i'll text you later.
hiya lynn - so good to see you, i keep forgetting that i can actually post in the other thread, i guess i just feel so comfortable in here, that and maybe psychologically i am waiting to get over that first 12 week hurdle before i get settled in there.
hi to everyone

[CeCeSays]

Jo- keep your chin up hun and maybe test in two days? Im thinking good thoughts for ya.

Mel- how exciting for YOU!!! I never thought the words good folicles would be so wonderful!

klee - I had those wave like cramps with abby for weeks and weeks... used to freak me right out.. now I just chalk it up to her being my spirited child.

Sj our stories are very similar. I have most of it written down in my blog... I just moved blogs over b/c I was getting hateful responces... but its up again and in my sig. I hope you stick around for a long time... long after you have a bfp


Blessings,
cece

[Lynn]

Mel - It is all happening..............and you are one step closer, and every step counts. I know it is hard but keep remaining positive next week and you will get that magical BFP that you so totally deserve When I got your text I just couldn't wipe the smile off my face. I am just so happy for you :hugs: The TTC after loss is such a hard journey but adding the assisted conception only makes it harder.......so many emotions! You have come so far already - the initial shock of realising that you need help, you have overcome that and to be honest I don't look back and see how we conceived. All I see is that I am one step closer to my dream and it doesn't matter how it comes. And just remember they pick out the best egg and sperm so your baby is going to absolutely beautiful!!!!! Hang in there babe, the next 3 weeks are going to be sooooooooooooooooo long (have to be honest) especially the 2ww but remember I am here and if you ever need a chat or a pick-me-up I am here for you

[shereejoy]

I tell ya what, you ladies are the most beautiful bunch of women. Your messages to make me stay are just beautiful, I think you all from the bottom on my heart. I just can't believe what an impact you have all made on my life. I believe you were all handed these hurdles in life because you are all women that are so strong and amazing. All of your words were so inspiring to me and for that I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I would love to stay and keep chatting, thank you to each and every one of you.

Cece I don't have time to read your blog right now, but I promise I will, you have me intrigued.

Jo - I soo hope your bfn turns into a bfp for you. Best of luck honey.


We had a big day in Emerald an hour away! What an effort to go shopping with a toddler....

Well I took Lachlan to the doctor yesterday as he had high temps for 3 nights and 2 days. My hunch all along was teeth, but didn't think temps lasted that long with teeth, so I was best too check it out and yep he is all good! Just god dam teeth. But he hasn't had a temp in 24 hours now YIPPEE......

I even went to bed at 9.30pm last night, unheard of for me and slept till 8am this morning and could have stayed in bed too! And............................................... .................................................. .................................................. .... Lachlan slept thru, YAY!!!!!!!!!! Now that is probably the 5th time in 4mths that he has slept thru, so that is something to shout about!

We start swimming lessons next week again, can't wait to see if Lachlan loves the water as he did when we first arrived here in Feb07. I really don't think he will remember, but still loves his bath, so I am guessing it will be all good!

Also everyone around the town has been saying they can't believe how hot it is and it is not even summer........ Geez think we are in for a ripper! It is a hot place here as it is, great!!!

Well I am going to bed early again, yep you heard me..... I am such a night owl but am taking the opportunity to have sum early nights for a change, I am exhausted.

Love to all my gorgeous friends.

[jlk]

Hey all, just a quick one to let you all know AF has arrived I'm not in a real good headspace at the moment.

[shereejoy]

Ohhh I am so sorry Jo, you poor thing. Big hugs and kisses coming your way.

[CeCeSays]

jo-- don't have any good words for you and I don't think anything I say would help. But I wanted you to know I care about you and I am sorry.

CeCe

[angelicdragon]

hey Jo (((HUGS))) for AF. Day 1 here too but in my case I was expecting it.
Has anyone had trouble TTC then had a lap and tubes flushed and been able to get pg after? I am just looking for some sort of hope here.
I've had my cry for the day .. just feel so alone with it all and no-one I can really talk to. Nobody I know understands the feeling of loss not only for a baby but also the loss of fertility .. I just feel like I am facing the end of our TTC road and nobody understands the worry I am going thru, the fear and well.. just hard to explain. Maybe I am holding out for a miracle of news on Thursday from the lap.. maybe I am also building up so I am not to hard hit when I get the bad news.. I just dunno anything anymore.
Does this ever get any easier?
Sorry for the me posts lately.. just not in a good space lately.

Thinking of you all though and hoping to see some BFPs over ehre.
Jude

[Lynn]

Jo babe I am so sorry I don't blame you for not being in a good headspace right now. Take all the time you need but remember I am here if you need to chat

Judy - I am sorry that AF arrived :hugs:

[Ellie]

Hi Everyone
Still lurking...been feeling really down and hormonal...so have been a bit quite. I should be jumping out of my skin because the mole thing is all sorted. The dr has recommended that we should seriously think about making this our last IVF attempt as the affects the drugs are having on my body are getting a bit scarey. Anyway...had a visit from the little girls across the road yesterday...5yrs, 9yrs and 13 yrs...and they were chatting away about the kids they are going to have when they grow up...how many girls or boyts...the order they'll have them in...the best age differences and their names!!! I found myself sitting there with a huge lump in my throat praying that there dreams will come true and they never know the pain of loss...I have been so affected by their conversation I couldn't even go to our other neighbours little boys 2nd birthday today. The thought of seeind little kids and haapy families seemed too much...DH and I have been fighting all day and have only just 'made up'...I'm sure we are having a delayed response to everything that's hapened over the past months...somedays are just hard hey? Tomorrow will be ok...but where is AF...CD 40 tomorrow????? Sorry for the vent?
Hope everyone has an uplifting week filled with great news xxx

[angelicdragon]

Ellie I am so sorry for your hard day hun. It is hard facing lost dreams and seeing babies and young children.

Klee I can truly understand you waiting til 12 weeks. I think all of us do. We can't live through what we have without some fear and trepidation.

Sheree I thought you were up north QLD way? Emerald is in Vic? I hope Lachlan continues to be ok.

Jo hugs for you and I hope AF is not treating you too harshly. I am about to head to town and hoping we are back before I make a mess as this AF is a bad one

looks like I have to go
bye til later
Jude

[CeCeSays]

tested today... 11 dpo. But ff says I am triphasic. liar liar! can someone seriously kick me? I am out for this cycle aren't I? I did get a really impressive pink evap line on a dollar tree test. But it was WAY after 10 minutes. I am making myself nuts. someone kick me.
i wish I had the self control to stop the self torture.

I think next cycle we will use the preseed and do the smep plan again. woo hoo.

To make matters worse, I saw our old OB at the store and he tried to hug me. I mean what would make him think that after everything he caused, a hug would make me happy?
wow, I am in an ugly place. sorry ladies.

CeCe

[klee]

jo hon so sorry to hear, would expect nothing less then you being upset. i don't know what to say as i don't think anything could help, i am here for you if you need to chat, huge cyber hugs hun.
judy - so sorry af came too, even though you were expecting it can't be easy either. i don't know much about fertility issues so sorry i can't help. mel might be able to help? i guess the lap can only help though, hopefully by giving you an answer,
sheree - so glad to hear you are going to stay.
ellie - so good to see you back, sorry to hear the stories of your neighbours and their innocence, there was probably a time where we were the same you know, how difficult it must have been for you. i hope your knee is recovering well and that your doing ok. cd40, and still no sign of af, any tests?
sb - hon sorry i didn't reply on sat i wasn't overly chatty, but what you said totally made sense.
i'm sorry for my little burst on saturday, i didn't think before i posted, my head has been a little all over the place, i realise this is a late loss/recurrent loss forum, i meant the 12 week thing in that this time if we get passed the 12 weeks i have a feeling everything will be ok, sorry if that hurt anyone, my apologies again. anyway i am going to try not to whinge just a little stressed. hugs to everyone