Barbara - arrrggghhh I could scream with rage on your behalf - I have a helpful phrase for friends and family that doesn't start a big row - but gets the message across... when they tell you to basically get over it, one suggestion is ..."You "get over" a cold, chest infection or a bad mood you don't GET OVER the death of a much loved, dearly yearned for part of your soul that lived and breathed with in you, you merely learn, with time and the support of loved ones, to deal with the incredible sense of loss and sadness"...or the other option, that I really wanted to say...that is guaranteed to start the row of the century.... goes something more like this...(in a screeching and hysterical tone) G*(% F&^%*ed What would you know anyway you selfish, self centred moron"
I would have loved to have shouted that at a few people but of course never did. You would be amazed at the similiar things that have been told to all of us in BB by well meaning friends and family. Basically I think people NEED and WANT you to get over it so that THEIR lives can return to normal. But just as you said - our lives aren't normal anymore - we pretend for everyone else and one by one find our way to BB where the new normal becomes so important. Where people have lived through better, worse, similiar experiences and still find time to offer support and friendship to others (no matter what their own personal suffering may be) - in a helpful, encouraging and positive way. I do remember once telling a member of my family that I found it heartbreaking that the only people that even attempted to feel what I was feeling was the group of people at BB that I'd never even met.
Thinking of you....sorry for the soapbox...

Hi to everyone! George

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