TTC after Recurrent Miscarriage/Stillbirth or Loss after the 1st trimester ~ OCT 07

**klee** · October 17th, 2007, 05:15 PM

have a fantastic few days ladies, hope to come back to some good news.

having an emotional afternoon, thank goodness for a few days off.

ciao for now everyone

**Auntie M** · October 18th, 2007, 02:04 AM

howdy everyone!
SB- so glad you can see and feel that you are right and need to do what is best for you - rather than what your sister thinks is best for her. you and your dh first is the best idea.
Klee- most folks aren't half as funny as they should be.
Judy- hope you are busy!

dh and i set up a bench carved by a local artist last night. it is for Yeti with little bears and wild roses climbing on it, with his name in the middle of carved tree branches with bear cubs. it is so lovely, but i just cried and cried b/c i would so rather not have a bench . . .

**jlk** · October 18th, 2007, 08:51 AM

Hi all, just popping in to say hello!

Auntie - your bench sounds beautiful!

**angelicdragon** · October 18th, 2007, 11:47 AM

AuntyM the bench sounds to be just perfect to remember Yeti

Klee enjoy your break away

Come back all relaxed now won't you.

hugs all
Judy

**Ellie** · October 18th, 2007, 12:15 PM

Auntie M - Your bench is such a beautiful idea...I'm just so sorry you need one..if you know what I mean.

Klee - Relax and enjoy for all of us!

Hi to everyone...just cruising along here...had a fasting insulin blood test yesterday to see if I need to be on metformin for next ICSI cycle and ended up in bed with a migraine at lunchtime...a day later and I'm still hungry lol! AF finally arrived too so that probably didn't help much either...otherwise...doing ok...but I have to stop reading the preg threads that I was in...I don't post but pop in to see how everyone's going and seeing their tickers is getting too hard...why do we do these things to ourselves???

**gks** · October 19th, 2007, 05:57 PM

hi all...
Auntie M - love the bench! What a wonderful person to put their heart into making something like that! Not so long ago I bought a mother cradling a baby statue...I was so sad I plonked it in the garden near our front door...in some ways it feels a bit....uummm...I dunno a bit overt...I'm thinking now that something more subtle/personal/not sure of the right word would have been better or maybe I needed something inside...a bit closer.... I just love the bench idea!
Klee - I had another failed attempt at personals from the office computer...wow...do I feel silly finding my feet in the forum these days. That wacky prego brain has stayed long after the angels!!!
To answer your question from a few days ago - we didn't get any answers after our last sad loss. The complication/guilt/sadness is related to our decision for DH to have a vasectomy after our daughter was born. We had an early pg loss after she was born. I had already had two mc before and I had lots of bleeding/clotting and scares during both pg with earth angels - I was told on several occasions it was "just a matter of time" until I lost them both. At an emotional time we decided that we were incredibly lucky to have the two we did and I didn't feel strong enough to cope with any more mc and the emotions attached to TTC. Within months as the hormones levelled out I realised what a terrible mistake we'd made. And the short version is DH had a reversal four years ago - and I've been watching the toilet paper ever since...I decided to try and not be scared of whatever lay in front and that we had to live our life with hope not fear. Then we lost one at 12w and our little boy at 18w. I'm still so pleased we made the choice to keep trying...as we all know...the days are long, the waits are anxious, but as Mel once said - What's the alternative? Not trying....as all of us know - it would be easier to fly to the moon.
In my dark days I feel like it's punishment for decisions made...on my good days I think I'm being presented with opportunities to grow, to become courageous and it's just part of what will become one hell of a "what we went through to hold you precious one" story for the future.
We'll see ...
Hi all - sorry for the lack of personals...big hugs to all
love George

**Mel1977** · October 19th, 2007, 08:16 PM

Ellie - That means you are on track to have the cycle before Christmas right?

I have to admit I dont read many threads re pregnancy or babies, so I really cant blame you there. You have to protect yourself

Georgie - Sometimes I say such wise things

I love that, I hope I can have one of those "what we went through to hold you precious one" stories one day too... such a positive way of looking at it, and I really hope it happens for you :hugs:

SB - Congrats on laptap! Does that mean you will be on over the weekend? Now you can download messenger

Klee - Enjoy your long weekend and

for Monday, Joey will be fine but I still send you the best of luck all the same.

Auntie M - Yeti's bench sounds beautiful, what a great idea!

Hi to everyone else.

Sorry just a quickie, DH and I are gonna spend some "quality" time together

**Auntie M** · October 20th, 2007, 04:12 AM

howdy everyone.
Georgie- i like the sound of your statue, but can relate to being "overt". i guess not for others - i like to make others think of Yeti as much as possible. i put Yeti's bench where i like to go and rest and think, so i can seek it out when i want to. your story makes me want to reach through my computer and hug you, dear. what a journey you are on. that guilt/courage cycle is a damnable trip, so familiar. you aren't being punished, it just isn't possible. you and the other ladies here are so good hearted it just isn't possible. it's just that **** happens and life isn't fair.

Ellie- i'm so sorry for your trials and wish so hard that i could say something meaningful. i can give you a cyber-hug, though.

Mel- hope that "quality" time is fun too

_______________________________
Auntie m
Sweet Baby Yeti stillborn March 16, 2007 @ 39 Weeks

**CeCeSays** · October 20th, 2007, 02:24 PM

hello lovely women!

Just wanted to pop in and spread some love and good thoughts your way. Its a few days until O for me so we have been a bit busy. I think I have come to terms with not being pragnant by my due date. I know that must sound so trite to most of you. I'm sorry.

Yeti's bench sounds just lovely and very tasteful. I keep thinking about getting something to have some physical tie to Eli. Just cant yet.

Mel- just a couple days until I blow out my candles and make a big wish for you. I am praying for a very fruitful outcome this next week for you. (pun intended-- again, sorry)

The rest of you-- I am ever so grateful to know that I am not alone in this wonky sometimes terrible journey. I am thankful for each of you... and your tickers.

Hugs,
Cece

**jlk** · October 22nd, 2007, 08:55 AM

morning all,

how is everyone?

not much going on here, so hot on the weekend, took the kids to an athletics carnival yesterday. It hit 38 degrees! YUK!
I'll be back later on to do some personals

**gks** · October 22nd, 2007, 12:04 PM

morning to you all too...
Hi Jo - that's a hot day for an athletics carnival...it was even hot in Melbourne (that's saying something!)
Cece - It's not trite at all to want to be pregnant by your due date - I understand exactly how you feel - I had two due dates this year (17 June and 26 September) that clicked over without our little angels. So when AF arrived earlier this month I wanted to scream the house down. For me it was about just needing to have a little bit of hope return. If it's not too personal when is your due date? I hope you have lots of lovin surrounding you.
Mel - thinking of you every day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Klee - Hope you're travelling along beautifully and that you had a lovely break. I'm really looking forward to hearing how you are going - don't leave out any detail - nothing better than some happy news!!! Good news is catching...
Auntie M - I made a big decision about the little statue - I've moved it so that it's nestled among the trees - I'm happier with that now - it's a bit more private. How are you feeling ?? I just hope you're having the dream run.
Ellie - special hugs to you - you're doing a brilliant job and your courage and strength spurs me on!
Angelicdragon - hope you have had the Do Not Disturb sign on your door this weekend!!
No news from me - I've gone a bit nutty and stocked up on the pg tests - although I'm only day 21 - I did a test (negative of course) even though it would be too early to show I just can't stop myself from doing them...every month I really really really expect to see a positive...and the annoyance at a negative gets me every time.
Strangely, it's making me more determined, not less
George

**Mel1977** · October 22nd, 2007, 06:02 PM

Hi Girls,

Just checking in on everyone - sorry been so scarce lately, alot on my mind.

Jo - Your brave taking kids out on a 38 degree day, although really us adults probably whinge more than the kids do

CeCe - 3 sleeps isnt it? I am so hoping you are my

charm!

Georgie -

for you this month. I really hope you get that extra line you have been waiting so long for. I know what its like being a HPT junkie - aaaah the cross we bear

Klee - How is ya cold ya poor bugger? Back to work tomorrow, well if your feeling ok that is.

SB - How ya going there? You havent been around for a few days, hope all is ok? Any feelings on whether you caught the egg this month? Been thinking about you, if you need anything... well you know

Hi to everyone else

**Auntie M** · October 23rd, 2007, 02:26 AM

howdy everyone!
CeCe- doesn't sound trite at all to have wanted a pregnancy by your due date. perhaps this next cycle will be the one, though. hugs.
Georgie- keep that determination up!
Mel- thinking good thoughts for you.

got our first snow of the season this weekend, 10 inches. it is a good kick in the pants to remind us all that we haven't gotten ready yet. busy busy busy.

**gks** · October 23rd, 2007, 08:22 AM

MEL

just popped in to say that -

**Mel1977** · October 23rd, 2007, 08:37 AM

Thanks Georgie - only 2 sleeps to go.... feels like 50

**jlk** · October 23rd, 2007, 08:41 AM

Mel - the 2 days will go really fast! (for us that is! LOL) Your right about the kids, they didn't even comment on the weather it was just us adults.

AuntieM - I keep forgetting your in a different season to us! LOL! how are you feeling?

Georgie - how are you?

S/b - where are you hun? everything ok?

hello to anyone i've missed, hope your all well!

**Mel1977** · October 23rd, 2007, 08:46 AM

Jo - hope you have dropped a few good hints for a decent pressie

**klee** · October 23rd, 2007, 09:10 AM

morning ladies, haven't had a chance to read up so will try and do some personals later but just a quick update from me, joey p was nestled nicely in there heartbeating away at 158bpm, just a few days smaller than dates but not too much. it was all very emotional, have a bad cold and not likely to see out much of the day but just wanted to let you know.