hi all...
Auntie M - love the bench! What a wonderful person to put their heart into making something like that! Not so long ago I bought a mother cradling a baby statue...I was so sad I plonked it in the garden near our front door...in some ways it feels a bit....uummm...I dunno a bit overt...I'm thinking now that something more subtle/personal/not sure of the right word would have been better or maybe I needed something inside...a bit closer.... I just love the bench idea!
Klee - I had another failed attempt at personals from the office computer...wow...do I feel silly finding my feet in the forum these days. That wacky prego brain has stayed long after the angels!!!
To answer your question from a few days ago - we didn't get any answers after our last sad loss. The complication/guilt/sadness is related to our decision for DH to have a vasectomy after our daughter was born. We had an early pg loss after she was born. I had already had two mc before and I had lots of bleeding/clotting and scares during both pg with earth angels - I was told on several occasions it was "just a matter of time" until I lost them both. At an emotional time we decided that we were incredibly lucky to have the two we did and I didn't feel strong enough to cope with any more mc and the emotions attached to TTC. Within months as the hormones levelled out I realised what a terrible mistake we'd made. And the short version is DH had a reversal four years ago - and I've been watching the toilet paper ever since...I decided to try and not be scared of whatever lay in front and that we had to live our life with hope not fear. Then we lost one at 12w and our little boy at 18w. I'm still so pleased we made the choice to keep trying...as we all know...the days are long, the waits are anxious, but as Mel once said - What's the alternative? Not trying....as all of us know - it would be easier to fly to the moon.
In my dark days I feel like it's punishment for decisions made...on my good days I think I'm being presented with opportunities to grow, to become courageous and it's just part of what will become one hell of a "what we went through to hold you precious one" story for the future.
We'll see ...
Hi all - sorry for the lack of personals...big hugs to all
love George
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