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Thread: TTC after Recurrent Miscarriage/Stillbirth or Loss after the 1st trimester ~ OCT07#2

  1. #19

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    Naomi you are kidding aren't you? Are you the god-mother? I have never heard of having to dress in theme for a Christening. When our children were christened the god-parents and grandparents just wore nice smart clothes like you would to a church do like that anyway.
    As for not appropriate to put up pics. well!! I have Annabelles picture in a frame above my computer in my corner of the loungeroom. I also have her in a different picture as my desktop pic on the PC. A friend (aged 64) told me if I had Annabelle as my desktop pic I should also have my other children but I replied I can look around anytime and see them but I can't just look around to see Annabelle.
    I have made cross stitch name plaues with angels on them and sent them to a few ladies around the world I have got close to and in all cases they have put them up on their loungeroom wall or their own bedroom wall. They are a reminder that they have a child and that child was born on 'whatever the date is' and is in Heaven, but they are still their child and the parents are still parents. We also run a Mothers Day card exchange even for those who have no living children because as a mum they were still pregnant, felt their baby growing and kicking and then had to give birth. A silent birth is still a birth.
    Annabelle was buried wearing an heirloom Christening Robe that MIL had kept for years. Tash put a small teddy bear in with her, Nic put in a chocolate abr caleld Heaven, I put in an Eeyore soft toy with rattle I had already bought for her and my best freinds 12 yr old son put his small Bible in with her. I wrapped her in bunny rugs and lay her on her side like I was putting her to sleep in her bassinette. Then the lid was screwed shut.
    Once her brass plaque arrived for her grave we went down while it was laid down and I was actually allowed to be the one to lay it and glue it in place.
    So many memories and I have rambled again.
    I am so sorry any of us have to be here and in the situation of TTC again or hoping with a new pg and all the worries.

    Hugs
    Jude


  2. #20

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    Judy, you can ramble all you like hun! Oh & I'm in the 2ww!

    Naomi - I know what I would tell your sister! Wear what you brought I say!

    we didn't have any clothes to keep from Storm as the hospital didn't have anything small enough, but when she was buried she was wrapped in her sisters bunny rug!

  3. #21

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    Judy, thanks for reading my blog. Sad thing is, I was Labor and Delivery nurse for years until mom had her stroke. You would think I would have stood up for myself better. But I was so lost and numb and in that place... you know the place I mean... there aren't words created to name it.

    Jude, your post made me cry. You are all so amazing.

    As for pictures of your angels and where to hang them.... no one should tell you a damned thing about how to honor your angels or honor your loss. Its not the flu.. not something we ever get over.

    In fact, I remember each baby I helped deliver that had already flown home. Years before we lost Eli or I grew to adore and value each of you, I cried with your sisters, our sisters. Not a fun club to belong to, I guess, But I am honored to be amongst such amazing moms as all of you.


    Blessings to you all!

    CeCe

    PS: I am in the 2ww too.

  4. #22

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    Have just read through posts quickly- have a bit to say and not much time
    I am trying a new approach
    I love telstra- they are going to connect my internet really soon becasue they are so organised- so good at customer service and they are the quickest most efficient company in the world. Lets see if that helps me get connected soem time this century!!! LOL Still waiting- so i am still trying to stay off work comp- but this is getting long and drawn out and my patience is thinning!!! ARRGGHHH

    Well i got a faint line yesterday morning- one of my famous we need i microscope to see it but its there lines. ONly day 28 od 30 something day cycle- so i have decided to wait a few days before testing again in hope it gets a bit darker. I am much calmer then the other month- and i am really hopefull they will just get darker- but you know me anything can happen. Yes i am getting the same feelings as last time- not imaging them just trying to stay relaxed!!! NOT EASY!!!! BUt i do feel better this time around. My head feels like it is still on my shoulders not flying aorund the room!!! This is a good thing!!

    So ladies i need loads of sticky vibes and anyone with a connection to telstra puhlease put in a good word for me!!!!! (JUDY i may pm you... i will wait until i can actually be connected first thoug- then i am sure i will need Dh's help- especially coz mine has played with my settings!!! )

    Naomi_ AAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH
    Your sister has issues!!! She sounds so much like mine (although have to hand it to mine she does all the hands on stuff- but i am sure she does it with her nose in the air and i bet she changes herself after she has changed a nappy!!!) I feel for you love- i would just not go myself. I just missed my nephews 1st birthday and you know what- i havent felt bad yet- it wasnt what i needed at the time (especially as i got my faint line that morning- i would have been a nervous wreck!!) And your life is about you- not her. Big HUgs dear- and tell her that before you can get over loosing your babies she needs to get over the carrot shoved up her arse!!! Thats far easier to remove than your pain!!!LOL sorry, get carried away some times!! LOL

    OK ladies- must start work now- i will be back later

    Counting down the days till i have internet at home... i cant wait!!!!!

    Love KAtti
    xoxox

  5. #23

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    Kat-- serious serious sticky vibes... go line! go dark! go line! go dark! Man , you are a super stud... I would be wizzing on anything that didn't run away. I will tuck in sticky prayers during Abby's bedtime prayers (she makes em last forEVER) I don't know why I think this but... (intro to crazy cece) I think prayers said by children are the most powerful kind. I know I am daft... but at least I'm cute too.

    Hugs to you and everyone!

    CeCe

  6. #24

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    Jude
    I am God mother to one of my neices (she has 3 girls who are all being christenend together and each of them has 4 godparents - see what I mean about "an event"??) The "theme" relates to the colours they are wearing and I have been told to wear pink I guess so I won't clash?? I really am not a pink p[erson so have decided to wear grey (matches my mood) and I figure it goes with pink so I will "complement rather than clash".. As I said though there is plenty of me so finding said garment is not as easy as it sounds!

    N

  7. #25

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    kat - :stickyvibes: hon, sprout, snuggle in there and keep giving mummy a darker line, look forward to hearing some good news.
    just a quick one from me, my nephew is going in for his skin graft this morning from his tea burn the other week so am a bit pre occupied, i am also just about to tell my boss what is going, cause i figured no time is a safe time this time round, better he knows earlier, just in case anything happens in the next few weeks, i will try and do some catch ups later in the day.

  8. #26

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    Default Hello Gorgeous Girls

    I have a few moments spare so i am back!!

    Thank you for all your sticky vibes and prayers- i think they are working- i am running to the loo alot and i am feeling VERY hungry and "funny" still trying to keep my head on my shoulders though, i will be testing again tomorrow morning. ( i did one in the middle of the night last night and it came up as nothing so it put me off doing one this morning) but i guess my levels probably hadnt kicked in yet (which ever ones they are that are there in the morning) i guess as long as AF stays away i am counting myself happy, and the line will only get darker the more days i leave between testing!! POSITIVE THOUGHTS KATTI!!!

    KLEE Good idea telling your boss- Will be good for him to know you may be a little emotional etc too. I know i am telling mine right away for the same reasons. Hope your little nephew dances his way through his skin grafts!!

    NAOMI i think i confused your sis with CeCE's- (about not doing any hands on mum stuff)- i still agree that she has a carrot stuck up.... but any who- i think you should stick with your dress and maybe just accessorize in pink- like have a pink bag, maybe a pink flower for your hair or on your top like a brooch thing or something. Pink necklace etc. After reading your post more carefully- i am also a bit upset at your mum and the rest of the family- why do you have to keep the peace???????????

    Also- i have a picture of Zahra that my Grandmother painted in a frame on our shelf in our Kitchen lounge dining area that anyone who walks into our house see's, it is right next to her urn (a silver childrens money box, its Noahs Arc with Animals and stuff) plus cross stiches and other bits and peices. It is important to my DH and i that she is where we are most of the time. It was a big thing for us to bring her home and now she sits proudly on display for all to see. And so she can see what is going on too. I have never had anyone make a big deal in a bad way that she is there- i have only had people be genuinely interested and say she looks like a Princess and say nice things about her. It is important for us mums and dads to have the precense of our angels aound us i think, and also to let other ppl know that they are never forgotten.

    I still get so amazed that other people who have never been through this can still feel right to judge how you want to acknowledge and remember your angel. There is no hand book for the right or wrong thing to do- if you want memoriblia around where anyone can see it- then i say put it out there. Maybe it will bring home to your family that you are still effected by what has happened and while they can put it in the back of their minds and try to forget about it- that you CANT and YOU DONT WANT TO! You want to rememebr your angels and they should respect that.
    And i get the whole ":you should go to counselling it will make it all go away- talking to other ppl who have been thorugh it doesnt help just makes you more sad becasuse you are sad for them too etc bull S$it from my family- but hey a counsiller aint bringing my babies back and the thing that has helped me more than ANYTHING IN THE WORLD is all of the ladies in here. Stay strong Naomi- we are here for you and we arnt going anywhere!!!! BIG HUGS!!!!!!

    JUDY Hey sweetie- i will be pming you soon!!! Apparently i have to wait for them to switch something at the exchange and then i am all set. I have my own modem (which they arn't too happy about!!!) so once that is done i will be on the phone to your DH for some help!!!!


    I mentioned a few things i have for Zahra- but mementos i have are her bonnet and things that she was wearing in her photos and blankets from the hospital. We bought her a new pink jumpsuit to where to keep her warm before she was cremated- but i ended up leaving her in that. She was wrapped in a new pink blanket and we put a few of her pressies from the baby shower(strangely enough a Eyore toy ?!?) and a few things for her brother in her coffin with her. Plus some photos and things from us. I took a little while to organise the funeral (had days where i just didnt want to make plans- but i didnt want anyone to do it for me) so i didnt see her between the hospital and the funeral- i kind of wanted to but i didnt. I knew we had set out her coffin so all they had to do as lay her in there which we trusted they did nicely. Shane made the coffin so we had it at home to get it all ready then took it in the day of her funeral for them to place her in. It took awhile to get the ashes- but as soon as we did we went shopping for an unconventional urn- a childrens money box to keep her in. I dont think i could bear to cast her ashes away- even though for some people they can see it as feeing her spirit- i want to keep it close for a while first. I just had an absolutely horrid thought- who will watch her when i die?????? Who will keep her little urn??? I guess who ever has me in one next to her. What a sad sad thing to have to think about. It never ends does it???

    Well better do some work cant wait til i am on here in my own time!!!!!!!

    LOVE KATTI

    Hi Jo, georgie, Auntie m and anyone else i have missed!!!! You will all be sick of me when i finaly get this on at home!!! I wont miss anyone!!!! LOVE TO YOU ALL!!!

  9. #27

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    Morning all!

  10. #28

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    Katti--- um has it been a couple more days yet? Have you POAS? Do you need to pee right now? Think warm running water... bubbling brooks... ice cold cola... swimming...

    OK now I have to pee. Hugs, Love and serious sticky vibes sent your way.

    CeCe

  11. #29

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    Quote Originally Posted by CeCeSays View Post
    Katti--- um has it been a couple more days yet? Have you POAS? Do you need to pee right now? Think warm running water... bubbling brooks... ice cold cola... swimming...

    OK now I have to pee. Hugs, Love and serious sticky vibes sent your way.

    CeCe

    ROFL

    Seriously though, sending losts of babydust your way Kat!

  12. #30

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    Did one this morning- got a neg. No more peeing for me till i am late!!! Faint lines and negs do my head in!!

    Will be testing again thursday.....

    Love ya all!!!
    Katti]
    xoxoxo

  13. #31

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    Hi there girls,

    just popped in for a quick hello, some new faces I dont know but to you all a big hello I will be back just need some time to catch up with both getting back into the swing of things and all the posts! Had the best trip ever but now just want to hoiliday all the time!!!!!

    Hope your all well.

    lots of love Nat xx

  14. #32

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    Welcome back Nat!

  15. #33

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    welcome back nat, good to have you back, look forward to hearing about your trip and what your future plans are. take care of yourself.
    kat - hold on honey, i can feel its going to be good
    hi to everyone just having a bit of an emotional afternoon, will come back in tomorrow when i am feeling a little better, and do catch ups then. thanks though cece you made me laugh a little

  16. #34

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    howdy everyone.
    Naomi- too bad you couldn't get someone to READ one of those books. but if they won't it is because they don't want what is best for you, but what is best for them (i.e., you forgetting and going back to how you were before). that hurts, and i'm so sorry. i am hopping mad, though, about not letting you remember Ethan how you want to. that burns me up. you do what you need to do -- you are the MOM and they are standing in your way. how do they think you will heal? by shoving your real emotions under a rug? THAT never goes astray. and WTF on the dress for the christening?! sounds like too much work to me. i'd do something that would torture anyone who asked me such a thing. i'd show up in pink saran wrap or a rented cinderella dress. they would never ask again. or full on black for respect of Ethan (you can rely on emily post for that one) and a spring of pink flowers for your niece. i've got a "theme" for your sister . . . how about giving a **** about someone other than herself? sorry, but i'm mad as a hornet. i'm so sorry that your family can't be more understanding.
    Judy- good on you for keeping Annabelle's memory the way you wish to.
    Kat- i think about Yeti's ashes too. i bet i will keep him with me forever, i just can't see letting him out in the world by himself. so i'll likely ask to be cremated with him, and then we can be set out into the world together. that seems right to me.
    CeCe- LOL re the whizzing on anything that doesn't run away. and the daft but cute comment. you keep me smiling.
    Klee- good luck for your nephew! what an ordeal.

    __________________
    Auntie m
    Sweet Baby Yeti stillborn March 16, 2007 @ 39 Weeks

  17. #35

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    Hi all!

    katti- I still feel in my bones that you are with child... hang in and hang on. I am praying for ya.

    Naomi-- so I had a thought... find a flowing sheer pink dress (gag) and some seriously loud dark skivvies... like a bright deep purple thong and bra... so she will be super happy you conformed... UNTIL the pics come in and there's your butt and boobs in all thier glory... I triple dog dare you! hugs and love sent your way.

    klee- sorry you have had an emotional day hun... you are in my thoughts and prayers.

    AuntieM- I like the idea of being set free with Yeti... brought a tear to my eyes... totally beautiful.

    Love to everyone!!!
    CeCe

  18. #36

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    Just a quick one to say thanks to everyone for your support last week. We are going ahead with another cycle this month so here we go again...

    Take care everyone

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