howdy to everyone.
Lynn- a guide book for family and friends of those grieving a baby's death -- what a great idea. i wonder how it could be distributed. perhaps through the hospitals. if i get one started, i'll send it over to get other ideas. yes, i sooooo want some noise in my house (other than me crying).

Klee-- i get the same feeling with my sil, she came to check on me twice when i was reading alone in the house and my nephew was sleeping in a bedroom and everyone else was outside. she wasn't checking on her son, she was checking on me. i guess because she thinks everything will be healed if i have another baby, she figures i might just replace Yeti with her son. i wish it were so easy to get rid of grief. i also used to be able to keep my feelings in check without even a thought -- i was on an even keel all the time. now i cry in front of people and get angry without any control. it makes others uncomfortable, but that is their problem. i just need to get the feelings out.

Kat- i'm sorry you're missing support from your family. stick with your mom to help you make it through. it is so difficult for others to step past their own concerns to see and feel your pain. i know i am much more compassionate that i used to be . . . .