Hi all. Had to poop in and say hi, what a time for us all.

Its so hard isn't it. The last time we went to see my sis, I had had a REALLY bad week. I broke down while i was doing the banking for work, a lady i hadn;t seen since loosing Zahra had seen me a called out, "you lost the bump, where is the baby???" and basically, i had a mental breakdown in the middle of town. I was surrounded by loving older ladies, but it was still abit embarrassing. this was two days before we were goingto see the fam for my sisters birthday. I got there, and i just wasn't ready for cuddles with HAmish, but my sis FiL thrust him into my arms. It was hurting DH to see me holding a baby that wasn't ours, he knew how much it was killing me. When iwent to hand him back, my sisi fil, said. "dont you want to see your nephew, you hardly ever spend anytime with him, i see him everyday. You take him." and he just didn;t get it. He knows we have lost evry child we have tried to bring into this world, and he couldn't understand how much it hurts. As far as he is concerned i should be over it and it shouldn't have any effect on DH. It ended up causing a few probs by the end of the night and we haven't really seen them since. I am not too upset, i dont really get along with my fam. They only seem to care about me if im pregnant. When im not they never call or invite us anywhere, but as soon as im preg and a baby might be here, they all jump on board and want to be our best friends. They drive past my house to visit my other sis and her baby and dont stop to see me and DH. It is abit sad. My mum is fantastic though. She makes up for them. Tahts why this time i dont think i will even tell them for as long as i can.I dont need their fake support.
Well enough from me. I better do some work.

Hi to all!!! Take care, i might be back later!!!
katxo