Mel - so good to see you back I hope that this plans works for you and very soon you will have your bfp. I'm sorry that it won't be before Nicholas' first birthday. I hope you are feeling better soon. Thinking of you always, big :hugs:

Kat - I am sorry that you had a baby thrust into your arms. It really should be up to you whether you want to hold a baby or not. I'm sorry that your family only want to see you when you are pg. Losing a baby is something you will never get over. You have lost 3 precious bubbas and they are always in your thoughts. No-one should expect you to get over it. It will never happen. Big hugs to you babe

Klee - I hope you have managed to get rid of those cranky pants! How are you feeling tonight? You need to do what is right for you. If you are not ready to be around other babies then that is fine and if you are not ready to sit down with friends, then don't. Just do everything in your own time. You need to look after your emotions first. Take care This rollercoaster ride that we are on is full of different emotions and they can pop up at any time and sometimes without warning. You are entitled to lose it whenever you want. Sometimes we don't know why we do, but we do and that is ok :hugs: