Hi everyone,
awww big hugs to Lynne and Spring. It is really really difficult negotiating in law relationships sometimes. I truly understand your hurt Spring and Lynne.

Lynne it sounds like your MIL has some boundary issues there. It was really not okay to contact a health professional on your behalf - and I am really surprised that they took the bullet and contacted you. Maybe your MIL just doesn't know how to help and maybe she is a "doer"and that is why she did what she did. It still wasn't the right thing but maybe that's why? Some folk find it really really tough just to sit with someone else's pain - it is so very common a complaint amongst grieving people. Outsiders feel "it's time they moved on". Often this is born from their discomfort with sadness, grief and death. I know this doesn't make it any easier to deal with. Perhaps next time she offers her unwanted advice you have a pre arranged "statement" you can give her. I know I did this with people who would continually offer unhelpful advice. Something along the lines of " the grief I feel at the loss of Cooper will always be there MIL - somedays are great and others are unbearable. This is a process and one that I will move through in my own time, with my chosen support. I would really appreciate if you would respect this..." Perhaps you could phone Bonnie Babes or Sids for kids and ask for some brochures to be sent to you about grief and grieving. You could give them to your MIL so maybe she will understand a little more... I am sorry Lynne. I wish I could give you a big hug in person so know I would if I could. Keep leaning on those who understand.

Spring, This is a big dilemma. One I empathise with. I will tell you a little of some of my story in the hope that it will help you. When our first angel died my MIL told me it was obviously a sign that Ihad had enough children. I was shocked and just couldn't believe her comment when she understood just how much I wanted another child. It really hurt me and that comment often springs to memory and makes me feel sad. My MIL is a bit of a piece of work and due to her comments we haven't told them of our other two baby Angels - I knew that I would hear comments that were not helpful and would serve to hurt me. To protect myself from that we made the decision to keep our babies to ourselves. Of course as you know they died without ever being known to their grandparents... Due to other reasons between my dh and his parents he has not heard from his parents for some time. However, next pregnancy we will not share the baby until it's born - easier for us because DH parents live in country victoria!

I understand why your DH wants to share the news with both sets of parents (we didnt' with subsequent pregnancies we only told my side - simply due to the hurtful nature of my MIL therefore we protected ourselves from comment...). However, maybe you need to talk a little more about this Spring. Perhaps put on hold telling anyone until you feel a sense of resolution about this? It does sound like you have a lot of concerns about her respecting your need for keeping Lil Spring a family secret for the time being. It also sounds like you are concerned about her making inappropriate comments. That is something that has the potential to cause problems for you and your sense of wellbeing.

I am thinking of you Spring and I am hoping that you and DH can come to a place of unity on this one. Just know that it is a really tough one. Lots of love and hugs...

Me, well the Baby Dance Fest has begun and I have very strong ovulatory pains (ON BOTH SIDES!!!! ) today. So I am imagining ovulation will occur tonight or early tomorrow. I pray that we catch those eggs this month - all of us. We deserve it!


Hi to Bailey and Mel - you girls can chat!!!! I hope you both have a beautiful weekend.