I'm sorry this is an extremely selfish post - I dont have it in me to read all of your posts.

Wanted to let you all know that we have failed again this month - AF arrived this morning I have not idea what is going on, she wasnt due until Monday and I really did think there was a great chance I was pregnant this month... as if! I cannot stop crying, to the point where DH has had to take the kids with him to an appointment he has. I dont think I have it in me to keep going, I feel like its all wearing me down to a point I just cant handle. I just pulled myself out of the "big black hole" and I am scared that after today I am going to fall back down. I want to know how much mkore I am expected to go through - as if it isnt hard enough buring my son, now I am going to celebrate his 8 month birthday in a week and I cant even get pregnant.

I am so angry at life and myself, and I just hate everything!