The Church doesn't sound as if it is acting in a very christian manner. I don't know what to suggest as my church does not require someone to be an active church goer to be baptised - My family certainly do not attend church on a regular basis, generally only around easter and christmas. But we are still believers and still raise our children in the faith (and ensure they have a good religious education). Going to church on a weekly basis is not a sign of faith or belief IMHO.

I would encourage you to seek out a minister of your faith (although not nessecarily at that particular church) and discuss (all) the issues with them and seek counsel.