I'm sorry that this church has not supported you when you need it. I urge you to write that letter because if the church does not acknowledge where it has left people unsupported then it cannot improve on this situation.

Are there any other churches in your area you could go along to and see if you feel at home? If you find one you like then speak to the minister and discuss what has happened. You may find a new church more than willing to baptise your DD and welcome your family into their community.