Is this rude ? ... Wedding ... Couple asking for money as a gift !!

[Antheia]

We are going to a friends' wedding in June and they have asked for money to be put in a 'wishing well'. they have lived together for a while now and do have everything so i dont see a problem with it. i am assuming they will use it for their honeymoon or similar.

[Shanti]

DH and I never mentioned a word about presents or money or anything.... we don't believe in 'asking' for money or presents, but rather just the guests attendance was important to us. We're set up, have everything we need and we think it's a bit rude that people ask for money let alone a present.... whatever just happened to getting married and if you got a present or whatever it was a bonus!!

It does make it very difficult especially for those that can only afford $30 or so.... because I think many ppl would feel embarrassed at the $ amount they are giving whereas if it's a present they can hide how much they've spent iykwim.....
Good luck I hope it works out for you i dont really have any advice!! You could go against the grain and buy them a present of your choose, that way you can spend whatever you can afford and they don't need to know how much you spent. Just cos they ask for money doesnt mean you have to give money kwim??

[AngelPunks]

we asked for money at our wedding, we had an african bowl (that I'd bought for mum in africa when backpacking & it was given back to me after mum died) for people to put their envelopes in. We did also ask for gift vouchers from one of our fave stores (which we got).

We had our wedding at my brother's place, but it was still expensive. DH's dad bought the alcohol but I paid for the rest (I used the last chunk of my inheritance from mum for it).

Friends gave as much (or as little) as they could afford, one family with a baby on the way gave us $40, which was as much as they could give - that touched us as much as (if not more) than the few hundred from others - because we knew it was from the heart. We did give them it back threefold when bubs came along a few weeks later - buy buying them stuff that they wanted but couldn't afford for their baby (more along the lines of "I wish we could have x for bubs but it isn't essential"). Our best man couldn't afford anything more than a box of chocolates for us and that was the most amazing box of chocolates DH & I have ever shared - because it was given with love.

It is the thing that is done nowdays, it allows the bride & groom to get what they want with the money - without having to go around a shop and do a gift register (which you usually end up putting stuff on it that you wouldn't use much - just because you have to put something down in a range of prices).

Travel agents now allow you to deposit into a "register" for the bride & groom - I know I gave for a friend and it helped them be able to afford to go around europe for 6 months.

We used our money to buy some furniture from a few different shopes, then the rest of it we spent on our investment property (ok the trip to see the investment property when it settled & a small "honeymoon" at the same time).

When we got married, I had all the "stuff" as I owned property and had been living there for about 5 years and DH was living with me by that stage.

[Nadine216]

We asked for money too ... little poem included And here its not uncommon at all. I have never heard that you can ask your guest to pay for their own reception, but an open-bar is standard in the "middle-class" weddings here.

We have been living together and had all the small stuff, what we really wanted was a stove and a washing machine (top-loader) so we took all our wedding money and bought a great stove and washing machine and had some left over for honeymoon expences. Fun. We did not judge ppl that gave only R50 or less. We apreciated every cent.

I prefer to give money as a wedding gift. We usually give about R 100 - R 150 (OMG that is about $13-$20 talk about stingy!!! ), depending on what we can afford. Here it is quite a bit of money. I would hate being the guest that gets her "gravy-boat-gift" stashed away in the closet, only as a remindeder of what a crappy gift it was, kwim??? I'd rather give some money for them to throw towards something bigger that they really want, but can't afford.

[PinkPalace]

HI smiles

Well here is my opinion from a girl who had a greek orthodox wedding and reception and also a wishing well asking for monetary gifts.

We didnt mind if it was gift or money or nothing and we clearly stated that.

I did not have money pinned to my dress as my husbands family was not from a region that did this practice. Instead we had gold coins thrown in the air during our wedding dance and all the children ran to our feet to collect the money as we dance (supposed to make me fertile to make lots of good greek babies)....

It is pretty common practice. Myself i love shopping for gifts - and especially for july weddings as you get the end of financial year sales.

And honestly i had gifts of $35 - $1000 from individual families and we didnt judge them at all - i think if you are judged by the amount of money you give then they arent really your friends to start with.

I think $50 is a lovely gesture and your friends would be grateful you attended more than anything.

As for the honeymoon comment posted... i still find please put money into this bank account for our honeymoon comments in inviations rude.

I actually got one for an ENGAGEMENT PARTY asking us to put money towards their honeymoon.... i was extremely offended by that!!! lol