We asked for money too ... little poem included And here its not uncommon at all. I have never heard that you can ask your guest to pay for their own reception, but an open-bar is standard in the "middle-class" weddings here.

We have been living together and had all the small stuff, what we really wanted was a stove and a washing machine (top-loader) so we took all our wedding money and bought a great stove and washing machine and had some left over for honeymoon expences. Fun. We did not judge ppl that gave only R50 or less. We apreciated every cent.

I prefer to give money as a wedding gift. We usually give about R 100 - R 150 (OMG that is about $13-$20 talk about stingy!!! ), depending on what we can afford. Here it is quite a bit of money. I would hate being the guest that gets her "gravy-boat-gift" stashed away in the closet, only as a remindeder of what a crappy gift it was, kwim??? I'd rather give some money for them to throw towards something bigger that they really want, but can't afford.