Babies Born April 1st - 15th 2008 #1

[Fire]

Steph, that's so frustrating, isn't it? Ci pulls that on me, too. That time of day nonsense eventually wears out on its own as night sleep gets more intense with maturity. I roll over and rest until it turns from happy chatter to whines that he wants attention. Sometimes that means another 20 mins rest/sleep for me. At that point, I can feed him back to sleep or "bedrock" him (I hold his hip and shoulder while he lays on his side and gently rock him until the whinging stops and from there he puts himself to sleep). But occasionally, he won't sleep (not often though), such as two days ago. I tried everything but he was up, yet by the time we got out of bed it was 7am. I have made sure our room is a cave though. Light doesn't get in until after 6am. He's easier to settle in the dark. It ebbs and flows, and I try to go with the flow until he matures. It does happen, even though we feel we should do something to speed it along.

I don't like that you have to struggle because your DH doesn't like the gurgling. Cos like, he's got a baby now - welcome to hell, and hold onto your hats, it's gonna be a wild ride! Stay in bed, love, and he'll adjust (they all do ). The person who goes to work needs to realise that it is just as hard to stay home with the kid/s, if not harder (I've done both, and it's much harder at home with kids, no question!), and we'd also like to be able to roll over while someone else takes the "noise" elsewhere, but time to put his big girl panties on and deal. (that's a phrase of a friend of mine and i've always loved it )

[Fire]

oh, btw - EARPLUGS!!

dunno what we'd do without 'em in this house. the one without the kid sleeps with earplugs (AND a noisy fan going) and only for emergencies like a house fire can the one with the kid disturb the resting one!

so early in the morning, maybe your dh can don his plugs and you can rest guilt free. if he whines about them hurting his ears or something (like my dh) still rest guilt free cos they have an option, it's not our fault they didn't use it

[bellelass]

Ah Janine, once again you put a huge grin on my face... Big girl panties... hehe. I don't know, I don't think I can just tell him "tough sht." He's so good to me, he works long night shifts at a warehouse (uber stimulating and SUCH an addition to his CV) and goes to uni and does a fair bit of Lila/house. He's had to sacrifice as much as I have for the baby. I've only had him get up with Lila once, I usually try to shield him from the "worst." Sometimes I REALLY wish we had a sofa couch in the study for just such occasions. I dunno... He was the youngest and the only son, the apple of his mother's eye and a bit spoiled to be honest and I can't help spoiling him too. I'm kind of rambling around in circles here and its only loosely related to baby so I'll go now... Hope you're getting a little sleep at least.

[Nettie]

SG - thanks! I've looked her up and will now look out for her during the coverage! Go Kobie!!!

Steph - ha ha ha - sometimes you need to be able to do a bit of interpreting on this site! I'm a grammar & spelling nazi so sometimes I really have to bite my lip... Just a perfectionist Capricorn here!

Nothing much to report here. Just wanted to say 'Hi' to everyone.

Got football on tomorrow (soccer to the uninitiated) - which is my single social outing without DS. Looking forward to it! Sometimes DH brings DS down which is nice too! Weather's a bit dodgy at the moment to do that though - will wait & see what the day is like.

Must dash - sounds like he's waking up!

[Leyla]

Shoegal - Have fun in the big smoke!

Steph - So sorry that Lila's decided to mess nights around! Don't you hate that? They are so unpredictable. Just when you think they have settled into a routine, they go and change their minds!

Fire - How is Ci gong? Any improvement yet?

Nettie - Jack LOVES getting nude too. He gets so very excited when we undress him for his bath, or change his nappy. Loves being able to kick like mad. He is going to love summer when it is warm!

It's been very quite in here!

We are going OK. No improvement in the sleeping through issue, just rolling along as normal. I have been attempting to get Jack to sleep in his cot for the first part of the night as he is fast outgrowing his bassinet. Last night he lasted in the cot until 4 am, which is quite an improvement. He is usually in bed with me by 2 am. We have him in one of those tetra beds inside the cot, so its not such a huge shock to him, but he will outgrow that soon too.

Anyhow, off to grab a shower while I can!

[Butterfly_Princess]

Hey
Im finding all this so hard Isabell refuses to sleep, fullstop. Nothing we try works, and if it does, its by fluke. I really feel like im missing something.
Isabell rolled yesterday, twice, tummy to back, i was so proud of her. I want her to show daddy but no such luck.
Well thats all i have time for.

[Sharon19270]

meg I notice when Oliver is 'over tired' it is so much harder for him to go to sleep and it seems like he is fighting it, they key is to watch for those first signs of tiredness which can be sucking on fists, not making eye contact, that first grizzle, I know there are more, but those are the main ones for Oliver, keep your chin up, you are doing a fantastic job.

[Butterfly_Princess]

But thats the thing, even when i get them early, she STILL doesnt go to sleep.

[Sharon19270]

I know it's hard but I think you just have to keep persisting, put her to bed, when she starts screaming, get her up and settle her down, then start again, it sounds like she is just scared that she is going to miss out on something. Maybe someone else here will have some suggestions for you in the morning. Once she is asleep though, does she generally stay asleep (especially at night)?

[Butterfly_Princess]

Once asleep at night, she sleeps right through til 4am earliest 6am latest, then one more feed, then sleep til 8 or 9am. Im thinking of getting a hammock.

[Fire]

meg, do you sling her to get things done? you poor thing, that would be so hard. when you've fluked it, what happened? i suppose you've tried repeating any flukes that got her to sleep.

[bellelass]

Its interesting that our previously good sleepers have all decided sleeping is for jerks. Maybe its a developmental thing? Lila's never slept through since I put her in the cot. Night before last was a shocker, down at 11, up at 2am til 5am and back up at 7am for the day. Yesterday dh let me nap but I was too tired to nap. We took her to an outdoor show last night and she was great, I thought maybe she'd sleep last night (honestly how is she getting by with so little sleep??) but no such luck. sometime around 7am i got up and was crying and resigned to another day of being exhausted. Dh got up and took her from me and put me back to bed. So good to have a huge stock of milk in the freezer for times like that. Now I feel better, sorry for the whinge.

We're getting 4 month vax tomorrow. Last time she was grumpy and slept heaps so maybe just maybe...

Thinking of you all...

[Fire]

My previously crap sleeper is doing well, so it must be opposites week . Last feed at 6.30/7pm, next feed at 1am, then 3/4am then usually a 5.30 feed but sometimes not. that first 6 hour stint still has me engorged and I risk my fertility/period coming back. I know this sounds ridiculous but i would rather he wake at 11/12 than 1am. i can't sleep after midnight anyway, he has me trained to short sleeps. I wonder if i'll ever sleep all night again!

he has 4 naps a day, the first and last ones are sorta short, like they won't last much longer and he'll consolidate them all into two good naps. the middle two naps are from 1 to 3 hours long, depending on the day. i'm trying to transition him to being comforted in the rocking chair instead of this ridiculous bouncing on the fit ball.

he just screamed for an hour and a half, non stop. second day in a row of this after nap crying jag. he's sick, but this seems more like pain. it's a very looooooong hour and a half, lemme tell ya.

We've also graduated to the ergo sling. Finally. He's so big that he fits into it now like a six month old, legs around my waist in front. I sling him on my hip for short shopping trips too and he is good with it. I get a lot of looks and even got pointed at today. I feel like a babywearing advertisement so it's good. I tried the back carry but he's still a bit little for that so I'll put that on hold.

[mgm]

hi everyone

a brief visit - too tired to write much. dd did a 4-hour stretch last night but it's the first time in a while that she's done that. at least i now have hope she may do it again!! naps are brief these days - she seldom goes more than half an hour but is often tired when she wakes up. can't resettle her for the life of me though.

had mchn checkup - she has grown 9cm in under 2 months so at least i know all that feeding's doing something good...

steph good luck with vax. i still haven't done the 2 month ones - was waiting for dd's cold/cough to get better but have now given up and will do them this week.

meg when you say she doesn't sleep do you mean during the day? does she doze off at all?

hi to grubi, sharon, leyla, nettie, fire, shoegal, beatrix and anyone else i've missed.

[jenh30]

hi again

I was just wondering how everyone was going with the transition to cot. Isabelle is so good at night I'm scared that it all might change when i move her from our room. She goes to bed around 6.00-6.30 and then wakes up around 7.00-7.30, i know..its ridiculous right? i really really dont want things to change
Also had anyone managed to fix this whole catnapping business during the day? is there a way of doing it without leaving them to cry? my girlfriend keeps telling me that i should just let her cry, that she'll never learn blah blah blah, but im not really into that. Im amazed that im ready for her to leave our room so early, james was moved (DH choice, not mine...there were tears from me ) at 8 months. its amazing how different my two babies are/were..not sure if its me or them thats different though. i think im a lot more relaxed this time, with james i had no clue whatsoever.

Jen

[Butterfly_Princess]

Yeah, day sleeps are a nightmare, night sleeps are a dream.
I dont know whats with it. I mean, after rocking for a good while i can get her to sleep, but then im stuck with her in my arms, one sudden move can wake her (and usually does) and she is a screaming baby again.
I do have HAB, but i suck at putting it on, so dont, i feel bad coz Ben spent so much on it and its only been used three times. We are thinking of selling and buying a bjorn, or a ergo..I have a Q, those that have a ergo, can you face them outwards as well as inwards?? Like, have them against your chest, with their back to your chest, and also their chest to your chest?? If that makes sense.
At night though, i can feed her, and she will be happy to go to sleep, no fighting, no crying, feed, wrap, rocker, then transfer her to her cot. Day just is a no go.

[Fire]

hey Jen. I am a day nap success story (well, so far, for over a month). so's ya know, i'm the extremist of the group , I'm the extreme AP'er of the group. keep that in mind when i give advice cos it may not suit your style. we're all different in our approach (and they all tolerate me and my culture bashings very well, bless 'em). Having said that, my first recommendation is to get the book The No Cry Sleep Solution. It's all logical in that book but it's good to have it spelled out in the parent fog.

I had slung Ci through all his life until he was about 2 or 3 months old. We put up the cot and played with him in it while awake and often all spent time as a family in the sleeping room to get him adjusted to it (we sleep in that room too but it was only at night up to that point). The first few tries I put him in asleep, and knew he'd only last until his sleep cycle finished and realised where he was - about half an hour back then - ... so I was right there when he woke (very important!). Then I got him up and depending on how he looked, I either called that nap done or popped him in the sling for the rest of the nap.

I just repeated that for a week or so, and occasionally we got lucky with a proper nap but that wasn't the goal. Then it was time to go in sleepy, but not asleep. This failed for quite a while and takes the MOST amount of patience of this whole process. Keeping in mind our goal was just to get him used to the process... ie, when tired, we will put you in here. We didn't get all focused on nap results or we'd just have set ourselves up for frustration - he's only a baby after all. We used cues also, "ssshhh nap time bubby". I used music, this "dreaming" cd i had for DD as another cue. We also cover him in only one blanket (his small green one) while we rock him for sleep times. He put two and two together pretty fast.

I'd put him in and he'd be ok for a few minutes and then he'd get a bit miffed, but not crying. I'd pick him up, bounce on the ball with him, sshh him down, repeat. It took me two hours more than once, so although gentle, it ain't easy. But the reward was a baby that went to sleep in his cot awake and can put himself to sleep (as long as he is calm, comfortable and very tired), which means he can sleep through sleep cycles and if he wakes I can trust it is because he is uncomfotable or done napping. And by "puts himself to sleep", we use no aids like a dummy and he won't breastfeed to sleep during the day, so it's hard core self settling we achieved - without cries. This took a month. The key is for them to see the whole deal as safe and lovely and that you are right there if they even whimper.

Ci cries when he is tired. A lot. Always has, although it has lessened considerably. But I always hold him when he cries. I didn't let him cry in the cot, and I certainly would never leave him crying alone. Not until he can walk away from me if that's what he'd prefer. I put him down when he is settled and drowsy, however long that takes.

Now, he sleeps for 1 to 3 hours twice a day and occasionally needs resettling during a nap - he also has two other naps during the day but they are still on me and we're happy with that. (all this AND he has itchy irritating eczema he is dealing with that really unsettles him, so it's double the acomplishment).

All babes are different, so take that with a grain of salt. But I always advocate gentle gentle gentle, they're only babies and don't understand anything other than "this feels right" or "this feels wrong". Trust a baby's cry signals, always, and you can't go wrong. There's no need for a baby to cry while getting comfortable with changes. It's us that force the issues, grown ups are so impatient and we want results now. If you are willing to be patient and soothe her through all transitions, you'll never suffer mama guilt. The quick fix has it's rewards, but in my opinion, when it comes to babies, it just ain't worth it, they're so vulnerable... and cute... and I just wanna bite 'em. Doncha just wanna bite em? Or at least, nibble at them a bit...

Meg, before you sit a baby the wrong way in any carrier, read this: esp the last part about backwards carries. It has invaluable tips on comfortable babywearing, and if you see the last pic of a baby facing outward, you can see how bad it is for their back, they look ridiculous.

8. Facing in. Only choose a baby carrier that allows your child to face you - never out. Not only does a child need support to hold the leg in a 90 degree angle, there are also too many events going on around your baby. A baby has no way to exclude himself from the environment by turning his head away and towards you. Healthy sleep is difficult for a baby who is facing outward.

Having said that, there is a way to wear them facing outwards. If their legs are bunched up frog style in front it is more comfy for them and less jarring on their body. The best way to carry a baby is on the back though. We are the only baby wearing culture that wears them in front. It's so bad for our backs. Hip or back, that's the ticket. They can see it all going on and both of you are comfy. For a little one, you can make your own stretchy wrap, just a four or five meter piece of cloth and look up youtube for some back wrapping tips - tibetan style is pretty groovy.

Ci had another chiro adjustment today. His neck was out again cos he had that healing crisis yesterday. Five hours of solid crying. It was horrible. But his skin is amazing today. I've been working on him, cleaning out his gut of yeast. I'll link my blog later on the pages of what we're doing. It's working. Better go do dishes while he's napping. Since he's sick, I never know when to expect him to wake.

[Fire]

Oh dear lord, that was LONG, sorry.