Babies Born April 2008 #3

[alittlegrubi]

Fire I applaude you for knowing yourself.
I am like you, happy to give this baby away to anyone who wants to take my mat leave, give them back when they are old enough to interact with me. I feel for my DS as he is copping it due to my inability to deal with the baby stage and the crying!!!!
I'm not so much of a control freak as I like to be able to do things - I don't do sitting around, relaxing very well, which I can't with a squirming, crying baby that needs my attention all the time. I can't even find the time to do ebay listings ATM.
I'd suggest that the way to "just take it all in stride and not be so overwhelmed" is not go with the flow and not have a plan. A little like your labour plan, if you have one then chances are it will be nothing like you planned, if you don't have one, then you aren't so traumatised by what occurs. Like for me - I was absolutely certain that I didn't want a c-section which is why when it happened in an emergency situation I still didn't deal very well with it. If I hadn't needed to be in control of how she was born I could have just taken it in my stride and not been so overwhelmed (IYKWIM). Other than that I am as useless as you with the baby stage.

[Sharon19270]

Fire I have read that somewhere too about BF babies going weeks between poos and it is all normal. As for when does the mothering thing get easier, I find that having a routine helps me to not be overwhelmed by it all, even if that means forcing a routine onto him, now if that gets all out of whack, i'm a blubbering mess
BabyWrangler have to say we haven't really done tummy time yet, but now that he is having more awake periods we will start, we couldn't do it with Jordan as it made his reflux worse and he would scream in pain. I was told to keep Oliver upright for approx 20 mins after a feed which should help with his food settling in his stomach. Just out of curiosity, why do you have a problem with back sleeping? I used to put Jordan on his side because of his bad reflux, as if he was on his back he would sound like he was choking on his vomit.
Beatrix I didn't get Oliver to bring his last bit of wind up at his 2.30pm feed last night and he was grizzly and grumbly for the the rest of the night. Oliver is starting to enjoy his bouncer, it is the Fisher Price rainforest one and he really likes looking at the lights and the moving animals.
Nettie my DH wears ear plugs to bed, and he doesn't even know when I have got out of bed, or when I come back LOL, I have to agree and think that the constant resettling when they are being restless is definitely more tiring, you can just be starting to doze off and then you have to get up again, anyone would find it very frustrating
alittlegrubi I was back into my own bed the first night home and it was wonderful, DH said that he got very lonely in there by himself, and it was nice to have the cuddles on the colder nights too. My eldest always slept on his tummy, this was before they found that it can increase the chances of SIDS.

I took Oliver to the community nurse today and he has put on 400g in 10 days (little piggly) she also congratulated me on picking up on his signs of reflux and that we did make the right decision in putting him onto the thickened formula, especially since he has now gone back to drinking 90-110ml at each feed. He had also grown 2cm since birth and his HC was 1cm bigger too, so all in all, the nurse was happy with his progress.

[Nettie]

Janine - You remind me of myself! I like kids I can interact with too! This whole baby thing is very stressful & tiring. We haven't been doing a lot of tummy time either - DS doesn't seem to like it much. However, we prop him up on our shoulders regularly and he gets practice at holding his head up then. He's very good at it in this position, but on his tummy he's quite frustrated. I don't think he likes to not be able to see anything!

Went to 'Cleft Clinic' yesterday and they had about 7 people in the room (plastic surgeons, speech pathologists, head of 'cleft' department, orthodontists, etc) and all they did was look in his mouth and answer my questions. Thankfully we don't need to persist with the feeding plate. DS was getting very upset using it so about 5 days ago we stopped using it and figured out a way to feed him without it - it works so much better and he is so much calmer at feeds now. They didn't quite believe us that he can suck the bottle on his own without help from us, but he's just slow at it. He's such a clever little man!

I see I now have my avatar - yay!! Thank you Kathryn!

[Sharon19270]

Nettie sounds like you have a very clever little boy there being able to feed without your help

Feeling a bit anxious today as DH has gone to Melbourne till tomorrow night, Oliver has been really good on the KaricareAR so I shouldn't really be worried, but I think it is just that I know that DH is so far away and won't be able to come home in a flash if I need him to and I don't know how I am going to cope with organising Jordan and his homework, dinner, shower etc and Oliver if he decides to have a screaming session.

[BabyWrangler]

Hi Sharon,
My problem is exactly as you described, to me, if a bub vomits while on their back they risk choking on it...Ive always had that opinion even before I was pregnant, and now with BJ being a bit of a chucker with the reflux, I feel that way even more so.

Unfortunately tummy sleeping didnt work, he got quite upset, and also our plan for medication balancing didnt work, he's been really upset after feeds today and looking uncomfortable when he cries (as opposed to just looking like he's crying to get picked up)..so I've booked in to see the Dr again tomorrow to see if we can get something else for the reflux that won't clog his little tushie up.

Sharon were you breast feeding at all with Oliver? or did he go straight onto formula? (just looking at options for reflux...would prefer to keep feeding if I can, but if its best for him to go onto formula I will do it).
Good luck tonight on your own, I'm sure you will be absolutely fine...and whilst its scarey that DH cant come straight back if needed, if it all goes pear shaped, at least you know he'll be back tomorrow (rather than away for weeks or something!)

[alittlegrubi]

Zennie generally the stress is generated by a lack of sleep. If both you and your DP were not getting enough sleep then it will send you over the edge. The c-section will be making it harder for you too. Having a new baby is difficult as it means you have to adjust in so many ways to fit someone else into your life.
To begin with try to forget about all the things that need to be done, worry about yourself and Russell. When he sleeps you sleep - even if it is only for 15 minutes. Get yourself fish oil tablets and vitamin b tablets - take them religiously. Eat sardines and tuna etc, foods with omega3s at least once a day.
Like MGM said If you can get people to help with the things you are not getting done or ask them to look after Russell for a couple of hours whilst you sleep.
The other thing I would suggest is that you take the time to write down, even in a thread here if need be about why you are stressed out and how you feel about DP and Russell. I went through a similar phase when DS was 16 months old working fulltime and not getting a full night's sleep. I went to a counsellor, but I did more for myself, by working out what was causing the stress. For me it was that I had lost the control of my life that I used to have before having a baby. I no longer knew where we were at financially, things that had places had loist there place and I couldn't find papers etc when I wanted them - I'd yell at DH even though it was me that had misplaced them. I eventually worked out that I thought I was failing because I had lost control and my mother always had her house spotless etc. I spoke to my mum and she said, yes but she wasn't working and we were older than my DS. I then worked on getting my house back in order one room at a time.
If it is the crying that is causing you stress, go with Fire's advise, realise that they have to let it out and talk softly into Russell's ear, cry with him if you need to.
If you need someone to talk to feel free to PM me

[Sharon19270]

Zennie I have to say 'ditto' to what mgm said, a newborn can add a lot of stress to a relationship, to you and I hope that things get sorted out with you and your DP
mgm we managed just fine tonight, even though I cheated slightly and got Jordan McDonald's for dinner, it was one less thing for me to have to think about.
BabyWrangler I only managed to suffer the pain of BF for 36 hours after Oliver's birth (you would think that after pushing such a big bubs out with no pain meds I could handle some excruciating nipple pain) I can vaguely remember (although it was quite a few years ago) that you can buy just the thickener, now i'm not sure how it actually works, whether, you can mix up a little of the powder with EBM and give before a feed, or mix with EBM and bottle feed, or if it is just to be added to other brands of formula, but I am sure that you won't have to give up BF because of the reflux, you may need to see a paediatrician about bub's reflux though instead of just your GP. We managed fine tonight, I really surprised myself

I had a bit of a splurge on some clothes today (actually it was only 'Millers'), I bought 2 pairs of pants and 3 nice trendy tops, I can't believe that I can fit into a size 14 pants and a Large top where before I got pg I was wearing 16-18 pants and XL-XXL tops (depending on the brand) all I need to do now is some exercise to get rid of the last of my belly.

[Fire]

Oh Nettie! You're a muso! I come from a long line of musos, and my 10 yo niece also plays the viola. I have four brothers, one drummer, a guitarist and a basist (the fourth is an artist). I'm getting DD into keyboard lessons this year.

They've found that babies heads get misshapen from constant back laying as the skull is still forming. It isn't good to be in only one position for a year or so, which is what some infants get put through from the SIDS stuff by their parents. Well meaning parents, but still. Imagine sleeping only on your back for a year? The best research so far shows that it is linked to bacteria in second hand mattresses (hence more second babies die of SIDS). So tummy sleeping puts them directly in line with that bacteria. Basically, if you have clean stuff, they're safe, because as long as they can turn their heads out of the way of any blockages, they will be safe (babies usually prefer tummy sleeping). For personal protection I must add: I do not recommend this. SIDS is not death by suffocation, they don't know what SIDS is. They do know that it is much more common in the western countries.

[alittlegrubi]

Ventured down to the community health clinic today and had Greer weighed - she has put on 760grams in 2 weeks, now up to 4.26kg. Won't be long before she is out of the 000 clothes and people are still giving me newborn clothing My community health nurse doesn't do length or HC so I don't know how much she has grown in the past month. Guess that is because the WA Dept of Health have removed those statistics from the personal health record book that they provide at birth. Should try to work it out some time.

Sorry missing out on personal messages today - am going to get an hour of sleep in before cooking dinner and picking up DS from daycare.