Erin, I know how you feel with DH. Mine was very similar when Lily was born. I think it's the whole loss of independance and freedom for men. I mean we're the ones that sacrifice our bodies and minds and our real freedom, they don't do half as much as women do! But it really affects men to be so relied on,kwim? My friends' DH was the same too, we had bubs at the same time and they went through a similar thing, it's such a big shift in your relationship.
Thankfully this time he has been really great and things do settle down once you get into a bit of a routin with all three of you, and you and dh become more of a couple again. That said, you do need to try to make a bit of time for the two of you. DH and I get time in the evenings some days and it's so nice to just be together, not being intimate, though that is nice too, LOL! But just being aware of each other, having snuggles watching tv, eating dinner together and talking, giving a massage, or whatever. Rather than being with bubs all the time and cleaning and feeding and changing....
It does get easier and your relationship does settle again. In time.