Kel, it sounds like you are waaay happier without routine, so who needs it???!!! It's not like you to sound this stressed out, hope you are ok...

Monkey went yest and today - as this is wk 2, she has done the whole "OMG this is a REGULAR thing?" and screamed when I left her both mornings..... Yest she didn't sleep in morning, but collapsed about 1230 and slept 2hrs. Carer and I both happy with that if thats what it will be for now. I have been very sad both mornings though, leaving her like that. Yest carer told me she settled in about 10min, so hope today is same...

Day sleeps suck don't they! Hun, I can soooo feel your pain and frustration and an hr is just too long for both of you. My sleep chick said she doesn't believe in trying for any more than 45min, regardless of what "method" you are using to get bub to sleep. It sounds like its afternoon more than morning, yes??

If there is 1 that is worse than the other, here is what worked for us, based on my sleep chicks recommendations (which I played with a bit...)

Does she sleep well in car or pram?? For Monkey this was a guaranteed sleep aid, so we used it to our advantage.

If so, then whichever is crappest / hardest sleep, then go out for that sleep EVERY day - walk or drive - I did this for a month and its a bit hard to plan at the start but gets easier. If its the car and it only takes you 15 min to get somewhere then just arrive a little early, read book/txt friends etc... and let her have at least 30-40min.

The other tip I have is to try the "chill out room" concept..... as both our sleeps were hard and full of screaming and crying (from both of us usually!) I would go out EVERY morning and then be home to "work on" the afternoon sleep. But sometimes this was still a battle and stressful. At least I knew she had slept in morning in car etc...

So in afternoon if she had not started to settle down after a nominated time (I chose 20min) we would "abandon" her bedroom and go down to our spare room and lay on the bed together. It doesn't have to be a spare room, your bed would be fine, just that our bedroom is really light in pm, so spare room was less bright and more chilled out.... I would just let her wind herself down and let her sit/roll/lie whatever with minimal stimulation, so no toys, but we would maybe have a little cuddle and a quiet chat in soft voice etc... or even sing a soft song etc.... Often after she'd calmed down from the stress of being tried to put to sleep, she'd virtually fall asleep on the bed beside me and I'd either lie there with her or try to transfer her back to her bed just before she fell totally asleep.

The sleep chick's theory with this was that even if she didn't sleep, which happened sometimes, then at least it was quiet time for min 30 min.

While it was still time-consuming for me, I wasn't getting tired holding her and it was nice, positive time together, not a battleground.

I have no idea why, but fairly recently, since Christmas, all of a sudden she has grown out of this horrid phase and day sleeps are a breeze for us again.... I have only just started staying home some mornings and she seems to be fine. I still cuddle her, we haven't graduated to self-settling yet, but there's no more sleep war for now.....

Hope this helps, sorry I'm long-winded, not good at explaining things succinctly!

Hi to everyone else!!!

Oh, and Cate, thinking of you hope things are improving...