thanks for your kind words lisa

i'm waiting for him to turn the corner -everyone keeps telling me he will but i'm not so sure....at the moment (sorry if this is upsetting for some people but i need to do an honest vent) i find myself not really liking him - YKWIM - i love him with all my heart and there isn't a thing i wouldn't do for him but lately especially this week i find myself not enjoying my time with Brodie - to the point that i sometimes dread it - it's just the constant whining, whinging and carrying on to the point of utter craziness.

I feel like I'm finding it more and more difficult to be with him - i'm just going through the motions, feeding, bathing, playtime, sleep but i have such anxiety around him as he seems to be in a constant bad mood - hence my mood reflecting his and vice versa, by the end of the day i've had enough - sadly lately it has been the beginning of the day that i've had enough and i just get more and more down as the day progresses.

I wake each morning with a positive attitude but as soon as that first whine starts i feel myself tensing up - i feel awful for having these feelings and probably worst part is that i'm a crap mum (i must be as i can't even control my 1 child let alone several...) - i'm just so upset.

i don't have much support around either - dh works long hours and his answer for everything is "take him for a walk" - he obviously doesn't understand that I'm not interested in going anywhere, my parents currently vacationing overseas (as if they really needed a holiday anyway...sorry this is a sore point with me) and my sister - although she would love to help struggles managing her 2 children already - so i can't burden her with a whingey baby - she loves Brodie but has also suggested i seek further help with him as she doesn't believe that his constant nonsense is normal - she means it in a nice way.

He's not interested in rolling or doing anything mechanical - all he does is cry all day long - it makes for a long and yukky day - trust me - i've put up with this for a long time now and I AM OFFICIAL OVER IT!!!

Ladies - please don't read my post and be worried about me harming Brodie in anyway - i have no agression towards him - just love and warmth - but he doesn't pick up on that energy from me it's all just negative.