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Thread: Babies Born July 2005 #5

  1. #55
    belmarks Guest

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    hey all, just a quick question - how would you all go about telling your husband that you don't trust his mother to look after the baby?

    I know that sounds awful, but I seriously don't trust my MIL :af: . Its a very long story, but basically she's not "plugged in" to Coby at all, all she ever does is buy him things, she isn't even affectionate to him when she sees him, just a quick hug and then puts him down. Whereas my mum comes over and she can't get enough of him, she reads to him, feeds him, baths him etc etc, but DH's mother doesn't do any of that, and is dead set not even interested. She only knows how to show affection by buying things, she's strange!! :boggle:

    Oh yeah! She's LOOPY!!

    We have an engagement party this Saturday night and my mum will be out of town and Coby's godmother (who lives down the street) has a wedding so she isn't available, so the only option we have is to ask MIL or take Coby with us, which isn't fair as its in a smokey noisey pub and he should be in bed by the time it even starts.....

    Any suggestions??


  2. #56

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    Hi gals,

    Brooke, dunno if this helps, and I'm not advocating controlled crying or anything, but perhaps leave it a little longer to go into her when she grizzles after the 10mins. Pup occasionally grizzles a little bit when I put him down, but that's all it is. If I leave him (I ALWAYS am nearby listening just in case it escalates) he usually settles. If I go in, then i have to repeat the whole settling routine again. Of course, if Maya is going to town, you would want to do something. But for me, I found that sometimes I was just going in to him too early. Other than than, I really don;t have many good suggestions.

    Bel, hard one about not trusting your ILs and being a bit stuck for a child minder. I've left Pup with my mum and my MIL on seperate occasions for about 2.5 hrs at the longest. My MIL doesn;t really seem to be a baby person ewither (she is good with kids though), but Pup has never had a problem when being with her. He is all smiles or fast asleep whenever I have come back. Are you able to check in at all whilst away? (either physically or by phone). I guess that unless you think she may harm Coby then you might have to just bite the bullet. It seems to me that most mums have a better relationship with their daughters babies than the MIL does. Hard call though.....

    Brooke, thanks for the feedback about Broome. I lived in Perth for about 1 year (I have family and friends over in the west) - worked for UWA - so as I have been around a lot of Perth and the south, I'd like to go north. I've really been no further north than New Norcia. But on the same token, it would be great to catch up with friends in Perth (and maybe a few of you as well??!!). I'll have to check out frequent flyer points and flights.

    Kate, don;t envy you with the tiredness. Ooooh I can soooo remember it.

  3. #57

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    Brooke, dont know if you've ever watched super nanny, but I do like her, and I sit at the side of the cot, head facing the other way ( so no eye contact) and slowly move further away til after 15 mins or so I am out of the room. Maya the clever chick has figured out if she cries she gets mummy back!!!

    Kate, good luck getting some shut eye!!

    Beckles, I am a nurse too ( Div 2 only) Dion doesnt look remotely into waving, just thumping.

    Bel, what time does it start?? can you just go late and put Coby to bed before you go??? Then leave MIL with him?? Maybe sugest some short imes first ( an hr tomorrow while you catch up on ironing?washing ?computer, whatever but, so that you're home, but staying back and observing??? And so MIL gets to know Coby's likes/dislikes??? My MIL has never babysat a minute in teh past 7 yrs, but not for the lack of being asked ( always has something better to do !!!)

    Hayseed, I hope you get your holiday organised!!

    Fletch, Lucky you that Zane's a laugher!! We have had a giggle out of Dion, but is a very rare thing!!!

    WARNING.... As Beck said earlier slap face IS deadly to unborn bubs especially if mum contracts it before 20 weeks.... I was lucky enough, the twins got it when I was 17 weeks pg with Rianna, My Ob, did some tests and I had contracted it around week 15, I had weekly ultrasounds, as babe gets anaemia, and if not monitored can die. We were borderline for a few weeks ( I had to have daily US) and it was looking like we would need to go to Monash for in utero blood transfusions , but Rianna kicked it off, and managed to pull through on her own. Its a very scary time, so pg girls beware, and IF you're bubs get it warn any body you suspect could be pg, coz if they know the bubs will at least get monitored.

    Sorry.just had to let you know of my experiences!!!

    My *TTC* journey is going wonderful, thanks to you all for your concern LOL ( It consists of running the other way if DH is about, til he gets the snip, LOL ) Am on the injections, am hoping THIS will do the trick, Til snip, snip!!!!!

    Love to all!!!

  4. #58

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    Bel - i hear you on the MIL sitch. I have one of those that I just don't trust either, you might recall my huge whinge about her last time she visited a few months back. It was a nightmare. She is nuts too. But if you can settle the baby to sleep and then head out for your night out, she can just call you if there's a change and you come home. What could go wrong? Do the engagement party, sounds like a good excuse to have a few drinks.

    Gee I'm learning more and more about slapped cheek. Al actually was looking very flushed in the cheeks again today. But no temp and I can see the second tooth breaking through, so maybe that. The jet lag is a killer too, he had a tough day - very tired and grumpy, but I reckon if he can sleep tonight we will be able to get into the day properly tomorrow. Hopefully.

    Kate - poor love. I remember how tired I felt too. Hope you got a good sleep this night.

    Fletch - hope you don't get sick. it is a pet hate of mine that people go to work (now MGs!) when they are sick and spread it around to everyone else. I skipped a mother's group once already cos I was sick. Felt like a lame excuse at the time, but I really didn't want to spread it.
    Cute that Zane likes to slap. So does Al. Bang! Bang! Bang! and Boo! are his favourite words he likes to hear from me.

    Oop, gotta go! Hi to everyone!

  5. #59

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    Hello guys,

    On the remote, mobile, keys thing - Hendrix has also been obsessed for the past month or so. No more can i discreetly hide it behind me or some other object he is a wise little munchkin and sources it out!! This morning it was so cute as DH gave him his mobile in bed and it has a photo of hendy on it as the wallpaper and hendrix just thought it was so funny, looking at the baby in the phone then turning it over looking at the back wondering where the baby had gone!! hehe

    Brooke - sorry no concrete settling tricks over here either. He is settling rather well at the moment. I just put him in his cot and thats it (touch wood) but this will last a few days at the most and then we will need to try something else. I think what you are doing though is fine and once she is over this wonder week and is confident that mum is going to come back she will learn to settle herself again. It becomes incredibly trying doesnt it? But just hold it in your heart that things will change again.

    Bel - sorry i have no advice either on the MIL sitch except that for your peace of mind you should be honest if possible???

    Deb - sorry to hear of Al being sick. I checked out your webpage and again i was so entertained. It looked like you had a wonderful trip.

    Kate - hope you had a good sleep sweetheart!

    Well our sickness is really hanging around so we are just vegging out at home until we can get over the yuckes. Hendy is being so good considering how blocked up he is. He has a mighy cough but evey time he coughs he smiles so it must be relieving.

    Catch up soon.

  6. #60

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    hi all

    bel we never use our parents, dh mum and dad or my mother to babysit, cos we love our children lol. den's parents are not intune with our boys and do not understand gentle parenting hence we do not leave them with them ever. i don't speak to my mother and haven't for years so thats an easy one. my sister has babysat my boys occassionally after they turned 4 and of course they have playdates now after i get the FBI to check out the parents of course . so oscar won't be babysat until 4 either. sorry i can't help, and i know you're probably all thinking we are bloody weird but it was something we decided before we had kids and doesn't bother us.

    brooke sorry can't help you, i would pick maya up and hold her until she goes back to sleep and either just keep her in your lap or lay her down again. i know probably not what you are after though.

    kate i hate that tiredness you get with being up the duff. soooooo exhausting. poor poppet

    vanita don't say only a div 2, they are a link in the nursing chain. where have you worked we may have worked together. i have pretty much worked at all the big city hospitals and eastern as well. only place i haven't worked is the alfred.

    fletch zane is sooooo cute

    deb how is al today, i hope he settles soon.

    rachel how are you today?

    heather how's hendy today hope the sniffles go soon.

    oscar just descovered the joys of lego today. he can roll around so much when i looked over he was turning the boys 'creations' over in his hand and was laughing as it crumbled in his hand. that'll teach them. no more lego on the floor! i thought it was safe where it was. eeeekkkk. and this morning he tore up josh's D-Mag. he was cute about it though he said to oscar 'that's ok little man you didn't know but next time can you be more careful' like he understands! oh well nappys to hang out - they will be dry in no time on a hot day like today. yay.

    love beckles

  7. #61

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    Brooke, you are already doing what I was suggesting - just not to go in when they are only grizzling/whinging. Like Vanita said, Maya has just worked out how to get mummy back!! Hmmmmm...don;t really have any suggestions. Do you think that it is because she is loosing her dummy that she gets upset? During the day, I put Pup into his cot awake and turn on his musical mobile. I know that sleep clinics tell you not to do this as it is just a stimulation for them, but it doesn't seem to faze Pup. He just watches it go round until either it stops or he falls asleep. He also has a small stuffe toy in his cot (another no no as far as the sleep experts are concerned...I do all the bad things 8-[ ), so he can have a little play with that if he has managed to unwrap himself (which he normally does).

    The other thing, I guess, is to make sure that Maya is tired enough to have a sleep. Until I got used to it, I was sometimes putting Pup down for a sleep before he was tired enough, and hence, he would start to grizzle and cry as he wanted to be up. On hot nights, I have this problem. His normal bed time is 7.30 - 8pm, but I have found that sometimes on hot nights, if he doesn;t settle within 10 minutes, then I just pick him up, bring him out into the lounge (or wherever) and try again in an hour or so. We don;t play with him or talk to him a lot during this time. Sort of like quiet time for toddlers and children I guess.

    Sorry, not much help am I?.....

    Ningaloo Reef...now that is a great suggestion!

  8. #62
    lozi Guest

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    just thought i would say a quick hi!

  9. #63

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    Hiya all.
    Kate, glad to hear you got some :sleeping:

    Brooke, glad Maya is settling a bit better, and you are finding out what works for you.

    Fletch, OH MY I love Zanes laugh, I played it here at work, and all the girls wanted to know who the happy baby was!!! ADORABLE!!!

    Hay, LOL at doing everything they say not too. I say do what works for you!!!!

    Beck, have not worked in many big hospitals, have only sort of worked out this way in nursing homes or small places, Am at the new hospital in berwick now, on the surgical ward. Weird??? No Dedicated, loving parents YES. I get roooly mad with a few of my friends whom have a baby, stick them in full time care when they are 6 weeks old, have them babysat all weekend ( coz they have social lives) and barely see their kids, I only work ( besides need the $) because they only get cared for by DH or My mum a few grs a week, other than that I am there IYKWIM>

    Heather, yes Dion too, keys, remotes, phone, all get "baby drooled"

    Deb, hope he gets over it soon.

  10. #64

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    Kate - I am soo jealous Kelsey is saying mum! how wonderful! I wish Al would, but he doesn't seem to know who mum is yet - in one ear out the other. I would be so surprised if he said it. Boys are slow, aren't they?

    Brooke - good on you for the weight loss. Its great to hear you feeling on top. And its so amazing to be in love with our little ones, isn't it? They are so special. I can't believe what an amazing little human being he is turning into.

    Fletch - gorgeous video! What a little cutie. I love Zane's laugh. My DH is sitting across from me now and thought it was Al I was watching, he sounds very similar.

  11. #65

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    helloooooooo

    fletch zane's laugh is a crack up.

    vanita my gf is thinking of working in Berwick as she lives there at the mo she is working at the alfred.... big bastard drive! what's it like there. all new and sparkly? i haven't worked at nursing homes ever although i am tempted sometimes for the money, their incharge shifts pay ridiculous amounts at times.

    deb keep at al with the mummummum that's what i do although he only says it when he's whinging and sad.

    brooke ohhhhh and lol at your lovehearts coming outa your face. you cartoon character you.

    kate yay to kelse saying mum good girl.

    hi to all i have missed.

    well we have an eventful morning. josh told me one of his friends had lice and i should check his hair. and yup he has it. buggar. he had it once in grade 1 and now this year - 5. so i have been busy treating that. thank goodness zak hasn't got it or ME arghhhhhh. so josh is home cos he doesn't want to go to school smelling like lice solution (don't blame him). i will buzz cut his hair this afternoon when my neighbour gets home she is a hair dresser. she has that buzzer cutter thingy. ok more washing to do.

    beckles

  12. #66

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    Oh no...lice. As a kid, I had VERY long hair and when lice was going around our school, mum had to do me and after raking through all that hair with that bloody little comb, I only had 1 nit !!!

    Kate! MUM! OMG, I can;t wait for that to happen. Pup actually sounded like he said a word today. Dunno what it was, but it was certainly more than the baby babble he has been doing for the last 5.5 months. I reckon he might be close to coming out with something....exciting stuff.

    Fletch, loved the videos.If your DH thought he looked like a goose in the video (I take it because he was being silly with Zane), then I must look like an absolute MORON to everyone that sees me with Pup. The things I do to make him smile and laugh....

    Brooke, I feel the same way about Pup. Every night as he is going to sleep I tell him I love him and I nearly always tear up!!

    Deb, Al will be talking before you know it....and then you'd wish he's never heard of the word "MUM"

    Hi Vanita, Shannon, Lozi and others

  13. #67

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    Beckles, We had the dreaded lice for basically the whole of Kinder year, and the girls have thick, ringlet curl long hair!! ( I begged them to let me cut it) home from Hospital 1 day ( 4 days post csec) and I was treating them Again!!! Luckily have not had it since we started school. DH has one of those buzz cutty things!!!
    Casey is gorgeous , sparkly, sweet smelling, and not very busy ( A & E) is prob busiest, and Medical. My ward is mainly elective, with boob job, hysters etc.

    Kate, lucky you!! Dion also says mumumum when he's upset and wants me!!! ( more just a sad winge!!)

    Brooke its amazing how they make you feel isnt it. Today DH was busy, and didnt hear Dion crying and I got up to him ,I'd only had 4 hrs sleep, but I lay in bed and snuggled him into me, and just stared at his face feeling mushy!!!

    Dion has really red cheeks, so hopefully that means he's going to get some pegs!!!

    It my birthday today ( getting old) so hoping to get a little sleep in between Rianna's swimming lessons, the girls swimming lessons, lunch with mum and DH is cooking dinner!!!

  14. #68

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    Hi everyone!

    Happy birthday Vanita. Hope you had a yummy dinner and got some tender lovin care.

    Well I am going through some dramas here, I feel like I have completely lost track of what I am supposed to be doing with the baby! I have been so busy the last month and a half and just relaxed about feeding him whenever he cried or having DH around to take him when he was bored or some other family member etc..now I am back here and on my own again, it is clear that I don't know what I'm doing!!!

    Al is still waking twice a night - 3am and 5am!!!! I usually feed him to settle him quickly, but last night I tried to pat him back to sleep and he lost it!!! I felt terrible. He eats well during the day, because he seems to be always hungry, He also has a lot of dirty nappies, it is in one end out the other. What is going on?
    I am going a bit nuts because it is now 7 months of interrupted sleep.

    Is Al the only one in this group who has NEVER slept through? I can handle the eating all day, but all night as well is OTT, don't you think?

    Sorry for the vent. I am just hanging for him to finally get into a sleep all night routine..I know, I know...I should just face it may not happen for ages :-/ No need to respond, I actually feel slightly relieved to write it down and now ...get back to my special little munchkin :-)

  15. #69

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    deb :hugs: oscar doesn't sleep through the night either. you are not alone. you are doing a great job, responding to Al's needs. he will feel loved and cared for. i know it is hard having sleepless nights. are you trying to sleep during the day with Al? this might help you catch up. remember too you have just left all your family again and i'm sure that impacts on you. be kind to yourself lovey.

    love beckles

  16. #70

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    vanita

    :happybday:

    love beckles

  17. #71

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    Hey thanks you lot. We had a better night. Still woke up at 3 and 5 but no tears at all, just laying awake. I gave him water but he wasn't very interested in that. We both got up at 6, as I think its a more reasonable hour than 5. And he ate some baby cereal and had 100mls of formula. But I know he'll be tired again by 8 and wanting to go to sleep. He is such a baby!
    His second tooth is well and truly through the skin now, so it has probably been the cause of his recent misery.

    We may be moving to another apartment soon, which is exciting. As this one is SOOO small. I am looking forward to that. There is a confusing situation with ownership - rental etc here. Most people just have a share of the building and pay a small rent. Which is what we do. The prices are held down very low - they have somewhat of a socialist mentality. But of course times are changing and there is a property booom going on and prices of owning your own apartment are outrageous. So we won't be doing that unless we make a million.

    All sorts of other dramas here of course with one of the leading newspapers which published a series of cartoons illustrating muhammed last septemebr. The whole situation has been blown out of context now and we see everyday the extremes in the moslem world burning danish flags and threatening to kill us. Its not very pleasant. And I live in a neighbourhood that is prodominantly moslem. So tensions are quite high around here. I hope that it settles down. It is a big issue here in europe.

    Sorry, I got sidetracked. Can understand if you can't be bothered reading. :sleeping: :shock:

    Hope you all have a great night - and Fletch. Happy birthday for you for tomorrow \/ Hope you eat all that you can at sizzler!!

  18. #72

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    Hey guys,

    sorry i havent been on much same old house stuff.

    Fletch - Zanes laugh is so so gorgeous (reminds me of Hendrix's also) he is such a beautiful boy, and obviously loves a laugh too!!

    Deb - im so glad you posted your last post as i have been feeling a little down and lost too since we were away. Hendrix used to sleep through but hasnt now for 5 weeks (since we went away) and his so called routine has just gone out the window. He has since got a tooth too and a really bad cold and chest infection so heres hoping. I used to be able to go in and just pop in the dummy but now we are woken (4 times last night) by a blood curdlin scream and i have to pick him up and jig him for a few minutes before he stops crying and starts to relax again. Then i can put him in his cot to sleep. Ive really felt myself getting frustrated as i dont know what i can do to help him?? Glad to hear that we are not the only ones hey??

    Brooke - i know what you mean about our bubs melting our hearts!! Today we were out all day doing errands and when Hendrix got tired he lay his head on my shoulder and i just felt like the most special person on the planet.

    Vanita - HAPPY BIRTHDAY :happybday: :flower: :flower:

    Kate - yay for mummies giving us the chance to catch up on our much needed zzzz's!! This week being sick has not been much fun having to wake up during the night. Mum did the same and took Hendrix for a walk while i had a rest. Bless them.

    Well sorry for my little rant. Hope he sleeps a little better tonight.

    xx

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