We are just a bunch of model citizens in here, Bath LOL
Well, I'm back -new nose and all! It's quite nice, we think Best of all, I can definitely notice better breathing! We waited for ages, even though we were there on time. And it killed! Stitches were so nice and neat that they were agony to undo. There was a direct connection to my tear ducts and I had involuntary tears streaming down my face, whilst squeezing the hand of the registrar! She was very impressed when I told her that childbirth was easier to deal with than having my nose pulled apart...I said that there should be some kind of hypnotherapy for nose jobs! Hey, I never felt the need to squeeze anyone's hand, swear or cry out, wriggle or hold my breath when having Oscar LOL!
Simone, glad you know what's wrong with Liesy (allow me to find my own nickname for her!). I would also think that the posts in the other thread came from a caring place - it just is unfortunate that you are feeling fragile right now anyway, I can understand how it would have seemed critical of you. I don't think they think you're a bad mummy Bath has some good points to make, too, regarding your DH. Sorry to weigh in on it again, but I think you know that I agree with making things more clear cut - YOU call the shots this time because you are the one who is more than entitled to do so. It will be so hard to call the first shot, but like Bath said, once you've started you'll trip your 'self-worth' switch in your head and you'll see a clearer path to safety (emotional etc). You'll also have one less 'dependant' on your hands and you'll go back to having just 3 kids! It's so daunting, I realise this, and it's a leap of faith...but it's a path well-worn and there are resources available for you as a result of other women having to pull similar manouevres! There IS life after separation with kids. My guitarist's girlfriend has 3 kids with an abusive alcoholic who even shames his brother to be related to him. Like you, she has so much to offer and my guitarist has a really lovely relationship with her and her kids. However, right now a relationship with someone else is way down low on your priority list (just saying that you can get back on the circuit in good time) and your little ones need for you to take some action now Remember, we are your cheer squad right here. You have already made steps in the right direction. Also, your PIL will ALWAYS be your kids' granny and gramps, so you won't lose them entirely. It sounds like they'd even help you if required.
ANYWAY, at this stage Friday seems like a goer. It's a bit of a push to trek to town two days in a row, but it may just be possible. I MAY even just go for a couple of hours at most and leave Oscar with his daddy, even though I'd miss the little monster. I'll see how he pulls up after Thursday's activities.
Oh, great news! I can swim right away! I needn't have reorganised Babyswim after all - damn misinformation! I was given pamphlets about my surgery that said no swimming for 4 weeks! Oh, well, at least I have Saturdays back for now. I didn't get to actually sit and talk to anyone today about the surgery, it was all hands on pulling off the splint and pulling my nose off (well, that's how it FELT), so I will write a letter about the painkiller administration and BFing.
I have closure - I sent the box containing the things I made for my niece, phew!
Rory - what herb could you inbibe that would perk you up? How about some lemongrass tea? Stick some orange oil on a tissue and sniff? Or Bergamot? I'm finding it difficult to imagine you feeling 'blurgh', so I hope you're starting to feel better about things.
Nic - What a cop out! That's ALL that comment is. It's an excuse to just leave you to do the hard yards while he enjoys your son's happier moments. Well, THAT"S not parenting. It's not the perfect analogy, but I always think of the chicken who made bread and no-one wanted to help her make it but they all wanted to eat it...and they got none! Maybe you could throw him the line of "I feel like a single parent" - would that have an effect, do you think? Such a cop out, it's so cowardly! DP has only ever dared to JOKE along those lines. When I told him once that he needed to help me a bit because I spend a lot of energy keeping Oscar content and safe...he cheekily said, "Well, that's because you have a vagina and gave birth to him" or something to the effect that it is my duty to take up the slack. He was so sheepish saying it that I know he thought I would fly at him with fists clenched...but his sheepish face was so cute that I couldn't help but laugh. And I know that he doesn't really feel that way - he was just trying to cop out that particular afternoon. Considering the playboy that he most certainly was before I came along, he has no problem assuming responsibility for OUR child. I am not trying to rub it in (cos DP is not perfect, but none of them are - it's only us girls who are flawless ), just illustrating that even someone who was a sworn bachelor (who wouldn't even own a dog cos he was never home) can see that if you want to call yourself a parent you have to experience the whole spectrum of what that involves. From some of your posts since Nixon's birth, I get the feeling that he doesn't quite appreciate that and if it's not addressed you are going to have more moments like these. I hate that you have been made to feel like it's only your burden to bear, especially when Nix was still in NICU and you were expressing. Maybe the move back to Sydney could be a good thing for his frame of mind and he wouldn't feel so 'trapped' - but if he does feel 'trapped', then it doesn't matter where he is, that needs to be addressed for your family's sake. I'm not pontificating, even if that's how it feels to you, I'm just calling it like I see it cos a pattern has emerged in your DH's parenting, thus far.
Ok, better think about dinner before heading to the fire station...with my NEW NOSE! hee hee! It's SO straight, it's amazing they can do that to a nose that has spent a long time bent on an angle!