Ali - thats a really good idea, thanks i have to buy a new diary when finances allow (not going to get much money from centrelink for a while, for being on my own, so have to be really strict on myself for a bit) but i used to do something like that - i loved my journals. Whenever i had something on my mind, i would just ramble on and on until it was out of my system, then i could forget about it.

The hardest thing for me atm is i know i still love XH sooo much, but i know its not going to work out in the long term and i want to end it now so i can get on with my life. Im only 22, alot of people dont marry and have children for years, so i have had the children, now i can focus on bringing them up and getting a good job to provide for them. I feel so lonely though, Xh has been making plans to go out with the boys from work to poker nights and such, and hasnt even consulted me as to when he's like to look after the kids - i havent even been able to pee on my own since he left on sunday. Maybe he might realise that i need a hand. I did bring it on myself though, its my decision and i have to live with it and all the stress it bring now...

Sorry to blabber on...