THere is no way of me getting back to Perth in the near future. I just dont have any money. With the money from Centrelink (which wont come in for a month at least apparently) And child support, i will be able to JUST afford the place im living in (and finding another place is damn near impossible, we were lucky to get this one) and then bills, car loan (only $70pf luckily) and food and bits and pieces... ill be lucky to have anything left! Let alone enough to save up a few thousand dollars to move me and the kids back... 'm getting used to the idea now that i wont be going back. Im waiting to gt my cast off then going for my interview with the RAAF. Ryan will take the kids for my training (at least he has family support here) and i will be able to get some decent earning capacity when im out, AND get posted to Perth free of charge. And then i will be able to live comfortably, and buy a house and do all the things i want. Living on the pension, my kid swill have nothing.
Bath - don't be silly, no offence taken at all. I am always worried about the education side of things and where we would like the girls to go to school. I don't think private education in an option but Chelsea will go to a Catholic primary school which is where she goes to kinder. I would really like her to learn about religion as I never had the opportunity too (my parents were a bit anti religion and didn't let me participate in religious education at school - silly, I know). She will hopefully then go to a Catholic secondary school. We have been putting money into an account for Chelsea since she was born and will need to get started on Marleys. Once I go back to work, I will have more to contribute (and if I stop spending on silly things). I am glad you bought it up as I will start thinking more seriously about it know. Meeting Verity last week and seeing what a lovely sensible girl she is shows how important a good education is. BTW the felafel balls sound yummy, might have to head to coles and look for them.
Nic - great news at the paed appointment, he is a very happy, healthy boy. Happy 9 months to Nixon!
Simone - I have the same response as the others - what right has he to tell you how clean your house must be. Tell him if he can't support you and at least be polite, then don't bother coming over!! Sorry to sound so harsh, but it seems like he enjoys p!ssing you off and getting you upset. I can understand why you want to keep things normal for the kids, but what he is saying and doing is not normal and they shouldn't be part of that. Tell him he can see them at a time you both decide. If he is not happy with that, then bad luck. Stop letting him rule your life - and as for cooking dinner for him STOP DOING IT!!! He is big enough to fend for himself and as you said, he has family to support him. Maybe go to Centrelink and see if they can fasttrack your payments, you are officially separated so they should start paying you now. Can you get out of your lease early? You should try to decide a date to get back and do whatever you can to make it happen - sell what you can. Only you can make this happen and start a better life for you and the kids. You need to be with family. I don't mean to sound horrible but I hate hearing how bad he makes you feel.
Rory - poor little Flynn! If he was lactose intolerant, wouldn't he have runny poos? Don't know much about lactose intolerance but I thought it would make him throw up or have the runs. Was there anything else different about his diet? Pears usually do the trick. Have fun reading your 100 page agenda!
Just been chatting to my best friend in Brisbane (she is coming to Noosa with us) for the past 2 hours!!!! Its only 6 weeks until we leave and I am getting very excited. Lots going on tomorrow - I have the plumber coming to replace our hot water service (its had the gong!) and getting a quote for 2 new wardrobes in the girls rooms. At least its cooler tonight - the breeze outside is lovely
just got back home again - went to brigade and stayed too long. I'm knackered.
Simone - ditto to what the others have said, but you already must know what my reaction would be. You are not playing that game anymore - tell yourself that out loud, please! You are not 'his' to bully. What you and XH had was not 'normal', so there's no point trying to keep up that farce - better to normalise them to the new reality and explain it as best as you can.
Sorry I can't write anymore, I have to go!
Good morning Junies Am about to get the kids ready for a trip to NorthLand. We catch the bus from Ivanhoe Station... I've rung the bus company and confirmed that it will be a ultra low modern bus so easy to wheel the pram onto. I've done the trip about a dozen times before. Wade Loves it! The main objective today is to buy Verity's school shoes. I've discovered over the past few years that if you buy a good quality leather pair (like AirFlex) they last the whole year without falling apart. They also come with these cushioned leather-like inserts that she wears for the first half of the year... really extends their life and adds extra arch support. So important to look after children's feet. I'll probably receive another stationery kit of which will be given to Rory.
Simone: Hope you have a productive and peaceful day with your children and minimal contact with your X. I hope you don't feel like we are constantly lecturing you. It's so hard to make huge life changes... it doesn't just happen because you make up your mind about it. Obstacle after obstacle will pop up in front of you and it would be sooo easy just to take the path of least resistance... the path that seems to involve less fighting and conflict. I think it was Divvy who said "good things come from struggle" so you've got to be prepared for a struggle. You X will try to convince you that "all will be well" if you just do things his way. *shaking head* You're going to have to do things that he doesn't like and that will involve conflict and it will be hard. He will use your children against you then but if YOU stay calm your kids will be ok. I agree with Mel. Sell what you have to to fund your trip back to Perth. Sell your car! Sell the furniture. Start shipping stuff back now. Your X will probably be able to take over the lease... if not so be it... you might have to sacrifice the bond... more than worth it. I'm not saying these things lightly. I have lived through this before. I've moved across Australia several times. I've also moved house with children. I've also lived in a violent family situation and I know that all it takes is for your X to realise that you're not just going to resettle back into his idea of a family unit and he will become increasingly frustrated and you and the kids will suffer.
I can see that it might be tempting not to share your thoughts with us anymore if we keep nagging at you. I'm sorry if we frustrate you but we do care and we do have objective perspectives of your situation. I hope you can see some value to what we are saying. I guess if we annoy you too much you could seek support from other BB members but I hope it doesn't come to that. Have you been in touch with the Perth Junies? I'm sure they are ready to welcome you over there with open arms! Of course we will miss you but we honestly want what's best for you and your children darl.
gotta get ready to go! See you all this afternoon!
Bookmarks