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Thread: Babies Born March 1st - 15th 2008 #4

  1. #289

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    Hi all.
    Hows it going. I'm really tired today. Me & Anth were up fighting til 1am, then 10 minutes after I fell asleep Jesse & Bri both woke up. I think it was about 2.30 before I finally got to sleep. Then Jesse decided that 6.30 was a good time to wake up this morning & didn't go back to sleep til 10.30.
    I'm thinking about moving back up to where my mum is. We have lived where we are for 7 months & I haven't had any family, friends or support of any kind around since. For the last 2 months my SIL hasn't been working, but she is the only person I have in this dump of a town.
    I just don't think I can do it anymore. I have no friends here. Jaz has no friends outside of school & I don't have a chance to meet people here, coz there's nothing here. There is a playgroup that I've been meaning to go to, but it starts at 9.30am & by the time I remember its on we are only just getting dressed & its too late.
    Up where mum is I have friends. 2 of them have boys not much younger than Jesse & Jaz has known one of their daughters since she was 7 months old. There are a few other girls there now we kinda know outside of school that are around her age too. She actually has a pretty big circle of friends over there.
    And I can't do this on my own anymore. Anthony is useless. He's a better father to Jesse than he ever was to the girls, but I have to force it on him. & he does nothing else. He could have 2 weeks off work, but in those 2 weeks he will do nothing to help me out. He just stays up all night, sleeps all day & adds to the kids mess by leaving plates, cups, coke bottles & crap lying around all over the place.
    He did wash up last week. I think I've seen him wash up about 5 times in 8 years.
    I dunno. I'll probably plan on going, but won't do it, but I think I need to. More for Jazmyne than myself. Her & Anthony can't live together anymore. He treats her different coz of the problems we've been having with her & you can tell he doesn't like her anymore.
    We are both having trouble with that atm. We love her more than anything, but she's really hard to like. Anyway, we both are having problems with it, but Anthony does nothing to try & hide it.
    He thinks she should be flogged the way he was as a kid & I don't agree. I can't let him do it anymore. He hasn't hurt her or really flogged her or anything, but I can't say he won't.

    Anyway. Sorry for going on & on. I think I'm trying to convince myself I'm doing the right thing. I have no idea how I'm going to do it. I know he won't help & this entire house will be my problem. I can manage that, I just hope the ATO can help me get my tax sorted so I can get my backpay from Centrelink soon. Neither of us have done our tax yet. I've tried, but I can't get it done til I have his earnings, but he hasn't got all his group certs yet.
    Oh well. I'm going to get onto the Dept of housing & Centrelink & see what sort of help I can get. ATO first though.

    Again sorry for going on & on.


  2. #290

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    Hugs Skye. I really don't have any advice to give you, but I can kind of understand your frustraition.
    I guess you just have to do what you think will be best for you and your family.

  3. #291

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    Skye there must be something in the air!! I am moving without DH something that needs to be done. I don't really have any friends either all mine are in Sydney and couldn't be bothered coming to visit. So i know how you feel, you need to do whats best for you and the kids. Bloody Men!!!!!! Yours and mine sound very similar. Mine would rather be in another state or country that with me and the girls.

    No sleep for me either Summer has sore throat or something she is cranky....

    I hear the school bell best i go get them oops!

  4. #292

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    Thanks heaps. Sorry Trina. It's really not fair huh. I do try to explain how I'm feeling to him, but he just doesn't understand.
    I would love to walk out for 2 days & leave him with the kids to see if he could handle it. I can't do it though. I can't leave them for that long. & I don't think it would help anyway. He's had plenty of time away from the kids. I've had NONE. He has mates that come visit, I don't, so he would still have no idea what it is actually like for me.

    Eew! My next door neigbours are burning their rubbish again. They are sad people.

  5. #293

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    im trying to post and BB keeps giving me errors!!!!!

    this is my 3rd time.

    i was saying

    skye, trina - so sorry abt what's happening. you girls have been fantastic mothers and wives, you deserve more. I hope the changes will make you happier. and teach hubbies a lesson. maybe they might realise their ways. either way, i hope it will give you most importantly happiness and peace.

    trina - when i come back, i could drive up to where you are, if not too far, and maybe we could do lunch or something>?, if you;d like.

    a question - do you give breastmilk/formula after a meal of solids. poopy gets too full so ive been dropping that milk feed. so 2 solids meals have replaced milk.
    should i give him milk for that feed as well?

  6. #294

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    Prama - Thanks.
    Your actually supposed to do ff/bf first as milk is the most important in the first 12 months.

  7. #295

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    Hey girls,

    Been resting last few days, had a cold which i think is clearing up..... well hopefully. We go to Byron Bay this weekend and I can't wait!!!!

    Skye - big hugs to you sweetie, I hope whatever you decide works out sounds like he isn't pulling his weight at all, and that is really hard for you.

    Trina - sorry to hear you are going through the same thing... hope summer gets better too

    Prama - I was going to ask that as well. We just gave DJ some rice porridge with some apple puree and he almost ate it all and wouldn't drink all of his milk. Only took 70ml of milk, so wondering when I should drop a feed and replace with solids.

    Trina/Prama - good idea, maybe Prama and I can drive up and meet with you so you have some company I don't mind at all either

    Danni - yeah jelly is what mine feel like as well and now I have stretch marks on my boobs and they feel all wobbly.

    Jo - great to hear from you and it sounds like everything is going so well with Caitlin, such a sweetie we started introducing solids as well with DJ, he is only 2 weeks off being 6 months and absolutely loves his solids especially when Doni feeds it to him.

    SJ - good to hear things with osteo are going well for MJ - she will be 100% before you know it

    Bron - wow on the snow!!!

    I better go put DJ to sleep and he is crying.....

    Shell xxx

  8. #296

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    shell - cool! we could go visit trina, if you'd like us to come over!
    bummer.. poopy has been having solids for brunch but i havent been givign him milk cos he eats adn then falls asleep. but i do add about 60ml of formula into his food.
    hmmm. do you give the full milk amnt, 180ml, then give solids? poopy seems happier now eating his solids and it's a big struggle getting him to finish his milk any time of day.

  9. #297

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    Prama - I'm pretty sure that they are supposed to have the full feed, then solids. Maybe you could give the bottle, then if he has a sleep wait til he wakes up, or give him the solids around the middle of feeds.
    As I said, the ff/bf is more important. It has all the nutrients etc he needs til 12 months. He may go abit longer between feeds when he has solids, but shouldn't completely cut out feeds. Maybe drop one coz he's going a bit longer between. If that makes sense.

  10. #298

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    I can come down there to meet you guys somewhere for a coffee or lunch I am coming down soon, my Dad and nearly all my friends haven't met Summer yet and i need to just go do stuff i want other than sitting around waiting for things to happen for themselves. Or of course you are welcome up here too.

    I usually give Summer a feed sort of before solids not always right before but i don't feed her solids when she is starving she is loving it so much.

    So good to hear from you Jo have been wondering where you got to. Whenever i see the hockey on i think of you.

    Enjoy Byron Shell have a drink at the pub for me hope it is nice and warm for you.

    I sorted every cupboard in my kitchen today threw out all the crap i haven't used in ages Mum came and helped it kinda made more mess though so lots more to do tomorrow. I have a really sore throat now and am aching all over poor Summy has hardly slept all day she has a squeaky voice too so must have it too.

    I am off to bed xoxox

  11. #299

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    Prama and Shell - you are meant to give them the full amount of feed and then let them tae what ever extra they want in solids.
    Milk (whether FF or BM) is still meant to be the primary source of nutrients at the moment.
    They should still be as content doing it this way round, it ensures that they get everything they need through the milk and then the soilids are extra iykwim

    Skye - it must be so hard for you especially with Jaz. I agree, 'flogging' is not the answer, unfortunatly it is hard to get people (espec men) to see that just cos they were hit when they were kids, that its not the way to parent. Have you and Anth seen a councilor? Maybe an outsider sitting and talking with you both would help you work through some of the problems.

    Trina so sorry

    Men are very often completly unaware of what needs doing. My DH, although he works ridiculously hard, comes home and treats the house like his own personal dumping ground. Its very hard at times, so i totally sympathise on that side of things.

    IT would suck to be isolated from friends, although since having MJ i have discovered that a few of my friends no longer have time for me as i cant (and dont want to) go out drinking at the pub I am actually a bit down about the frined situation as im 30 in a few weeks and the big party that i always thought i would have is not going to happen as my life has changed so much and people move on... oh well, i wouldnt swap MJ for the world.

    Danni - glad that you can get in nice bras now - i will be in big ugly mat bras for ages

    The osteo is doing wonders, although i think that she is doing too go of a job, MJ is now practicing getting up on all fours - ahhhhh im not ready for this!

    Prama and Shell - i wish i lived closer - i would come for a road trip
    In light of the topic of the day, maybe we sould all just meet up somewhere and have a big fat whinge

    Humm i thonk i hear DH's car - he has been working so hard and its bloody freezing in the factory (no heating) so i had better go and see him... its been hard, he spends 30mins with MJ in the mornings and then gets home hours after she goes to bed.... anyway, not as bad as you Skye and trina, so sorry for that...

    have a good night hope you all have a better night sleep - i will be glad when mJ rememebers how good it was to sleep right thru

  12. #300

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    oops took too long posting, syke and trina yours just popped up

  13. #301

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    arrrgh
    somethings wrong.. i keep gettign token errors and lose my post

    skye - i meant to say earlier, wish you were closer so i' could come and visit. xoxox

    sj - it would be great to meet up, huh!

    i feel awful.. poopy is so fussy with his bottle. ive been given him 2 BFs in the mornign then the next feed his solids with some formula in it. i should have given him his milk first.
    i feel terrible. it's been 2 weeks. i hope it's not so bad. he seems to enjoy his solids more than milk. i just thot, that he would get more from it as he doesnt want to finish his 180ml most times. BF at 5-6am,7-8am, then he has his solids around 10am, then FF/BF around 1pm,4pm. and solids around 7pm then milk at 9-9.30pm before bed.
    i feel so guilty for missing 2 milk feeds now..

  14. #302

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    Prama, dont worry, i am sure that there is no harm done...
    You werent to know anyway.
    Its only cos i have put off starting solids AND had an extra visit to the health nurse (cos of MJ's hips) that i knew... otherwise i would have done it the same way as you as i thought that was how it was done.
    Maybe give him the soilds after the 8am feed and see how he goes, he may not want anything until later anyway. MJ has chnaged the timing of her feeds lately and i havent even started soilids (starting Sat) so its possible that he would have changed anyway.

    Im sure he would have let you know if he was hungry anyway

    Jo - forgot to say, great to hear from you, sorry you had a bad time for a while
    We will have to find somewhere else to catch up ... soon ?

  15. #303

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    thanks sj
    are we meant to give solids straight after milk feed or wait, how long to wait?

  16. #304

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    Hummm, i was just told after a feed, but maybe you could wait a bit, well the way that im going to do it, it would probably be about 10 mins between feed and steaming the veggies... i guess within 30mins.
    Im going to the starting solids lecture Friday, i will ask for you then if it is better to wait a bit or feed straight away.

  17. #305

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    poopy is getting hopeless with his bottles, it's driving me and mum mad
    mum said in our days, they were told to give solids first, else they wont take them.
    knowing poopy's fussiness, we gave solids so at least he'd eat that.
    will let you know what happens. !! where's your lecture?

  18. #306

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    Sorry Prama went to bed :P
    Lecture is at the main CMH centre in our area - i assummed that every council funds something similar, but maybe not. We have 4 lectures that we can go along to through out our babies first coulpe of years, solidis, bringing them home, positive parenting and one other i think. Good i dea i reckon.

    Well what was i saying last night about MJ sleeping through... she did it last night i am awake only cos my boobs are full, she is still asleep. Luucky i have the breathing monitor - i freaked out this morning thinking the worst reason why i hadnt heard her in the night...
    I changed her bedding last night. popped her in a sleep suit (was given a 2nd hand one) and took some of the blankets away (i had so many layers on her they probably were heavy).. so that may have done the trick - either that or it was just a one off and i will be up aain tonight

    Anyway, have a great day everyone..

    Oh Prama - this is a silly question, but have you upped the size of the teat on the bottle lately??? Maybe its a flow thing - i know some of the girls in MG were having fussy babies at the bottle and it was cos they needed a faster flow - and poopy is almost 6mths, so he possibly needs the next size up????

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