Babies Born May 2006 #47

[Tannis]

Sheree: GL with having to active boys! Least you will have a few months before Riley is on the move. I hope you feel better soon, I haven't felt that bad with what I have, I just got the cough (which is still hanging around)

Elissa: I know its probably not alway convenient but can you take Archie swimming? That always tires Jayden out and he is guarenteed to have good sleep if we have been swimming. I love watching Jayden interact with other kids too they think they are older, its so cute!

Shazz: Sorry to hear about Sophie, just know that its got to be done for her sake. Not long before I moved to QLD I had to put my cat down, it was the hardest thing I've done but he was very sick and it was the right thing to do. Don't worry over the weight gain, you'll make it up and you have already been doing so well!

Leanne: Aww.....we'll miss you too!

Kim: Not that I've had the 2nd yet, but I don't think I'll lose the awe.....I am amazed at the things Jayden does still and get excited when he shows someone new too....I can't imagine feeling any other way.

Well I hope you are all right about it being a girl (not that I will mind a boy), so far its only 1 SIL that thinks I'm having a boy but everyone else thinks girl. I have had a gut feeling from day 1 but then I did with Jayden too, I started thinking boy with Jayden at my 12wk scan whereas this one, I've now had 2 scans and I still think girl. I felt a kick last night on the outside, so far all movement has only been felt on the inside....I was very excited.

After the scan I was kind of kicking myself that we didn't find out as now I have to wait 20wks until I find out....I hate not knowing things, but it was important to me to have the surprise at the end this time too. I told Chris if it gets the better of me I will just organise to have another scan done later on...but I think I can hold out.

Chris & I are much better now, although I was mad at him yesterday for not doing anything especially when I asked him to play with Jayden while I was doing washing and cooking a roast! Overall things are better though.

Jayden is getting a little better, he is still on AB's. His cough is still there but not as bad and no more temps, I still have my cough but I'm a mother, I can soldier on haha

Chris got up during the night and came back to bed with Jayden, said he was in the kitchen....not sure what he was doing in there but he went straight to sleep in our bed. I will have to get a gate for his bedroom, too dangerous him walking around the house at night.

[widdly]

leanne - i will miss you but good on you for doing something to help your family life be a bit more relaxed, i wish you all good things in life, hopefully i still run into you in here every now and again.

kim - i dont reckon you would lose that awe, probably you wont notice the new things quite as much cause you are busy with 2 kids not just concentrating on 1 all of the time, but i reckon it would still be exciting cause each child has their own special personality and characteristics.

christine - hi

tania - Archie sleeps fantastically after a swim too, but swimming is one of my problam anxieties so i am putting it off for a little while til i feel better, great suggestion though. i dont know how you could possibly wait another 20 weeks to find out the sex, i'd imagine a surprise at the end would be so wonderful though. Glad Jayden's feeling better, hope you do soon too. happy to hear you and Chris are gtting on better

been at the park with a friend and her little boy this morning, was so relaxing and the boys had a ball together, got a bit hot so we hadto come home, Archie is so tired but he is fighting sleep as usual

[~shazz~]

Hi everyone

Kim ~ hun the answer is NO absolutely not everyone of my kids amazed and inspired me every day and they still do all it adds is double or tripple the fun and amazement

i have no idea when our itty dog is going it is so hard she has started to eat properly again and has stopped howling in pain so i really don't think i could do it this week knowing that and as my husband said the ball is in my court

Leaane ~ i'll miss you please keep in contact our group is getting smaller and smaller

[widdly]

shazz - big hugs, what an awful decision to have to make, you will make the right decsion, just trust yourself, thinking of you.

Archie slept from 4pm til 7pm yesterday, then stayed up til 11pm Certainly wont be letting him sleep longer than 5pm ever again, he was beside himself just before so i hae thrown him in bed and am hoping for a few hours sleep for him.

[shereejoy]

Omg we have just had the biggest performance with Lachlan and I don't know how to deal with these situations and Wade does not make my job any easier.

Sorry no personals, I haven't read the posts, I am a bit worked up at present.

I just don't know what to do in this situation:

Lachlan for the last few nights has not been eating well at all. We were on a weeks good run and thought he had turned a corner, but I was very very wrong.

He has been requesting milk after a couple of bites of his dinner. Wade said just give him a little and I said no, he is not replacing meals with Milk. Anyway after 1/2 an hour of him crying so much at the fridge he was hysterical and was gasping for breathe. I heard quiteness and Wade had taken him into our room and given him some of his milo. I walked in there and lachlan was swigging from his cup and spilling it all over the carpet! I grabbed Lachlan from Wade and he started carrying on again. I put him in his room and closed the door for 5 mins. This did not work (first time I have tried this). Ignoring him in our house was not working so I wondered if putting him behind a closed door would work, but nope he was more hysterical then ever. I took him outside to try to distract him, nothing worked. Wade then gave him a little bit of milk in his sippy cup and he said more, I said no and told Wade to put him in the bath. Maybe I should have just given him a sip, but I just don't want the milk to be a replacement thing for meals, we have been thru tooooo much. I just don't know how to handle these tanties, they are happening so much lately. He is just so attached to things, he has to take 3 x elmo's to bed, big bird, ernie, cookie monster, baby, toot toot, and all the wiggles figerines. Is this an example of us giving into him to much? Last night I put a new pair of elmo pj's on him (winter ones - only the bottoms). This morning when I dressed him again he chucked a big na-na about me taking them off him, that in order for him to eat his breakfast I had to put them back on over his daycare clothes. I then brushed his teeth with his elmo pj's on, then quickly dashed out of the door. He was crying but he settled. I just can't believe how attached he is to things, I am sure this is what is spurring his tantrums. I know probably all kids go thru this, but I never thought this bad and I am having trouble trying to work out how to deal with it. Do you keep giving in or do you be strong. Being strong was not going to work tonight, nor was it this morning. What do I do next?

Sorry for the big speal, but I am in desperate need of help. I don't want to make him more upset, but he can't think he can get whatever he wants whenever he wants and Wade's discipline is just too loose and he doesn't work with me!!!!

[~Kim~]

Hey chick, I don't know that I can offer much advice right now.

I know Darcy doesn't respond to a closed door either. She freaks right out. I don't think i have the right to make her worse then expect her to be remorseful for going off so I don't do anything that will agravate her when she's like that.
She also doesn't understand 'later' or 'after' so negotiation is next to impossible.
Don't get me wrong, I don't tolerate crap or give in - I just give another option. Remove her and make light of the situation. Force my voice to be bright and chirpy and give her something else to focus on. The teeth and dashing was a great idea cos it gave him something else to focus on.

Sometimes when she's nuts blowing in her face gets her to take anothre breath and gives me time to say "Are you finished being silly?".

They don't understand 'punishment' at this age either - thier brains are just too immature. Don't get me wrong they understand being naughty, just not consequence yet.

Darcy won't let me brush her hair in the morning - so she goes to school looking like she just got out of bed - cos she did. I've learnt to pick my battles. My world isn't going to stop if she goes to school like that.

I reckon you're pretty spot on about his passion for things. It's just that they can't voice their frustation in a controlled manner - they just don't know how. He doesn't understand that his world is not going to stop if he can't have his.....whatever IYKWIM.

Don't get me wrong...I've looked into those tantruming eyes and wanted to shake her hard and scream. I am normal, but I just choose not to.

[shereejoy]

Thanks so much Kim, I really appreciate all that you said. I know we give into lachlan way too much, but I know in so many cases with him things do just eventually work themselves out and I am like you, want to try things but then I think at the end of the day we know our children allll too well and know that certain things won't work before we even try. I know all children are like this, but sometimes there is so much pressure from my family ie: my sister's daughter has never chucked a tantrum in her life (yeah right) and my parents are whispering in my ear so many times - well don't give into him, bit of discipline won't go astray etc. etc.... I think for my parents though they see how soft Wade is and realise that there is need for some structure, but what can I do, I can't change Wade. So that is def the other pressures I have to deal with, but really did their discipline work either? Wade was never hit a day in his life and he is as sensible as they come. So I am a true believer that what works for one won't necessarily work for another, but I guess we are at the stage of OMG what works! Giving in of course!!! Is that going to cause any long term effects really???? That is my question, and your answer would be "if only I had a crystal ball". Gosh it is so hard to know how to handle it all and I guess I will be judged either way.

[shereejoy]

Oh and btw my huge belly photo's are in my photo gallery.

[widdly]

sheree - the photos are gorgeous, you look like a beautiful blossoming pregnant woman. You do have a big belly, were you big with Lachlan, or is it cause its a second bub? I really dont know what you can do with Lachlan, he sounds likea very passionate, frustrated little boy who desperately wants to control his world but is too little to. I agree with everything Kim said. It must make it extroadinrily hard that Wade isn't on the same page as you Re discipline. Try not to worry about what anyone else thinks about the way you do or dont discipline Lachlan, he is your child and its you who lives with him and knows him. I often give into Archie when he loses it because he can't have what he wants, i figure at this age they are still too young to reason with and giving into them every now and them isn't gonna turn them into spoilt brats. Your situation with Lachlan wanting milk instead of food is a really difficut one i understand how torn and confused you must be after all the hard work you have done with him to get him to this stage. Im thinking that giving into him and letting him have milk instead of food isn't gonna help the food situation at all. Have you tried only serving him a very small protion of food, so that when he looks at it he doesn't feel overwhelmed that he has to eat lots of food? Maybe if you only give him a very small amount, like a few mouthfuls and tell him that when he has eaten his food he can have milk. If it works then slowly slowly increase the portion of food til he is eating a decent meal before he gets the milk, just an idea.

Archie isn't well atm, not sure whats wrong, he was burningup last night and shivering all night, panadol bought the temp down but he still had the shivers and didn't sleep much, hasn't eaten much at all today and is lethargic. I have put him to bed for a rest but he is happily playing in there, who knows!

[shereejoy]

Elissa both you and Kim are both on my wave length, I can always be gauranteed for the undestanding and support I need and for that a big thank you goes your way. I am willing to try anything so will try your suggestion.

I don't really have an issue with what Lachlan takes to bed, just can't believe the attachment he has to things. But it is a good thing as we can bribe him into bed.

I have given this all alot of thought after last nights performance and I do agree that I do have to choose my battles and he is still quite young to understand too.

It is just hard when both Wade and i have a different idea on discipline, but then I don't really know what I want to do either, just know that I am the bad guy out of the two of us. Just to give you an example wade said infront of me the other day "mummy will give you a smack if you do it again". WTF!!! I was furious.

If you knew Wade too, you would know that I cannot change him in his views of discipline. Lachlan is his best mate and he adores his son. Wade never got hit a day in his life, but he has turned out to be a wonderful person and dad. Whereas I was hit alot and for no reason at all and don't believe it is the only answer either, but a wack here and there if naughty will not hurt them either. That is my view.

I guess I will just see what happens and try not to let it get to me. This is all so new to me, this toddler / tantrum throwing. I mean he has, but not to this degree.....

At the end of the day he is a good boy and they all go thru it and I am a bit beleiver that things will eventually work themselves out as they always have with my child and I have had so many doubts about so many things in the past.

We have had so many issues with his eating. Lachlan was tube fed at 5 mths for 2mths as he would only drink 10-20ml of his bottle and bat it away, he was loosing alot of weight and was in hospital for 2mths also. Now he loves his milk, go figure!!! I guess I just don't want to go back there and replace meals with milk, cause I know that is where he wants to go atm and we have been thru too much to go back there. As you all know.

Lachlan gets a sippy cup of milk after breakfast in the morning and 2 hours after his night time meal just b4 bed, we have done this for a while now and he loves his milk I cannot take that away from him, but it is when he has 2 spoons of dinner and chucks the biggest tanty that he then wants milk and seirously right nor wrong he was getting it (we persisted for 3/4 of an hour in the end), that is the worry for us!

But all that was yesterday, today is a different day (but then this has been slightly happening for the last few days, but hopefully he is over it now).

Thanks again for your support and advice.

[~Kim~]

I agree with you Sheree, that is so hard with Wade on a totally different wavelength. The Dragon has her phases too. Yesterday was a childcare day wasn't it? Is it possible he was just tired and ready to go to sleep and so wanted his milk? Maybe he felt like he was too tired to eat and the only way he knew to get to bed was to have the milk first because you always do it that way? I know Darcy asks for a bottle instead of dinner when she's really tired and just wants to go to sleep. That is often after a daycare day.

Yeah parents...mine would never dare tell me how to raise my kids...and the set that tried got told quite swiftly. I do understand the pressure though. lol I'm lucky I've got the reverse. Darcy isn't nearly as bad as my nephew....but my sister can turn that into a negative cos I'm sooo perfect - NOT.
BTW you look great! Haircut is cool too!!!!

ELissa, hope Archie's all right.

[shereejoy]

Ohhh yeah Elissa I read that about Archie, sorry must have been self absorbed. Hope he is ok. Lachlan did the same about a month ago, high temp and shaking. Turned out he had a touch of a gastro bug going around. Lachlan had goose pimples and was quivering and yet he had a temp, really weird these children of ours. Hope he feels better soon.


Thanks again Kim, I feel so much better today and mainly due to you girls.

Yes it was a daycare day, but that was his 2nd day and nope this was at 7pm and he didn't go to bed till 9pm, but who knows I actually at times give up trying to work him out, might try to take note of that 2nite though. My child doesn't want to go to bed at nite, we have been struggeling for the last monthish to get him to bed.

Yeah my parents were very strict on us 3 girls, particularly me, so I know no different, but maybe Wade's way is right, I mean what would I know!!!

I have the opposite with my sister, her daughter was the perfect one and she really was a good baby. She turns 4 in June and it has only been of late that Nik is having a few issues with her. But until now she has been a dream child. But she is the one that looks down on me if I don't rouse on Lachlan at her place ie: I let Lachlan get on our lounge and walk along it and she and her partner were continually getting up him to get off. Among other things, but that was the one I could think of. Lachlan has always been a climber and he is happy and we never looked at it as a concern, so it is hard to tell him no when we let him.

I just hope their next child ( a boy ) gives them a bit of grief, then they will know they are alive hehe.

[mrsmac]

Its easy to judge other people when you have never been in their shoes isn't it?? I hope your sister has a boy too Sheree cause then she'll know she's alive LOL I used to look down on "uncontrolled children" who were being a bit wild when Jess was little and I truly thought she was so good cause I was just such a great mother!! Reality and other children make me cringe when I think of it now!!! Riley is the kid I glared at then!!! I, like Kim, choose my battles with Riley, I think now I was far too hard on Jess who was a really really good kid anyway (THEN!!!)
It never seems to get easier hun, I feel really comfortable with Erin and Riley and parenting them but Jess as a teen is a whole new ball game and I am constantly questioning my parenting decisions- I feel like I am lost and have no idea how to mother a teenager. DH also is much tougher and harder than I am so she resents him so its very tricky.
Anyway enough of my rambling, love to you all, motherhood is bloody hard and we all deserve medals LOL

[~Kim~]

here here!

[pinkfrog]

kim - don't worry, you still have the awe for each child. They are all so different and continue to make me smile (and cringe) each day.

sheree - being a mum is soooo hard. I struggle with the discipline but mainly so with dylan. i just don't know how to handle 5yo boys. For me, I do let alot of the little things go. WIth the attachment, my girls are both very set in what they wear and I've always just let them wear what they want. This has meant that mel's gone to cc in her pj's and often wears a tutu to cc. Clothing is not something I care to fight about. Some of their outfits make me laugh, its a bit easier to get Hayley to change now but no chance with mel yet. I also don't worry so much about climbing (adam is SUCH a climber). I don't know what to say about the food issues, you've had so many with him and you always handle it well so I think only you know your child. You and wade do need to be on the same level with discipline though. DH and I constantly discuss what we do and try to make sure that we are doing the same thing with dylan. Right now we are rewarding the good behaviour (with reward chart) and time out for the bad. I have to constantly remind DH not to remove rewards due to bad behaviour.

I'd like to say it gets easier but the way Dylan is, I'm not too sure.

elissa - hope archie is feeling better tomorrow.

[shereejoy]

Cheers to everything you have both said. You guys are the best! Hugs all round I say!

I think it is just like you never stop worrying about your children too! I relate that to the same if it is not this it is something else you have to deal with with your children now or later, there are soooo many different stages and ages and you are right it probably doesn't ever get any easier. Aggggh us mothers are the best aren't we?? Hehe

Well no trantrum 2nite, he went to the fridge alot later 2nite and wanted milk and started whinging but I said no we will have a bath and then you can have your milk. It appeared to work, kinda, well no way near as bad as last night.

Still wouldn't eat his dinner thou!!! Gawd just when we thought we had turned a corner. My paed was sooo right, he is def going to be an up and down kind of kid.

Please please please god, make my next baby eat!!!!

[mrsmac]

Riley doesn't eat much dinner either Sheree, he eats well during the day and has a small dinner then milk before bed. The dieticians say breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a pauper is better for your health so i tend not to stress too much about dinner. Last night he ate a sausage thats it.

[shereejoy]

Thanks Christine.

Lachlan has a big brekky being a weetbix mixed with fruit puree and yoghurt. I feed it to him otherwise he won't eat it. He knows milk is coming so I have that in my favour.

For lunch he eats stuff all, maybe a ham stick and a crusket. Sometimes yoghurt. But generally looks at food and lunch and has a bite or two and that is it!

For tea 2nite he chewed on a bit of steak that daddy gave him a bit too tuff and he spat out after a minute of chewing. He pulled apart a bit of bread and ate a bit. He loves his ham sticks, so seeing as he wouldn't touch anything else on his plate I gave him 2 x ham sticks.

Then he had his milk 1/2 hour b4 bed.