Tara mate if you need to phone or vent or scream or cry its okay. I hope you are okay. I found the first year with Jovie to be really hard. Having two.
We still own our house in Brissy.... I wonder if its still okay...
we've had a lot of rain, thunder, lightning, winds but we're all safe...i would assume v is flooded in...
thanks christy, thanks to the storm last night i switched around my bedtime routine which worked a treat, so much less stressful.
bbl...a pooing baby on my lap and a lovely toddler pulliung my handbag apart. typing one handed aint easy
oh sorry gigi...what happened with the vandals? i missed that. good job on the photographer...poo about dh's tax return!
i'm not flooded in yet. the creek is very high, and if we get more storms as they are predicting, good chance that we will be. oh well. i'm getting used to it now.
Kim...You are so lucky having a boy after 2 girls!!! I wouldnt mind having another bub and I would love a girl but the odds arnt to favourable..after 2 boys!!! did you guys try anything like timing intercourse etc to tip the odds??? Im tracking my cycle as we are using natural family plannng. I have been looking at the shettles method etc but there are a couple of conflicting theories....has anyone tried any of these????
Im taking Zander to lollipops playland for his birthday next friday and I have ordered him a bob the builder birthday cake..we wont be having a party as we dont really know any other kids, my parents are coming up from brisbane for his birthday and we will be going to the aquarium and to magnetic island together so that should be fun.
Anyway its been getting really warm and muggy here...over 30deg during the day and an overnight low of 26.....so my daily mission is to keep everyone cool and make sure the boys are having enough fluid..better go hope everyone is doing ok..bye for now
Not good about the vandals Gigi...little buggers arent they. Poor Bilby being pulled by the arm..is she ok now?
Glad your not flooded in (yet) V!
Nicola we did gender sway for a boy this time and was a bit worried id muddled the timing up....but i guess i was spot on!! My GP says its easier to get a girl then it is a boy.....so give it a go, can only end up with a 3rd DS! I was actually told at 19 weeks i was having a girl....then at 21 weeks a boy!
AFM....just got home fromt he hospital...im GD free!! Yeehaw! Bub going well...the OB said from feeling around bub is going to be small....(ill believe it on D day...), still head down and engaged. Asked about delayed cord clamping and she was impressed i was even considering it!
Its not clamping the cord until it stops pulsating. Jovie's cord wasn't clamped until it stopped pulsating. My midwives were all super happy to hear it... one asked me about lotus birth, but I wasn't prepared to carry around a placenta until the cord fell away.
Im thinking of delayed clamping and then they can jab me to get the placenta out...i was thinking of a physcological (sp?) end to what i haope is a great birth but i want the placenta out soon after the cord has stopped....so a middle ground to 3 different options....
1. Active management
2. What i want
3. Delayed clamping and let nature take its course delivering the placenta
BellyBelly Life Member - Love all your MCN friends
Jun 2004
The Festival State
3,008
i wanted delayed clamping, and to leave the vermix on bilby for a few days. to have bilby put on my stomach and to have her first feed straightaway, no being taken away for checks, the checks to be done on her whilst she's on my stomach/chest. and candlelight, not bright lights. soft music. few people. The circus (ambulance ride followed by emergency c-section) stopped any of that.
my nightmare has multiplied. i now am in debt for nearly 20k, all down to dh not filing last two year's tax returns. he has no idea why i am so devastated. i have NEVER been in debt before. Now i will be a person with a bad credit rating. i've never had a loan before, but that's not the point. he hasn't apologised, just told me off for losing weight - conveniently avoiding the fact that that's what happens when i'm under stress - the stress he's putting me thru. Sexually Transmitted Debt i think you call this. the person who loves me, his actions impacting on me and bilby. all i ever hear is, don't nag me, the tax is being done. i'm so sick of hearing that lie.
if i had his group certificates and super documents (the essential stuff), i would take them to an accountatnt and pay for the two returns to be done. just to have this over. instead, he won't look for the important documents, won't ask for copies from pay office and super funds, just ****es around with a database with all the ****y receipts for work related expenses. the non-essential stuff.
i would really miss you lot if i did not have a computer. if i leave him, i will have no computer. the stress of his financial irresponsibility is wearing me down. but bilby is so bonded to him and he is very good with her. i am so torn. if i go, i go without whitegoods, bed, prolly only cot for bilby. i feel sick with worry.
makes the two vandal attacks on his car ($1,000 in insurance excesses), and the threats from the behind us neighbour (dh won't tell cops), pale into comparision.
Sorry to hear that you husband is being so selfish and mean...I couldnt imagine what you must be feeling and it to all be over a stupid tax return..that can be easily filed!!!!
Do you have any family that can help out if you wanted to leave him???? I can understand not wanting to leave because of Bilby, but it comes down to weighng up the pro's and con's. I have been very close to leaving DH a few times (due to us arguing constantly and lack of support from him) I wouldnt even have a car if I left...its not just as simple as packing up and walking out the door is it.
Can you explain the situation to Centrelink..maybe they might know of somewhere where you can get some help/councelling????
Gigi....i dont understand why your the one copping it when its DH that hasnt done the return....hmm but then again i know Centrelink is in my name....so i guess the burden falls to me if we over estimate and have to pay them money back too. Far out babe...id be doing what Nicola said, speak to Centrelink and see how they can help....how do they expect YOU to pay somethign back if you dont work and earn the money (is DH working...did he get that job ages back?).
I so know that feeling of not knowing what to do. Its how I felt before I left the exH. I was desperately unhappy, but felt so incredibly guilty about taking the kids away from their father. In the end it was me ending up in hospital that pushed my decision. His complete lack of ability to support me in a time when I needed support more then I had ever needed was the clincher. He also ended up giving me a centrelink debt, because he lied, and said that he had the kids for a certain amount of time when he didnt. for me to prove otherwise required more energy then I had, we were at court already regarding visitation, so I let it go. I discussed with centrelink that I was unable to pay back the amount that they had set, and we negotiated a lesser amount per fortnight.
Would your DP go to counselling? sometimes having that third person can lend some objectivity to the situation and can help him to HEAR what you are saying. I wish I could say something to make it better hun. thinking of you
Gigi hugs for you
I know that spiralling out of control feeling when debts and bills start to pile up and there is no way out... I have no suggestion re leaving DH except this:
as most of you know my childhood was a constant spiral of debt and debtors, alcoholism and abuse in all forms and I always remember thinking about my mum's actions -why the hell do you just not leave. When we were adults and she finally left him after 30 years of crap I asked her why she took so long. Her answer was that she was scared that if she left him it would only be with her clothes and her 5 children and nothing else. No car, fridge, beds etc. She also said in hindsight if only she knew there were people and places out there who help women in this position - regardless of the situation being alcoholism, abuse, neglect, bankruptcy etc. - if only she was more aware and proactive.... As an adult I only wish she had have left years and years earlier so that SHE had more quality life than she did. Kids survive and adapt, you need to think about you.
Hmmmm regarding the debt ring centrelink and talk to them, even better go to a family service office and they can lay it on the table for you and you can open the dialogue with a view to resolution.
Big hugs hun xxx
Gigi - big big hugs to you. I agree with what the girls have said so far and i'm glad that you feel you can turn to us. This ol' internet thing really is a lifeline at times.
I agree, talk to centrelink..they are meant to be there to help!
I know you said this debt isnt your fault, but i'm pretty sure when DH had trouble with tax debt a few years ago (young and naive lol - we just sold his car to pay it off - a stupid decision in the end!) anyways, he since found out that he could pay the debt back over time - he didnt have to pay it out as a lump sum. and i know the amount wasnt much. it was an $8000 debt that he could pay back at $6 a week or something stupid like that. I'm not saying that i think you should have to pay it back - but if it comes down to the wire thats always something you can look into.
I also agree with nelly. There's no point in staying for the sake of bilby if the quality of life is crap. if you are constantly arguing then thats not a good environment at all for her.
I guess it comes down to - do you feel that YOU want to put the effort in? do YOU want to make it work with DH?
It's worth reading 'men are from mars, women are from venus'. we are COMPLETELY different species. I guarantee your DH's non-commital attitude towards this debt is because he feels guilty and embarrassed for putting you in this situation. In all honesty - he probably doesnt know what to do about it and feels stuck.
I'm not making excuses for his behaviour - just offering possible reasons.
Anyway, hope thats of some help
Oh re: cord clamping. I wish I had known about it! I probably should have done a bit more research LOL oh well...i guess i did my best. no drugs and waterbirths have to account for something!!! lmao
(just making myself feel better) hahaha
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