hey girls thanks so much for the support.. atm i am trying to handle things myself (well ive got you guys too!!) having lived with varying mental conditions all my life i do know how to recognise the signs.. i am still taking time for myself and getting a good amount of aggression out atthe gym through pump and body attack classes which make me feel better.. also things like just laying in the bath with ash, creating calm situations in which we just stare at eachother really helps me to unwind and make sure i keep the close bond i have with her even if sometimes i feel angry, i'm sure its good for her to feel a nice calm situation with mummy too.. am trying to play with her more and include her in what i do like today i took the jumperoo outside while i hung the clothes on the line instead of leaving her inside in her bouncer or something.. basically just taking small steps with the occassional vent here and there lol and seeing how that goes for now...