Babies born ~ March 1-15 2010 # 3

[roxxie]

Cass - Sorry, meant to reply to you ages ago but it slipped my mind! I don't know what you can do really, if he's not doing it at home then you can't do a lot. Lacie has been going through stages of hitting and pulling the animals tails, and everything I've read says to just make eye contact and say firmly 'no, we don't do that, I understand you are tired/frustrated/whatever but it is not okay to hit/bite/whatever'. It worked well on the hitting but hasn't made any difference with the poor animals, I think our cat is going to have a permanently bent tail if she doesn't stop soon.

They do seem to pick up a lot at childcare. Did they give you any suggestions on how to handle it? I know at our childcare they have a range of leaflets on biting etc and how to manage those behaviours. They deal with it all day every day, I'm sure they would have some good tips for you!

[Cass72]

Hello Roxie.

The carers in Robert’s room have put in place a few strategies to deal with biters. One is to “shadow” the children who are biting so they can intervene before they actually bite, which is referred to as distract/deflect. When a child is bitten, what they do is remove the child who has done the biting telling them that they don’t bite their friends. Then they turn their back on that child and will give cuddles and attention to the child who was bitten (they also put an icepack on the bite mark). When older children bite, they make that child administer the “first aid” (icepack). The children are never put in a naughty corner/spot as it’s against regulations in centres – I personally don’t like the idea of a naughty corner either for bubs under 2 (maybe even 3) as I don’t (personally) think that they have a proper understanding of what it is that they have done. I think they’re like dogs with the three second memory thing.

The main carer in his room is also trying a new strategy with Robert. If Robert appears to go to bite another child (or carer!) she will touch his arm and just say, Robert we don’t bite our friends. This has started to work. Over the weekend he tried to bite me and I did the same thing. He stared at me as if he was going to give it a go anyway, but ended up turning away and finding something else to do. He did this a few times and I just repeated it.

They hand out a brochure at the centre if your child bites (or is bitten).

I do find though that if Robert is over-tired or, over-stimulated he will exhibit this “destructo” behaviour. I just speak calmly to him (and try not to raise my voice or get upset over it) and try the distract/deflect thing.

[LilsJula]

Hi ladies

Squid - Sophie is just 9kg - so little too!!

Bree - After my first the urge to have a second was really strong just after he turned one - and at 15 months old, I was pregnant again with Sophie!!! Must be a hormonal thing...but this time no urges at all!!!!!! Two is hard work - three seems too daunting!

Cass - How's Robert's asthma? My son has asthma in winter when he gets sick - hard to get used to! My Sophie is a biter - she has learnt it is the only way she can get back at her older brother as he cries. She is worse when she is teething. We do the time out thing and make her sorry (solly is her words).

Deedles - I hope your boys are better. My two were sick for the first three weeks on june and it is exhausting!!! You just battle through!

Fiejola Mum - I love the fast walk action - so cute. Soph's 4 molars were all moving at once too. The top two are through and the bottom two are nearly right through.

Roxie - breakfast ideas are baked beans, poached or scrambled eggs, sausages, cheese on toast....these are favourites in my house. I find this age is where they start the battle re food as well as sitting to eat. Soph is out of the high chair - has been since 11 months and sit at a little table she gets up and down out of the seat but is improving. I read some great advice (can't remember where) that said think about your child's eating balance over a week - not a day or a meal. Some days they eat more and others less. Some days great food variety and others not but over that week if it seems pretty good then great! I thought this advice was great as then you don't get into battles over a meal and this is the age for trying any strategy to get attention!!! Damn them for working that out!!!!

It has been super busy here - with balancing work and home and sick kids for nearly all of june. But we made it through, as always.

I went to this horrible paed in May about Sophie's constant waking at night as I was worried she may have food intolerances and he told how it was all my fault because I don't control cry that she doesn't sleep. He was so condescending trying to show me sleep cycles as through I was an uneducated twit - little did he know that I have studies development psych at uni!

Anyway I have her on lactose free formula at the moment and she is beginning to sleep (at times) for blocks of 5 hours. My son is lactose intolerant and I thought I would give it a go.

I have also stopped breastfeeding. Whilst she was sick she just stopped and now its been three weeks, so I guess it's all done! It has been a long breastfeeding history for me. 18mths with my son who stopped when I was 5 mths pregnant with Soph - a couple of months off while pregnant - then 15 months with Sophie! So I am happy to have my body back and glad she just stopped of her own accord and I was starting to wish she would finish up!!!

In the last week or so I have found Sophie becoming more and more independent and just that little bit easier - which is great! I remember loving 18mths - 2yrs with Will and am hoping Sophie hits that beautiful phase soon - they just love exploring the world and have some skills to do so but the massive tanties haven't started!!!

The development is so rapid at this age too isn't it...a couple of weeks go by and you look at them and think - how did you get to be like this so quickly!!! Every day more and more words are used and they interact as a part of the family....so cute!!!!

Hope everyone is feeling better

[Cass72]

Hello LJ

We appear to be making some headway with Robert's biting. The incidents are becoming further apart which is great. Whenever he tries for a bite I calmly tell him no, we don't do that.

His asthma seems to be okay. No repeat performances but he's also been "cold free" for a few weeks - roll on summer!!!

His latest new trick is climbing! He loves to climb on everything. We are expecting to become regular visitors at casualty with broken/sprained limbs as he progresses to climbing higher and getting more game! Argh!!!! I don't know how we are going to control/stop that. I guess we have to make sure that he can safely get back down again. Thank goodness the fisher price activity table is sturdy and stable as he likes to stand on it.

Well, it's Sunday morning and I'm still in my PJs so I think I'll go and get ready for the day......hmmmm, or maybe I'll just watch a girly movie while Robert is sleeping!!

[Cass72]

Hello! Hello! Anyone about???

[Cass72]

Where the heck are you ladies?!!! Okay, so I know most of you are on FB but there are things I just can't post there!

Can you believe that it's been 18 months (or thereabouts) since our little ones first made their appearance in our world ...add another 9 months to that, and well I've been chatting to you lovelies for just over two years.

Somewhere along the last couple of months our dear little one has turned into a demanding little so-and-so! He sits in his highchair like lord and master and says "mine, mine, mine" - kind of like the seagulls on Finding Nemo. How on earth do we stop that? I know it's my fault because I've found myself passing him what it is he clearly wants but now that he's starting to talk I would prefer him to ask for it rather than the seagull approach. I know he's only 18 months and, well if I'm honest it's kind of cute when he does it, but I don't want him to be 2 or 3 and still carrying on like that. I'm worried that I've created a spoilt brat -Any ideas?

On another note, it was our 4th wedding anniversary yesterday and my wonderful husband surprised me with a huge bunch of flowers and fruit basket delivered to work.

[Sunny Love]

Hiya Cass! I never come through the baby buddy thread, same as the belly buddy thread actually, im pretty general (boring!)
Congrats on your 4th wedding anniversary, the flowers looked beautiful

Our DD is a right little brat too, although I could use another B word that sums up her whole ****ty attitude sometimes! She too *whinges or *tantrums for particular things (usually food or drink!). At the moment she *refuses to drink anything without colour, where on earth did that BS come from! Making her drink plain water is now a mission! Ive had to let myself relax a little and just use very weak sugar free cordial for my diabetic nana as her daily 'juice'. Oh, did I mention she can only drink out of her baby bottle now too, probably because she wants to be a baby again like her new little DS (whom she is most jealous of and dangerous at times to have around!) She goes through food phases, where it can only be acceptable to eat of a particular plate, and sometimes she screams for more, only too play with it. She hasn't been a biter (yet, im sure it'll come soon!)
At this age, their frontal lobes are still developing, there's so much going on around them, they're capable of some things but then restricted still by those developing abilities....I try to remind myself about all this stuff just so I can re-centre myself before her behaviour affects me, and then a horrible afternoon/night eventuates.
Its hard, I just wanted to pat you on the back and say that at no point have you let your beautiful DS or you down. Just keep talking and explaining in language he will be able to intepret, and using non-verbal actions to to explain. I always find distraction and removing DD from the area she is in to somewhere helps (not always) to at least stop the behaviour and give her opportunity to start over before getting worked up. Remember, he will be more capable soon of controlling his impulses, but for now, its a ****ty time for us parents dealing with it at the forefront day in, day out........

ATM we're really trying to suss TT with her, she runs around the house and outside with her knickies on, but never seems to let me know until after (and even sometimes then she'd rather keep playing in her own wee than tell me!). DP and I are very confused about how to do it, what to expect etc. Its the hardest thing we've had to try and 'teach' to her. Any advice?

Wow, I must sound like a real wench :/

[Cass72]

She goes through food phases, where it can only be acceptable to eat of a particular plate, and sometimes she screams for more, only too play with it.

...

I always find distraction and removing DD from the area she is in to somewhere helps (not always) to at least stop the behaviour and give her opportunity to start over before getting worked up.

Exactly that!!! So nice to know I'm not on my own!

I'm not even going to attempt TT until summer is well and truly here - maybe wait until I take leave over christmas. Luckily the childcare centre are supportive and will help with that. I have no real advice to offer except.... buy loads of knickers! I remember that DS1 used to hide whenever he had to do number twos! He would sit on the toilet for ages with a book quite happily, pee on a lemon tree or in the toilet but it took me ages to get him to do a poo in the toilet! When he finally did I made a huge deal out of it after that it seemed to go fairly easily. I did find that letting him wear pants so he was uncomfortable when he was wet seemed to get the message across - disposables make them way too comfortable and they don't seem to notice that they've peed.

Good luck!

[roxxie]

Just a quick reply to you Cass... Lacie does the same thing, although her word is more. I was going bonkers hearing 'more! more! more!' all the time, so I decided a week or so ago that she wouldn't be getting whatever it was until she said please. It took about a day for her to work it out, and a few stroppy sessions during that day. Just lots of repetition, every time she forgets and says 'More!' I say 'pardon? more PLEASE' and when she says it back then she gets whatever it is she wants. It's quite cute, she can't say please very clearly so she says pis*y I have to try not to laugh when I get asked 'more pis*y'. Hope that is of some help to you xxx

[Cass72]

Ah Roxxie, you crack me up!!

Robert had his chicken pox vacc today. DH took him and apparently he was a little trooper - one little squeal then he was over it. It narks me though that I have to take him to another clinic for his 18 month check up - you know weight and all that. They only do jabs at the clinic he went to today. Besides that, DH told me that we have to give Robert plenty of fluids and no aspirin (well, duh! like I'd give that to a baby) which includes bonjela... huh, wtf?! So then I googled bonjela and quickly decided that I'll never give it to him again. He's had a terrible time of late cutting his cuspid teeth ("stomach teeth") so now I'm at a loss of what to do. I've got the hylands gel, but that doesn't seem to do anything. I feel sorry for the poor little poppit when whe bites/chews and then cries because it's obviously sore.

Any ideas?

[Cass72]

I've probably just jinxed myself but....

Robert has been sleeping through (I mean properly "didn't get up for him at all") for the past 6 consecutive nights!

[roxxie]

jealous of you Cass!

We are going through increased night terrors here. Lacie is screaming out 'no! no!' in the night multiple times and thrashing about, not fully waking but it's obviously disturbing her sleep. She is refusing to sleep in the day because she's so scared. We had a tantrum like nothing I'd ever seen before today at nap time. I honestly thought she was going to do herself an injury. I have never, ever seen her so distressed and angry. All I could do was hold her until she started to calm down, then ask her what she wanted and she went and lay on her bed. I lay next to her and stroked her hair until she fell asleep.

She isn't eating hardly at all, is completely exhausted all the time. She never wakes up happy, within half an hour of waking she's ready for another sleep but refuses to go down due to the fear etc.

Does anyone have any advice for me? I'm tearing my hair out and its awful watching her go through this and not knowing how to make it all better

[Cass72]

Oh Roxxie, that's awful for you and her. I don't have any advice as I haven't been there. Is it an option for someone to sleep in her room? Does she have a night light? One of the mums at the childcare centre was saying that her little one was doing something similar the other week. after getting up to him a few times during the night she noticedhe stopped freaking out when she turned the hall light on. Good luck hun, I hope it gets better.

[Deedles]

So I just thought I'd pop in and say Hello

How are all our toddlers going? What have you all been up to.

Well Lenny is in daycare 2 days a week and is doing great. He loves his teachers and is pretty good at drop off, though by 3.30pm he has his bag on and has a lil cry for mum n dad but I make sure I am there on the dot to pick him up!

Toilet training has just hit success and pees and poos in the potty/toilet by himself and even goes and does it by himself, takes his pants and undies off n pops up on the loo then I hear a "MUMMY, Big poos finished" he he he.
It has taken a while but that is all ok with me.

can't believe just how big he is and such a copy cat of his brother.

Hope your all doing good!!

[CinderToriella]

Hi thought I would see if anyone is still around and how your little ones were doing now ?

[Sunny Love]

Im here
DD is now fully toilet trained through the day, and my gosh, what a relief!!! Nightime is different, still in nappies and loving her milk
DD is getting MUCH better with her social skills, ie sharing & appropriate introductions to different play scenarios. Seems she is a lot like me, more than I like really She's very headstrong, loud, a definite leader, bossy & smart. Just ask DS 2011, poor thing is ruled by her most days!

[Cass72]

I'm still here too!

DS2 is also toilet trained and, more recently, decided to stop the night time nappy. Totally his decision and (hope I don't jinx myself) it's been completely successful. Yes, we have a few setbacks but on the whole he's doing really really well. I don't even mind the 3am wake ups to take him to the toilet.

He has a foul temper when he wants to let it show (gets that from me) and is precocious and daring (he gets that from his father) but totally loveable, funny, kind-hearted and clever.

His favourite thing he has discovered is lego (the grown-up stuff) DH, DS2 and I spent last friday night building lego creations...it was fun! Thankfully I kept all of DS1s lego so we won't have to be any...ever!

[Deedles]

I'm around too!

DS2 is going good ATM. He was diagnosed with Glandular Fever last Oct and has been sick on and off since then. We have a referral to a paediatrician to get him checked out.

He is still wearing pull ups to bed and I am fine with that. DS1 wore them until the beginning of prep and hasn't had one wet bed so I hope DS2 transitions just as well.

He is at kindy 3 days a week and loves it! The teachers always tell me that he is their favourite lol. He is a funny lil thing.

Great to see you all back in here!