Sorry everyone, this is going to be a completely selfish post. I feel like crap. My neck and back have been really good lately and I think I got a bit over confident and tried to breastfeed without a pillow while we were out yesterday and I've completely buggered my back. I feel like someone has stabbed me in the centre of my back around my bra line. I've got pain and tingling in my arm as well. It has been so good to feel like I'm coping and now I feel like its all going to s*&%. And Matilda won't sleep. Everytime I get her to sleep she wakes up about 10 minutes later. Which means I'm probably in for a horror evening tonight. She is just so bad at sleeping during the day unless we're in the car. And its not like she doesn't need it. She's in a horrible state by the end of the day when she cat naps like this. When my back is like this even folding up laundry is a drama. Let alone carrying a 5.5kg baby, burping her, feeding her, trying to be in a good mood for her! So I feel like a crap mother to boot. I think I'm in real danger of getting depressed. Sorry for dumping all this on you all.


Even in hospital last week she was rubbing in that she got the deluxe double room, I only got the double room and also she was the 30,000th person to give birth at that hospital (we were at the same one with the same OB) so she got a massive gift basket from the hospital and her photo in the local paper. I don't care but she made a big thing about it like showing off. I probably sound jealous but I'm not, if you knew her I think you'd get what I mean.
Why is it always the people who kick up a fuss and moan about life who get all the perks, sods law huh girls!
and hope everyone else is having a great day. Sorry to moan and sound horrible.

A cap has already come off and I can see marks and stuff on it. Grrr! We were going to get a bigger car, but decided against it...we don't want to stretch ourselves too far financially while I'm not at work. And what a load of rubbish about that girl from work's baby crawling at 1 week! I very much doubt a 1 week old will have enough muscle development and strength to put one arm out to support itself, never mind coordinate all 4 limbs at once! Pfft, she's in la-la land!
I love mornings, Eva talks and coos and giggle for a good half hour during her morning change, and washup...They are getting so much more beautiful every day, aren't they? Eva was doing really well for about a week and has been gassy and crying the past two days. i hope it passes...I need the rest! I don't get excited for any changes since I am not sure how long they will stay 



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