Meg - like the new name :-D

Kaz - overwhelming is an understatement. I'm not coping at all. Last week when I visited teh MCHN nurse they did the PND test and I'm going backwards fast. I can't remember how many times, I've felt that little rubber band snap and its taken all my willpower to stop myself from just walking out on everything. I sometimes think i was pretty darn crazy to go into motherhood, considering all the crap I've been through in my life and I know I couldn't deal with two children - I'm really fortunate in that Alex is such a calm baby (most of the time). I know I just need to get over it, get my head around just getting used to holding him for 3+ hours a night but it still doesn't stop me from wanting to walk out on everything.

But its all sent to test us and what doesnt' shatter us into little tiny pieces makes us stronger - I just hope that I can hold it together long enough for Alex to get out of this stage and hang in there.