Babies born~July 1st-15th 2010 #1

[Salad]

Hi Girls, here i go again with another post about me. Some of you may have seen my post about E not having any wet nappies and very little wet nappies for about a month, well I went to the doctor and he said E wasnt getting enough fluids and asked how often I had been feeding him, I told him I thought my milk was going so I had been feeding him every 2 hours during the day and he was waking every 3 hours during the night for a feed. He told me I needed to top him up with formula, so I gave him a breastfeed before bed he took both sides then I gave him a bottle and he skulled 70ml. He woke up during the night and had weed through everything.

I went to the health nurse today for e's 4mth check, I burst into tears as soon as I started talking to the health nurse, she made me do the Post natal depression questionaire and it came back with a score of 13, she doesnt think I have PND but agrees I have some depression and/or anxiety because of everything that is going on and this most certainly will be affecting my milk and then making everything worse. Just so you girls know this hasnt just come out of the blue, just after E was born I could not shake the feeling that there was something wrong with me healthwise and when my DH found out about his melanoma i thought maybe thats it maybe thats what I have been sensing but since then the feeling is still there and I dont know if its because of whats happened to my DH or if its more. I have a huge fear of cancer, my MIL passed away from a brain tumour 3 years ago and my mum is in remission at the moment, they both had cancer at the same time. Now my DH.

I have an appointment on the 6th of December with my Dr - I cant get in before then as he is away and I dont want to see anyone else as he knows my family history.

To make things worse E was weighed and he has lost nearly 700grams, so I have pretty much been starving him by trying to persist with my BF. I am devastated that I cannot fully breastfeed him as I fed my DD for 13mths. Its not that I am against formula I am just upset that all this has happened and it has affected E. Last night before bed I gave him a 200ml bottle and he drank 3/4 of it (after a breastfeed) went to bed at 9:30 and slept until 3am, I gave him another bottle and he slept until 7:30, he is so much better on formula.

I dont really know what else to say and I never ever thought this would happen to me, I have so many good family and friends around me and a amazing husband who helps me so much, why the hell would I be depressed.

Thanks for listening I am so sorry to come in here whinging all the time, but I dont do mothers group and you girls are the closest I get to a mothers group.

I hope everyone else is well.
xoxo

[delphmoon]

Sal- why else on earth are belly buddies for hun!!

You have had an enormous time these past couple of months- It is bound to take its toll on you sometime.

I completely understand your concern about the whole breastfeeding thing. Its heartbreaking to want to breastfed and not being able to...its hard to accept isn't it. Have you heard about motillium- thats what I'm on to keep up supply and it works ok.

And please Sal- don't beat yourself up about E- we can't be perfect all the time but atleast we try hey! You love your kids and even I can 'see' that from this far away Atleast now you know whats going on and can go about fixing it.

Be kind to yourself hun- take time to just be...concentrate on your breathing when your really stressed or anxious..breath in for 3 counts and out for 3 counts and keep doing it for as long as you need to- It works! and cry when you need to.

Wish we lived close by cause I would come and give you a big BIG hug

PS- we are your mother group hun!!

[Salad]

Delph - thanks for your sweet words, I am glad I have you girls.

[jlk]

Hi all,

I was wondering if i could join in here, my little one was born on the 13th july, i am in the other july group but my little one is older than everyone elses by a bit.
I'm Jo, i live on the nsw/vic border and this is bub number 7 for me (5 here with us & 2 angels in heaven)

[Dr. Tal]

Jlk - Of course you can join us! Welcome. I really look forward to getting to know you better.

Sal - HUGE and PLEASE don't feel bad about coming in here an offloading. You need to talk about it to someone and as Delph said, what else are baby buddies there for if not to talk about baby things....and unfortunately, not ALL baby things are good as much as we wish they could be.

And don't beat yourself up about E's weightloss. We all kknow you were doing your best and that you were not purposely not giving him enough to drink. The imnportant thing is that you know now and that you are able to give him formula to fix it.

Please feel free to come in and unload ANY time you need to

[EmmaJane]

Hi ladies, thought I'd pop in and say hi.

Sal, big hugs from me too. Don't ever worry that you're having a "selfish" post! We are here to support each other after all. That must have been a scary shock to hear about E's weight loss. I've been a little worried about whether T has been getting enough to drink, so if you do read this, would you mind telling me a little more about your experience? PM me if you prefer. Just wondering about the number of wet nappies, do you mean there were days where he had none at all? Was he much of a chucker? It's okay if you don't want to talk about it any more of course...

Dr Tal - I'm just noticing your ticker for the first time! Brock is soo cute. Wow, he has lots of hair! And such a gorgeous smile.

Jlk - welcome to our group. With 4 kids already, you must have some great words of wisdom for us!

Hi Delph, OP and anyone else I've missed, gotta run...

[EmmaJane]

Bit of a poor-me post I'm afraid...

Before Travis was born I had these beautiful visions of domestic bliss where I'd be a great mum when bub was awake, then when he slept I'd be all organized around the house, make interesting new stuff for dinner and even make extra stuff for DH's lunches. In reality, he's such a bad sleeper that I have no time to do anything so the house is constantly a total mess and I rarely know what's for dinner until DH is already home from work. DH had the flu this week and he's not completely recovered, but I just couldn't deal with the lack of sleep last night and he looked after bub for a couple of hours in the early morning and again before lunch.

I'm still feeding T to sleep and not sure how we'll ever break the habit. Was just reading the australian baby whisperer's website and am thinking we'll have to utilize her services when T is 6 months old. I better get on the waiting list now. Tonight we tried putting him in the bassinet when he was tired and leaving him to cry a little before going back in, but he was even worse than usual and got so upset when DH picked him up. I tried cuddling him too, but even the usual colic hold or walk and rock wouldn't soothe him. I'd tried feeding him on the couch before we put him in the bassinet, but he wasn't interested. After a while of trying unsuccessfully to calm him, he was eager to feed on the bed, to sleep.

Oh yeah, you may have noticed we're still using a bassinet which sucks. DH's dad told us he was making a cot for us well before T was born, but it took him ages to finish it and then ages to paint it. We'd been telling him for ages that T was growing too big for the bassinet, but obviously it was too subtle, cos when DH told him we really needed the cot he finally painted it and brought it over last weekend. But the paint smell was too strong still so we haven't put T in it yet. Plus we decided to swap rooms and strip wallpaper and paint the new nursery before we moved him into it. So at the moment T is sleeping in the bassinet in our room and I wake up every time he stirs in his sleep, which is once an hour. So I am so tired at the moment.

To top things off there is a guy next door who gets drunk every Friday and Saturday night and yells abusive language at the TV till all hours.

Sorry about the whinging. There were some other things I wanted to comment on from previous posts but now I've forgotten them all. Oh, except the contraception question. We're using a combination of abstinence and the withdrawal method, lol. That's another thing to whinge about! Too tired for DTD! It still hurts too, but not as much. Actually I've had a couple of dreams recently where I realize I'm pregnant again already because I can feel the baby already. More like nightmares! I want to appreciate T while he's little without having the awkwardness of a pregnant belly! And as much as I enjoyed being pregnant the first time, I want to get back into shape before I do it again!

Crap bub is awake. Or hopefully it was just a sleep cry. Anyway, reminds me I should go to bed!

[Salad]

Thanks Dr Tal - B is so cute, just gorgeous

Hi Emma, I am happy to talk about E and his lack of wet nappies. Umm where to start, well it was probably over the space of a month , I noticed that they were never heavy, which also coincided with him waking up every 3 hours overnight, the waking didnt bother me too much as i thought maybe he was having the 4mth growth spurt. This was also at the same time as DH found the melanoma and we were waiting on tests to come back etc. I didnt act on the lack of wet nappies initially as I had so much on my plate, I was quickly changing his nappy then changing DD's nappy and just generally trying to get through the day and control myself emotionally with everything going on. I remember thinking gee he is doing little wees, because the nappies werent heavy but I could see a yellow tinge if I looked at them.

Anyway last sunday I thought right I am really going to watch these nappies and from the time he got up in the morning around 8am unitl 9am the next morning there were no wees at all. Then he did two poos in half an hour and then two tiny wees for the rest of the day as I had to catch them in a bag for the dr. The Dr said it was lack of fluids and to top him up with formula. I knew in my heart that I didnt have enough milk for him, I had been feeding him every two hours for two weeks and still no increase in supply.

Looking back now he must have been so drained and had no energy, he didnt smile at us hardly and he didnt want to be put down to play on the play mat. He wasnt crying etc just clingy but wasnt limp or anyhing. When i left the Dr's I went and brought some formula and bottles and when I put the bottle to his mouth he grabbed it with two hands and drank 70ml in a flash, i tried to take the bottle from him to slow him down and he went hysterical. He is fully formula fed now - something I never thought I would do let alone have to do. I breastfed my DD for 13 proud months, she never touched a drop of formula.

Now he has several very heavy wet nappies a day and is sooo smiley, everytime he sees me he smiles he coos he is happy to lay on his mat or sit in his chair and take in the world, he is a completely different baby, not that he was bad before its just that he feels a real part of it all now. And he sleeps either right through, or for good 6 hours blocks with a feed in between. I dont regret now that I have him on formula, its what he needs. I feel like I was starving him because I truly believed I could increase my milk.

If you want to know anything else, then feel free to ask, I didnt realise that was going to be so long. Oh and another thing, since putting him on formula my feelings of depression have lessened during the day, I still feel not right at night sometimes but once this stuff is finished with my DH and I visit the Dr hopefully I will feel better.

Dont worry about trying to be supermum, and having the house clean and new meals on the table (easy to say I know - I stress about it too), its still early days T is so little you will find as he gets older it will get easier and things seem to fall into place. As for him being in the bassinet in your room, could he sleep in the lounge area or something. E is still in our room in a bassinet but we will be moving him soon. With cleaning etc, something that helps me, if a checklist I write a checklist of things I need to get done that day and I try to tick them off, also I have set jobs for each day, so say bathrooms monday, bedrooms tuesday, vac wednesday you get the idea and I try to stick to them but if not too bad.

Hi to everyone else.

AFU - DH worked 16 hours straight from 2am thursday morning, they had a breakdown at his work and he had to go in, he was up for a total of 22 hours straight. Its 11:30pm here now and he got called in at 11pm for another breakdown, it takes 1/2 an hour to get there. Who knows when he will be home - feel like I havent seen him for 3 days. As i said above E is thriving on formula feels like he has put on 1kg in a couple of days lol. Its like he has just woken up, he is so beautiful.

My gosh that was a huge post.

[Dr. Tal]

Sal - Thanks....we think so too, but then again we might be a bit biased

It's nice to hear that E is doing so much better, and that you are as well. It must be so nice to have him smiling and interacting with you more now. And WOOHOO on the sleeps!

Your poor DH to have to work such long hours. Poor you too. I know I don't like it when my DH has to go out of town for work, and I can imagine having your DH working SO MANY hours it would basically be just like him working out of town.

Emma - I know before B was born I had these grand visions that I'd be getting much more done then I am now. I hardly do any house work at all at the moment. Bare minimum really, and tea doesn't even think about getting cooked until DH is home to either cook it himself or look after B while I cook it have my house work in two lists. Things that NEED to be done: B's washing, DH's work clothes washing, animal feeding, that sort of thing, and then things that should be done, but when there's time:vaccuuming, dish washing, etc...so when B's sleeping I do the things that NEED doing, then if there's time I'll try to do some of what should be done...if that makes sense. But I certainly wouldn't let yourself feel bad for not being Mrs. Sally homemaker. The most important thing is T and making sure he gets what he needs, including play time, and as long as he's happy and learning then you're being a fantastic mummy!

Also I still feed and/or rock B to sleep. I really think it only becomes a problem if he's still needing you to do it when he's 3 OR if you don't want to do it. I personally LOVE rocking B to sleep, so could really care less if he self settles IYKWIM.

And thanks! he does have HEAPS of hair. It was a lot darker when he was born, it's gotten quite light now, but still has heaps of it. I don't think he's lost any. It's a bit thinner at the sides, but I think it's more because the hair on top is longer and because his hair is so fine it's harder to see. I also just noticed that you have a pic of T on your ticker too. He looks like a right little cutie too. I can't beleive how quickly they are all growing up though

AFU - I've got clinic with B again tomorrow. I am going to have to make sure that I get the midwife I usually get, not the one I had last time, so I can see what her thoughts are about starting B on solids. I'm pretty sure I said it before but the more I think on what the other midwife was telling me the more it just doesn't sit right with me None of what she was saying really makes sense, and quite a bit of it goes against a lot of the most recent stuff I've read about feeding and when to start solids and whatnot.

[~StarBright~]

Hey sorry i am such a slack poster- i keep meaning to pop in but it never happens!! We have anew computer now so i will have more BB time (with my old computer it took literally 5 mins for a page to load = very frustrated me and no patience to read or post!!!)

But i just wanted to say to Salad.. you know i was following your other post re: lack of wet nappies and i just wanted to say i am pretty much in the same boat.. DD is having two-three formula bottles a day now- i know how hard it would have been for you to buy that formula- it was for me- but i think we had a really similar thing happen for us at the same time- i started with the little popper thing of pre made formula coz i swore i would never go down that road- but like E.. K lapped it up and was ssooooooo content afterwards!! I am taking fenigreek capsules to hopefully not completely loose all of my supple- and she still feeds occassionally, but i know what i am giving her isnt what she wants.. so i dont think it will be long until she is full time FF. Very different to DS who was breast fed very happily for 16 months without a drop of formula..

I know you have come to terms with it, and i just wanted to say- please dont ever feel bad or that your not good enough, you are doing what E needs, and that makes you a terrific mummy. (talking to myself here too ) And dont feel bad either that you waited so long to do it- coz i did too... and i felt the same- like i was starving her and i felt bad.. but we both had such good bfeeding experiences that i thought there was no reason why she would be different, but she was. And i know K has forgiven me- (i think she forgave me the second the bottle touched her lips!!) and they will both be fine!!!!! We arnt supposed to know it all off the bat it took me having her weighed- and my lil chubba bubba who would put on kilo's in weeks had only gained 180grams in 6 weeks.. so i knew she had either gained and lost weight or she just wasnt getting what she needed xxoo

Ok, sorry about that!!! JUst felt the need to get that out!!! I will try to pop back in later for personals for everyone!!! xxxooo

[OceanPrincess]

Hi girls, sounds like we all need some big hugs ATM...

Lots of stress going around... I'll try and get on the computer today and write back properly...

[OceanPrincess]

Ok! On the computer with two kids asleep, woot woot. Now that I have written that, one or both of them will wake up... What's the bet??

So! Big catch ups required... will do my best...

SB - you are no more slack than me hun Two kids keeps ya pretty busy so no judgement from me! Its good that you've come to a decision re K's feeding. At the end of the day, happy baby = happy mummy = happiness all round. How you get there, well, that's up to you - and how stressed you get about that is also up to you. You are sounding very grounded about it all which is great

You are right, you are a terrific mummy!

Dr T - think you asked a while back about solids? Basically there are two schools of thoughts - BLS and puree/mash/rough chopping path. If you're doing purees to begin, you can start as early as four months, depending on when you decide to start. But if you want to do strictly BLS (finger foods) then baby really needs to be sitting up, holding his head up, so that the finger foods aren't a choking hazard.

There are lots of threads going round here about BLS, as well as a general BLS chatter thread I think so pop over there if you're interested in going down that path. I think we are going to do a mix - purees/rice ceral to begin during the day, then at night when we are having dinner as a family, if there's something finger food-ish I can give X then I'll give him some tidbits while we eat. Thinking things like carrot sticks, broccoli trees, pasta, etc. But he is nowhere near ready so I'm in no hurry.

How did you go at the clinic - did you get the other nurse?? What did she say about introducing solids?

I really love your attitude about B's sleeping too. Kudos to you for following your instincts and not getting caught up in the whole sleep debate.

Sal - massive hugs You have so much going on atm, like I said to SB above, good on you for making your decision and coming to terms with it so well. It sounds like E is really thriving now so that is fantastic. Seriously, with all that you have going on, it just sounds like you've figured out what's going to work for you and you're doing it. Well done

Emma - big hugs to you too

I think we all start out with those visions - I know I did! But it is so hard in the beginning as you adjust to life with a little being who is completely dependent on you for everything! Add to that a baby who needs a little more attention, it can do your head in. My DD was one of those babies - up til I don't even know what age, I had to rock her to sleep - she refused to feed to sleep (didn't know if that was a blessing or a curse!) and didn't like co-sleeping but just would not self-settle. We went through a brief period of self-settling but with the aid of a dummy - so that's not even self-settling really! Then she started pulling the dummy out and crying so we had to get rid of that... and it wasn't until maybe 6mths that she started self-settling. She began to sleep longer during the day and started self-settling in the cot at night.

But then of course something would change (teeth, sickness, moving her into her big bed) and she'd go back to being a rotten sleeper again.

Thankfully, now she is a great sleeper - once she is asleep. It is frustrating but you just have to roll with it.

The good news is - when she is awake, I can get stuff done around the house. She "helps" with the washing, with making the beds, doing dishes... even if helping is just sitting and playing at my feet while I do these things, at least she is amused, content and I can get stuff done! The only thing I struggle with now is the vacuuming - she hates the noise and I really need to have someone else here to distract her while I vacuum.

And you know what? In recent times, I have gone maybe a week, maybe longer without vacuuming. Everything else I can keep on top of but that eludes me. I just have to get over it and move on.

Sometimes DH comes home and I've managed to get dinner started, most times not. Its just the way it is. Motherhood is a busy and stressful job on the best days - throw in an unsettled baby and I think you're kicking goals if you've managed to have a shower and get out of your pyjamas!!!

Massive hugs It gets better - its just a phase - this too will pass!

Agh - two awake now! Better dash! Sorry that was so long! Will try and write more tonight...

[OceanPrincess]

Forgot to say a big WELCOME to jlk!!!!

[OceanPrincess]

Oh and I wanted to share this with Emma...

Cleaning and scrubbing will wait ’till tomorrow, but children grow up, as I’ve learned to my sorrow. So quiet down cobwebs! Dust go to sleep! I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep. – Ruth Hamilton

Print it out and stick it on your fridge :hugs:

[Dr. Tal]

OP - I think I might go the route of a combination of the two, as in BLS and puree/mash. But I guess in the end it will really all just depend on how B takes to it all anyway.

Yes, I did get to clinic today and saw the MW that I wanted to see. She weighed B and he'd put on nearly 250g in the past two weeks so was very happy with his weight gain. I asked her about solids and she said that between 4-6 months is the going 'trend' (she actually said trend) but that she likes to see them closer to the 6 month mark then the 4 month. She did say that it's very dependant on the baby and that SOME may be ready at the 4 month mark, but that most really aren't until at least 5 months. We talked about the signs and whatnot, and she was perfectly happy to let me wait and give him solids in our time. SO I feel a heap better for following my gut and not starting him two weeks ago when the other one said it was 'time'

SB - Sounds like you've been having your share of challenges as well. I'm with OP, you need to do whatever is best for both you and K and if that's a combination of BF and FF or even fully FF then that is what you need to do.

As for being slack with posting. I wouldn't call it that! I can't imagine how you ladies with two or more do it.

AFU - DH came up with an idea last night and I thought I'd give it a go. We were talking about when we start B on solids and he asked if there was any reason why we couldn't feed B some breast milk with a spoon. He thought that it might make it easier when we do decide to feed him solids as it won't be two new things. It won't be a new food AND a new way of feeding, just a new food IYGWIM. I thought why not, so we sat him in the bumbo and gave it a go. Well he took to it like a duck to water After a few spoonfuls he was getting the hang of swallowing, the first few all the milk just came right back out, but by the end he was getting most of it down. And tonight he was reaching for the spoon to 'help' (read this as helping me spill milk all over him, the bumbo, the floor, the dogs ) and he was opening his mouth wide and trying to shove the spoon in himself. Don't know if it will actually help with anything when it comes time to actually try solids, but he's certainly having fun in the meantime

[OceanPrincess]

Dr T - that will definitely help!! Part of the readiness for solids is the cessation of the "tongue thrust" reflex, which is when their tongue pushes anything that is not booby (or booby-like ) out of their mouth to help protect them from choking.

Sounds like B might be well on his way to starting solids! How exciting!

Don't forget that you can mix EBM with everything as they start, to help with the new tastes. Esp rice cereal (farex) - make it up with EBM instead of water.

[Dr. Tal]

OP -Thanks for that. Definitely makes sense. Will have to make sure I do that. I actually bought a rice cereal yesterday when I was at the grocery store. It's Raffertys Garden or something like that. Doesn't have any preservatives or anything in it, so I was really excited about that. DH and I were talking this morning and we think we might start B on solids next weekend. So not this one coming but the one after. When he's 5 months. Obviously we'll see how he's going when the day gets here, but that's what we're thinking.

How's X going? Still a growing machine?

[OceanPrincess]

Rafferty's Garden stuff is great - I bought all the different breakfast cereal ones for DD, she loved them. My sister has also started using the Rafferty's packets for my nephew (he's 10mths) for when they are out and about - with my niece (2.5yrs) sis was so good about making everything fresh, mashig veges and fruit and stuff herself... then when #2 came along, she realised she had better things to do with her time than mash veges, so she started buying the Rafferty's packets. They are really good! As natural as you can get with pre-made baby food...!

Very exciting about trying something next weekend!! Woo

AFU, I didn't get to an update on us, did I?? X is still going (growing) well! His size zero suits are fitting snugly now... Bonds are too small but all other brands still ok, fine around the middle but getting tight in the length. He has a long torso and long long legs!

His head control is excellent and he is trying to pull himself up into sitting position, from lying flat on his back! Needs to grow some super strong muscles before managing that one - most kids go from their tummy and pull back through into a sitting position. Trust my baby to be a bit backwards!!!

He rolls from tummy to back... but we haven't succeeded in back to tummy yet. Not from want of trying - he flips this way and that but just can't get his arm out of the way to roll! But somehow he still on the move - he wriggles around on the floor and gets into all sort of positions. He just loves taking everything in, he lies on the floor on his mat watching everything, smiling and chattering away. His sister amuses him no end!!!

Better go check on the little man... the air cond is roaring making it a bit hard to hear him in his room! So hot here today!