thread: When your beliefs are different to family/friends...

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  1. #1
    Registered User

    Jan 2004
    Melbourne, Australia
    1,002

    SJ, it is very challenging isn't it! My DH was brought up muslim and I was brought up catholic. His family are not around so I don't haev to deal with them but my family are around and mum and dad are very catholic. He does not observe all muslim things but he does not eat pork products and does not want dd to either. He does not tell me what to eat but I don't have pork products in the house.
    My mum is absolutley lovely and would love to take dd to church but will not out of respect for DH's views. But she does not seem to care about feeding dd ham sandwiches and putting bacon in pumpkin soup and feeding taht to both DD and DH. It sort of makes me laugh now as it does not matter how many times I say it she just can't understand it.
    We did not have any ceremonies for DD as I jsut thougth it would cause too many issues. I feel like I should try to do more to teach her about our faiths so she can make an informed decision when she is older.

  2. #2
    BellyBelly Member
    Add Tobily on Facebook

    May 2004
    Brisbane
    1,814

    I was baptized and raised Catholic by parents who identify as Catholic (one never goes to mass, the other goes and snoozes in the back row every week )

    I have never felt comfortable with christianity or the catholic faith since I was very young. About 10 years ago I began to explore buddhism. You'd think I'd gone and joined a cult for the way my parents ridiculed it and carried on. They really had (still don't have) the faintest idea what it's all about. When our children were born they weren't baptized yet they are still assuming they will be going to catholic schools (they aren't).

    I don't discuss my spirituality with them anymore because although they are my parents and I love them, and i know they love me - they don't understand it and have no interest in understanding it.

    It's my life, these are mine and my husbands children...we will raise them as we see fit. They've had their turn

  3. #3
    Registered User

    Mar 2007
    6,900

    anney- people can be really disrespectful!! I remember someone in my family once talking about how they went to a BBQ for something and they couldn't have pork there because of the muslim people and the meat had to be halal. And they were saying: why should we cater for them? Should have just not told them that it was halal anyway, what they don't know won't hurt them! I can't believe how rude this is. They just don't get it at all!! It's not the same as a kid not liking it's veggies so you hide them in it's food!!

    tobily- that's what it's like, like you've gone and joined some weird cult!! I feel like you too, I just don't discuss things with them anymore.

  4. #4
    Registered User

    Jan 2006
    8,369

    There's a great bit in Isaiah - at the end somewhere, really near the end, like chapter 58 onwards, I'm thinking 65 but could be wrong - about doing what's right in the sight of God and not in the sight of man. Decide who you're going to please and do it. If you have studied the Bible and believe that eating pork is wrong then stick to it - show your family the scripture.

    Personally, I believe that what God has made clean no man should make unclean (somewhere in Acts... I need to brush up on my memory verses) BUT that's my belief, not yours. We are both trying to do what is right in the eyes of God and I'm not to tell you that I'm right about it and you're not, but I will say why I believe what I do and let you be guided by scripture. (Can I ask where you get your beliefs from? I'd rather be corrected if I need to be.)

    If you are lied to then as far as I'm concerned, it's not your problem - the person who lied will have to answer to God on two counts; lying and going against God's word. You do the best you can to the best of your abilities and God can't blame you for someone else lying to you.

    Good for you for sticking to your guns and I agree, if you can't trust someone then they shouldn't babysit.

    (BTW, Maz, I agree Christening shawls are nice to have for a christening, but why not knit a lovely shawl for another reason: christening shawls aren't scriptural, gorgeousest baby in the world shawls aren't non-scriptural.)

  5. #5
    Registered User

    Mar 2007
    6,900

    Thankyou very much for your post Ryn, it's exactly what I think. I would never be so disrespectful as to trick someone b/c I didn't agree with their beliefs or tell them I thought their beliefs were wrong/silly. I don't really care if ppl have different beliefs to me as long as they're happy.

    I tried to start writing about the not eating pork thing but I was not making any sense or explaining myself well, lol, so I found an article on it instead that explains much better than I could here I haven't read all of it tho coz it's pretty long!! But I think it gives the idea.
    Basically there's two views on different parts of scripture and what they mean regarding if the food laws were abolished or not. There was heaps of articles on it when I googled.

  6. #6
    Registered User

    Jan 2006
    8,369

    Thanks for that, SaraJane, that was an interesting read. Certainly something to think about.

    I don't eat pig meat anyway - the odd bit of meat I do eat is mostly fish or beef for the Sunday roast - but something to think about for my son, who eats pretty much everything. I do eat prawns so will be poring over those Bible verses this weekend to make sure they check out when taken in context!

  7. #7
    Registered User

    Mar 2007
    6,900

    Yeah, I didn't eat much pork before anyway and then after reading stuff like that the stuff about how gross pigs can be was enough to put me off anyway, lol. But I love prawns and calamari Oh well.

  8. #8
    Lucy in the sky with diamonds.

    Jan 2005
    Funky Town, Vic
    7,070

    Maybe you could announce to everyone that you are now following the Duck God. Wear only orange on Tuesdays and insist they take their shoes off and turn around anti-clockwise before they enter you house. Wave your arms around chanting to 'cleanse their auras' as they enter.
    Set up a little table in the corner and place random objects such as your hairbrush, blender and some vacuum cleaner bags on there. Surround them with candles.
    If there is a family function you don't want to go to, tell your family you cant possibly go as its Sacred Purple Day.

    A few months of this and they will be relieved when you tell them you got bored with it and have decided to go back to normal and never give you crap about it again.....