i apologise in advance if i offend anyone, but i am ready to explode if i havent already. My DH took me out for dinner last night (the first time since my ectopic?surgery) we were having the most lovely night and it was so good to be out and about, apart form the odd prg woman around that made my stomach knot up. But it was cool and i was doing great, we finished up and walked outside and there standing at the front door was a girl i reckon 8 or 9 monthes prg SMOKING I was sooooo upset and i cant even believe how much i wanted to rip her throat out (sorry i'm really not a violent person) we walked home and i cried the whole way more than ive cried in the whole 2 monthes of this horrid experience. I told my husband i'm not just crying for me but all th wonderful women who have shared their heartbreak with me on this website, the ones of us that do everything right, go through hell and back, fertility treatment, invasive tests, mc's, ectopics, still births and the list goes on, we fight so hard to have our little ones and would give up everything just for the chance to hold our angels and shes standing there fagging it up, it just killed me, maybe i needed to have that cry i dont know, but even today my blood is still boiling and i cant help but ask WHY I guess i'll never know. My husband was so great and told me to look at DS who is 4 and so smart and sporty with no health problems and that is why!! so i guess i need to remember that, what i dont get is why you wouldnt want to give your child the best start in life, if you want to do things that put youre body in danger then thats up to you but when you are carrying another life its youre reponsibility to give that life the best. I do apologise for my rant i just had to get it off my chest. Thanks everyone for listening