i try to talk to df and he doesnt hear me - he only thinks about whats in his head, not how suffocating and choking and just damn horrible this is. I know some of his reasons for wanting to wait make sense, but to me most of the reasons he gives are completely irrelevant.

As it is it looks like we could be in our home in the next 6-12 months, and i really dont know how the hell i can get through waiting that long If the fear of trying again has built up so much in the last few months, how petrified will i be by then?

why does it matter soooo much to be in our house - its (the house) is going to happen anyway, why cant we try anyway?